Those Crazy Wives

I still haven’t found a new reality show to watch, but I’ve watched bits and pieces of the many, many, MANY “wives” shows. There are housewives from Orange County, New York, New Jersey and Atlanta and Beverly Hills (is there another?), there are basketball wives, football wives, rock star wives, and there are probably some more I don’t even know about.  

Let’s start with my favorites. I love Bethenny Frankel from New York because she says what she is thinking, picked a great husband, and has an actual career. I like NeNe and Cynthia from Atlanta because they both make me laugh. I like Jacqueline from New Jersey because she is an innocent … a bunny in the midst of snakes. And, that’s about it. I don’t like any of the basketball, football or rock star wives … but I’ve watched very little of them.

The wives you love to hate. First up  … the countess of New York, LuAnn, the pretentious royalty wannabe. Danielle and Teresa of New Jersey … are the women of New Jersey really that crass, that foul-mouthed, and that useless?

But, the worst of the worst is the phony baloney, narcissistic, plastic-enhanced, bleached blonde Camille Grammer.  She surrounds herself with paid friends (an actual grown-up group of “mean girls”) and a psycho psychic … and is simply all agog with her own conspiracy theory that all women are jealous of her and all men want her. Even though Kelsey Grammer cheated on her and now wants a divorce to marry a much younger woman, I’m still on his side. That’s how bad she is … I would actually take sides with the homewrecker instead of a woman nearer to my age and who is about to be a single mom. I can’t even blame Kelsey after getting a load of this dimwitted bimbo. She’s posed for Playboy, but criticizes others for it. Is just sooooo tired after giving orders to her four nannies, cook, house manager and her plethora of personal assistants who come off like paid cheerleaders … giving Camille a “rah rah” every time she opens her mouth. She can’t keep her hands to herself when men, no matter if they are married or not, are in the room. When she takes time to visit her poor (who had been cancer-stricken) mother, she does it in the nail salon because she is so tired and busy and whiny … let the people come to her please. She has four or five or however many houses to run, and that’s hard work! She’s not crazy about her NY apartment because it’s not “big enough” for her and her nannies and paid staff! Kelsey comes off like a saint for putting up with this idiot for so many years.

And, what’s even worse … she brings on the show that ridiculous fake medium Allison Dubois. I had never heard of her, but I know now she’s the reason for the show “Medium” which is probably going to take a major nosedive if anyone saw her on the “Housewives” show. She comes across like an affected, self-centered, fraudulent braggart who can’t get enough of herself. She makes inappropriate, childish gestures and says things that are downright evil.

For example: “If any of their children disappeared they wouldn't be like, ‘You were wrong,’ they'd be, like, ‘Can you help?’ Pssh, *&$# them.”

My crystal ball tells me that she will be so so sorry for her actions on “Housewives” unless, of course, she’s looking to take her spot among the bad girls of Beverly Hills next season.

Anyway, this woman is a smack-talking imposter. She needs to go back to whatever hole she crawled out of and start tapping into her own head to find her sense of remorse. And, if she really was some type of clairvoyant, why didn’t she use her amazing psychic abilities to predict the backlash that was to come after her appearance on “Housewives” or to tell her dear friend Camille that her husband was about to kick her to the curb for a younger, sweeter, prettier version?

So … that’s that for the housewives. Still looking for the one show to watch!

Finding Something To Blog About

I haven’t been blogging lately because the shows I blog about are down for the count. It will be next season before I can do show updates. I could still talk about the cast of Jersey Shore or that trainwreck Amber from Teen Mom. She can’t stay out of the news …

I’ve been trying to find a new show to blog about, but because I don’t have a clear winner … I am going to watch random reality shows and blog about those.

I am going to start with The A-List from LOGO. These are the real bitchy boys of NYC, the A-List gay New Yorkers. They are hilarious! They all remind me of characters from "The Wizard of Oz"… Derek needs a heart, Austin needs a brain, Reichen needs some courage, and Rodiney needs to go home. Ryan is definitely the Wizard … he just trying to help them all. And, why is TJ  there again?

Reichen is an actor and Austin and Rodiney are models … not sure what the rest do for a living. I’m thinking Ryan is just rich. These guys are, in some ways, “stereotypes” of how the world sees gay men … body-conscious, fashion-forward, bitchy and a little prissy. When Austin and Rodiney get in a little tussle, they do a little slapping but very little damage. One of the others remarks, “That was SOOO masculine of you …” to Austin who reacted to a drink being thrown at him (thus the tussle).

These guys are very pretty, in shape, funny, and entertaining. They have no time for women. Any woman in this show is either the loving mom, or is there in some sort of “servant” capacity. Derek had his assistant actually shave his legs. Really, Derek? Gross. When they mention women, it’s almost in a negative light such as Austin’s comment about disliking Derek’s appearance at Fire Island … “He’s such a buzzkill. Like watching porn and a girl shows up.”

As a straight, single woman watching this unfamiliar world, I’m empathetic to some of their personal struggles like finding a job (been there), looking for the right man (definitely done that), making true friends (and keeping them), and just trying to live a life free of judgment and insecurities. These guys just want to have fun, and I can relate.

Jersey Shore ... Back into the Fold

The season finale starts off with the group taking a trip to the everglades and getting up close and personal with “alligators or crocodiles or whatever you call them” says Pauly D. I think they are alligators. They end up at some restaurants that serves friend frog and other disgusting things. I’m with the Jersey Shore gang because this crap is gross. The frog looks like a frog. Even Mike gets sick … literally.

On the final night, Pauly D and Vinny take Rocio and Ramona (separately) on final dates. Vinny says his best memories are of Ramona. Pauly D wants to “give Rocio a shot” … I guess to be his girlfriend. He doesn’t even want to smash  her. He wants to get to know her first. She’s one lucky girl because she’s escaping national embarrassment, disease and who knows what else. On this night and on their date, Sammi and Ronnie are fighting. I don’t know why and I don’t care.

Pauly D and Vinny aren’t missing their girls too much, because the gang is out to party later that night. Vinny picks up two “hos,” but then he decides to “say no to hos.” Mike … not so much. He steps right in. These girls are the worst and are happy to go to the bathroom with Mike.

The rest of the show centers on the gang cleaning up the house and getting ready to move out … and fighting with each other. They keep telling on each other. Mike tells Sammi that Snooki thinks she should help out more. Snooki tells Jenni that Mike, Pauly D and Vinny think she is fake (a big fat lie by the way).

HOW OLD ARE THESE PEOPLE??

Really, I’ve had enough. I’m glad the season is over. Hopefully, I will be ready again next year.

Sister Wives Finale

For some reason, TLC puts new episodes of "Sister Wives" back to back each Sunday. For the finale, it was no different. Episodes were "A Fourth Wife To Be" and "Four Wives and Counting."  TLC has not said whether this show will be back, and although I loved watching this train wreck, I'm not sure where the show could go from here ... unless Kody gets bored again and is looking for Nos. 5 and 6. That would be interesting to see if he could find more women to join up now that he is a minor celebrity. For this blog, I'm combining both shows.

In these episodes, jealousy is rampant. Kody is spending one out of every four nights with the wife to be, Robyn, and the wives don't think that is fair since she is not a wife yet. Robyn disagrees of course.

They are in the throes of wedding planning. By "they" I mean the whole crazy bunch of them. They go to the cake testing, and by secret ballot, vote on their favorite. How sweet is it when Kody and Robyn have the same choice? Meri doesn't think so.

They find a place for the reception, and make jokes about people having "no idea how much we share." Seriously. Gross.

Then there is the dress shopping. Robyn has the group dressed in brown, and they pick their dresses. She tries on numerous wedding dresses, and then tells the girls she wants to keep her choice "a secret." But oh no, Kody drops a bomb on the group. He actually picked out the dress! The whole "dress shopping experience" was an elaborate charade! Christine is having none of it. She points out that he didn't care what she wore at their wedding.  Janelle feels betrayed. I think Meri is just speechless.

The wives have pointed out before the differences in their situations and marriages to Kody compared to Robyn's experiences. Wake up Wives, I think he likes her the best!

The day of the wedding, Kody says "I feel 12." Well, no one would disagree that he acts it. While Robyn is getting ready at home, the rest of the wives and daughters get their hair and nails done at the salon.

First Wife Meri, sadly, is helping Kody get ready for his wedding (a private affair with no cameras allowed). She says she wishes  it was her wedding night. Don't worry, Meri, you'll get your chance in about four days!

They take a family photo, dance at the reception (Kody shares his time), and then ... at the end of the night ... Kody says goodbye to each wife before heading off on his honeymoon.

They end the show saying the wedding was beautiful, that they are each other's best friends, blah blah blah.

Just my opinion:

Kody is not in love. Kody may be in lust. If he loved even one of his wives, he would be devoted to her and only her. Polygamy may make sense if you want an extra babysitter or you are just bored ... it doesn't go with being in love. It just doesn't. I don't envy or hate these women. They seem OK, but they do not understand how a real relationship would work. They haven't seen it modeled, and they haven't been involved in one. How sad for them not to be the best friend and true love to their "husband." I just feel sorry for them.

Next Up ... Jersey Shore.

Jersey Shore … Déjà vu All Over Again

Jersey Shore ...

After the “disagreement” at the club Tantra, everybody heads home. And Vinny is with Ramona who is the girl that “everyone wants, “ but she is not DTF. She seems DTF to me. Anyway …

Mike and Snooki had a disagreement at the club about when it was time to leave, so the next day Mike apologizes. “Baby, I’m sorry ..”Again, do women really buy his crap?

After Snooki’s friend leaves, to cheer her up, Jenni says they are going to Space … a new club. At Space, Snooki expects to find her man … “a guido juicehead gorilla sexy tan and sweaty.” Whatever happened to funny, intelligent, tall, good job (or just a job would be nice), interesting personality and good looking? What is wrong with these girls?

They get dressed to go out.

I almost couldn’t look at Jenni’s outfit. It was too much of not enough. Pasties, tiny skirt … she looked like a hooker. Even Snooki thought so.

Within an  hour of being at Space, Mike and Snooki get into a fight with other “clubbers” and get kicked out. Pauly D tries to do himself and Mike a favor and “grabs two chicks.” The girls go home with them, get into bed with the guys … and the girl with Mike wakes up and realizes what she has gotten herself into, and wants to leave. Smart girl. Her friend follows suit.

Pauly D is mad because Mike is not a good wingman. According to Pauly D, Mike should have left the room, entertained the smart girl and let him do his business. Mike doesn’t want to and doesn’t. Mike’s girl tells him that “he should have gotten easier girls.”

Pauly D is still mad because Mike should have “taken one for the team.” Sometimes, according to Pauly D, you have to “entertain the grenade or decipher (he meant diffuse) the bomb if one comes. It’s a war out there.”

Later, Mike’s telling the story to Vinny and, suddenly, the girl is a grenade and HE put a stop to it. The truth is the girl was cute, she wasn’t having any of it and Mike’s a liar.

Pauly D wants to  pick up random girls every night, but then spends time at the beach with Rocio while Vinny is with Ramona. Poor Rocio ... she should find someone who deserves her as she seems like a nice girl. Ronnie and Sammi join them, and Sammi enjoys everyone being “all wifed up.

That night, Mike cooks dinner and sets off the fire alarms. The firemen show up and Jenni calls them “Prime A meat of men.” Say what? Snooki tells us that she would have “smooshed” them. Classy.

That evening, Ronnie makes the mistake of telling Sammi she looks “Asian” and he “likes it.” Problem: His ex-girlfriend was Asian. Ronnie tells Sammi to brush it off, but as with anything he says, she can’t. Fight on.

The next night or so, back at Tantra, Pauly D and Mike find some “DTF” girls and “pull the trigger.” They head home. Problem was they didn’t get to know these girls AT ALL (which is not a surprise of course). They are sisters, and one is engaged. The girls take no time telling the guys they are staying five minutes and  heading home. Quickly, the guys kick them out.

I was SO BORED with this episode, and blogging about it is painful. The more I watch this show, the more I wonder if these people will ever really contribute to society. I am entertained sometimes. I am annoyed all the time. 

Next up ... season finale of Sister Wives.

Teen Moms ... See You Later

It's the final episode this season. All in all, I've learned to like Farrah, Catelynn and Tyler, despise Amber and understand Maci a little better. I never watched this show before this year, and teen moms are not funny. It's a difficult situation and these girls, with the exception of Amber, are doing the best they can.


Catelynn & Tyler

They are off to meet Carly. They seem OK and happy that Carly has great parents. They take pictures and eventually give Carly a scrapbook. They also give Carly a "recordable book" where Catelynn and Tyler have recorded their voices reading to Carly. It brings tears. And, it was very sweet.

What was sad about this whole thing is not the visit, but the way it causes Catelynn and Tyler to reflect on their own parents. They are happy that Carly has parents that take good care of her, love her and take her to the park. Tyler says, "Carly will never have to worry about who will take her to the park. I wish I had a dad that would have taken me to the park."

Carly takes to them fairly quickly which is interesting. She must sense something.

(By the way, April calls to check on Catelynn and Tyler after their visit. I score it as a victory because she didn't cuss or call Catelynn a dirty name.)

Carly is lucky to have such smart birth parents who wanted something better for her. Catelynn and Tyler did the right thing.

Maci

Maci and Ryan meet with a mediator to determine visitation for Bentley. Ryan, fairly, wants five days a week to Maci's nine days. Just one more day than he has now ... even the mediator thinks that is fair. Maci agrees, but she is crying the whole time. I will give her credit; she loves and cares for Bentley and sometimes that means doing the right thing for him. He does need time with his dad.

Both Maci and Ryan are now single. Ryan makes an odd comment ... "Do you think we should be together for Bentley?" She says no, and he agrees.

Later Maci comments, "Now that we are both single ... Who knows?"

Farrah

Farrah has a date. His name is Julian, and I think he's her hair stylist. She mentions her baby and then wonders if she will ever hear from him again.

Already, after just a few days in the rental house owned by her parents, Farrah is unhappy. Her mom gave her a rental agreement and some paperwork requiring a background check and a few other things. She also wants Farrah to pay half a month's rent since she moved in early.

Farrah doesn't get it, but as a mom, I get it. She's trying to teach Farrah about the real world. Farrah wanted her mom to give her a break and help her out financially. Farrah is telling all of this to her friend when ... taaa daa  ...  Julian calls. I guess Sophia didn't scare him off.

Then, Farrah goes to visit with her mom about the rental agreement. She complains to her mom, and her mom tells her she is treating her the same way she would treat any applicant. Farrah asks for a break in the rent, and mom caves.

Farrah tries to explain to her mom that she is still grieving, under stress and still sad. She starts crying.

Her mom tears up and tells her that someday someone will love her and cherish  her. She tells Farrah that she can't change the past so she has to focus on the future.

Farrah then wants a hug. I loved this.

Amber (or she-devil)

Amber's at home, and SHOCK, in bed while her new work-release boyfriend Chris is cleaning house. Gary calls, from his mom's house where he and Leah are staying, and tells Leah they need to work out custody arrangements. He also asks Amber why Leah's not wearing clean clothes and why her legs are all scratched up. Amber blows up. During this call, Chris gets on the phone with Gary which makes no sense at all to me ... or Gary.

Gary hangs up, and Amber gets in her car and is off to find Gary. They play "chase" then she goes home. Chris, the felon, tries to soothe Amber telling her she's "better than that" and that she's "a good mother."

Gary tells a friend about the incident and the friend wonders how Gary feels now. Gary says he misses who Amber was, not who she is now. "I'm not going back to her," says Gary, "now I'm thinking about my daughter first."

Gary finally agrees to come over and discuss Leah. He tells Amber that Chris must leave. Chris leaves.

They get in a fight, of course, and Gary leaves then comes back and apologizes. Not sure why he is apologizing. But, we find out two things here, Chris has moved in with Amber. And Gary doesn't want Chris changing Leah's diapers. Fair enough. But not to psycho Amber.

When Gary returns and apologizes, Leah tells her mom to be "quiet." Now, we know who has the brains in this family.  Gary hugs Amber and even Leah can't believe it.

So, if there is a next season ... the questions are?

Does Maci go back to Ryan or Kyle?
Is Amber allowed any visitation at all with Leah?
Do Catelynn and Tyler finish high school?
How does Farrah learn to move past her grief and get on with her life?

Next up ... Jersey Shore!

Sister Wives ... First Wife's 20th Anniversary

It's all so surreal in Kody's world. He's celebrating an anniversary. He just had a baby. He is about to get married. I don't even know what to say or write.

The first three wives decide to buy the soon-to-be-fourth "sister wife" a ring from them to welcome her to the family. The ladies tell the jeweler it is "just because." It's just easier to be vague. The wives wonder, "Why do people care?" and "Why does it matter?"

Well, you guys are the ones with the TV show so you tell me? My guess is nobody really cares, and it doesn't matter if the three, I mean four, of you want to share your husband. We all just don't understand you, and people like to watch "strange" or "different."

Mariah, the daughter of Meri and Kody, wants to be a part of the U.S. Naval Academy. They support her dreams, but it means that she must stay in public school. The private, polygamous school that most of the children attend is not accredited. Surprise. Surprise. The marriages are not real. The school is not real.

Kody and Meri go to Mexico for their anniversary. She has feelings of jealous and she wants him to understand and acknowledge those feelings. I got news for your Meri ... he doesn't get it. He may declare love for you, and say he gets it. If he really loved you, he wouldn't want to hurt you or upset you. Really, he wouldn't.

Meri asks him a very fair question and wonders how he Kody would like it if she was with another man. Kody can't comprehend it. It's vulgar and obscene and goes against God. Really Kody? Really?

Kody said he understands that heartbreak will happen. Just can't stop it. Yes, he can stop it. And, no, he doesn't care. And yes, he is selfish. He gets what he wants.

Watch out girls ... there will be more wives. There are a lot of desperate women out there.

Next Up Jersey Shore, Teen Mom and more Sister Wives.

Sister Wives ... A Wife In Labor

Kody and Christine go to the doctor for a checkup and end up getting ready to have a baby ... the 13th baby on the 13th of the month. They talk about the anniversary coming up (his and Meri's) and the wedding coming up (his and Robyn's). It's all so exciting! Kody's fifth wife should be a secretary, so she can keep his schedule straight.

While Christine is in labor, Robyn's watching all the kids. It's chaos. Does she really want this? Although most of the plural marriages opt for home birth, this time Christine is in the hospital because she had a miscarriage previously. She's getting an epidural.

While Christine is waiting patiently to have their baby, Kody heads home to pick up a suitcase and her stuff. Her water breaks, so she wants him to come quickly. He kisses Robyn goodbye while his wife is in labor. Fun times. Oh, and back at the hospital, time to have a baby. Their oldest daughter, Aspyn, is watching. So is the rest of America.

Aspyn says the birth was "so cool" while Christine says it was "so easy" and I think it is all "so insane."

Next up, Sister Wives again.

Jersey Shore … Girls Like That

Angelina’s gone along with the “bad aura,” according to Pauly D. They move her bed out, and practically don’t mention her again. It’s like she was never there. They decide to celebrate with a meal that includes lobster. The lobsters were somewhat alive when they bring them home, and Snooki decides to save one … she names him Charlie. Poor Charlie still ends up in the cooking pot.

For some reason, Snooki decides to apologize to Sammi for the note. I don’t get why now. It seems soooo last season. Even though it was this season. Sammi doesn’t really accept it.

So the guys are happy and hanging together in the hot tub. The girls are unhappy hanging together in the house. The scene with the girls shows then sitting in the living room, each of them playing with their hair … either on their head or their eyelashes or eyebrows. These are always touching their hair. Jenni says she used to be up “girls like that in high school.” I guess girls like Sammi.

Although she stood him up before, Ramona is back in Vinny’s life. They go to the beach. Vinny is in love. Ramona is from Romania, she speaks three languages, she wears a tiny bikini, she has a puppy, and she’s a dancer at a club. The girl is perfect! There were definitely “fireworks” between them, says Vinny.

Snooki’s friend Ryder comes to visit. Then the group goes to Klutch. Mike calls himself a prophecy and it was predicted that that a “pimp of all pimps” would be  on earth and his name would be The Situation. However, the girls at the club think he is the “jerk of all jerks” and actually seem to be trying to avoid him … asking for help from their friends, telling him he is “too much.”

When they leave the club … because Mike wants to leave … Snooki doesn’t want to go. She does leave, but she’s mad at Mike.

Next day, Snooki and Ryder are out and about and run into Mike and Pauly D. He kind of tries to apologize but she wasn’t have much of it. He calls her a “drama queen.”

Next night, they are out again. Ramona shows up and while Vinny is in the bathroom, Mike tries to move in because “she’s definitely one of the hottest girls in Miami.”  Ramona, God love her, doesn’t bite and tells Vinny what happened.  Then Mike is mad and pouts and watches Ramona and Vinny. Weird and childish.

Some other weird things happen. Mike kisses Snooki. What? Mike says he controls the group and they leave when he says.  “I’m the daddy,” says Mike.

Random thoughts on this episode:

Mike seems obnoxious and creepy.

There’s trouble coming in Sammi and Ronnie’s paradise. She wants his opinion on whether she should forgive the girls and hang with them. “She’s always asking me what to do,” complains Ronnie. “She’s 23. She’s a woman. Should it be this complicated?”

Pauly D is not committed to Rocio, the somewhat girlfriend. She should run. Probably has.

Next up, Sister Wives!

Teen Mom ... Too Much Too Soon

Farrah

The DNA match between Sophia and her aunt was more than 99 percent … so it's confirmed that Derek is Sophia's father. Farrah tells Cassy (the aunt), and I’ve got to say, I am feeling it for Farrah. I was sad for her. I think her tears are real, and she’s struggling with missing Derek and all the other issues that go with being a teen mom. Of all the teen moms, I do feel for her the most, and I do think she is trying to be a good mom. She’s slowly becoming my favorite.

Because Sophia now has a “confirmed” daddy, she will get $236 per month in Social Security benefits. That will buy diapers, says Farrah’s mom. Again, not too helpful or supportive.

Farrah and her mom go to counseling. I’m not really getting Farrah’s mom … she brings up the fact that Farrah had originally wanted an abortion. Then Farrah is quick to point out how happy she is to have Sophia. I think her mom’s comment was a low blow. Then, Farrah talks about having a baby and grieving the loss of Derek. Mom again points out that they were broke up and it’s hard for her to have compassion when he hurt Farrah. I understand that a little. However, the counselor points out that she needs to have compassion for Farrah. Exactly.

Amber

Oh sweet, sweet Amber is going on a date and looking for a “nice guy.” When you see Leah with Amber in this episode, the poor little thing has a piece of fruit (the whole peach mind you) and is trying to eat it. Lazy, worthless Amber doesn’t even cut it up for her. Just hands her the giant peach and wishes her luck. Amber is calling Gary and demanding he pick Leah up so she can go on her date. Poor Gary is actually out buying balloons and flowers for Amber. Sucker!

Amber goes on her date with Chris. She knows how to pick him. Chris is on “work release” because he got into some kind of trouble. Great. He tells Amber that meeting her was the best day of his life. Now, I’m feeling sorry for him. Even she can’t believe it. Chris claims he “loves” Leah and says Amber is “perfect.” OK, this guy is ridiculous is so many ways.

Catelynn & Tyler

The happy twosome are planning a visit to see Carly, the child they gave up for adoption. They are wondering if Carly will recognize them? Probably not, they decide. Sometimes, they seem so young ...

Catelynn’s mom, April, is baaaaack. And scary as hell. She has a gift for Carly and Catelynn thanks her but before long, April is cussing and mad at Catelynn again. She doesn’t understand why Catelynn gave up her baby. Believe me, the rest of us do. Catelynn tries to explain. Mom doesn’t care. Mom says, “don’t tell me how to be a mom when you can’t be one.”

Catelynn still desperately wants her mom’s approval and hugs her and tells her she loves her. Mom returns the favor.

Tyler and Catelynn actually see the problem and want April to “have some compassion.” They know that their parents should be proud of them and respect their decision. These two are smarter than either of their parents and, I think, will be responsible, loving parents some day.

Maci

Boring Maci and her tired boyfriend Kyle break up. Did anyone ever really think this relationship was for real? Does anyone care?

Prior to the break up, Kyle (kind of being a jerk) tells Maci she needs a hobby. She tells him she has a hobby … being a mom. He also tells her the relationship is too much “weight” and he feels she is in his pocket 24/7. Relationship over. “Too much too soon?” asks Maci and he agrees.

Poor Maci. She wants a boyfriend, but she’s better off without this lazy one.  She decides to stay in Nashville even though she feels alone there. However, she doesn’t seem sad about the break up.

 Next  Up ... Jersey Shore!

Sister Wives ... Wives on the Move

Kody and Robyn are engaged! They have sealed the deal. How exciting for the other three wives! Although the wives are thrilled, are the older daughters? One jokes that Robyn could be her sister. Another comments that Robyn “seems more like a friend.” Obviously, the kids are struggling with a new wife and mommy and courtin’ and the whole bit. Three moms were plenty!

And then, one daughter says,  “If my husband was with another woman, I’d be ripping her hair out.” It’s very interesting how the kids accept the three wives as a normal situation, but the new wife just changes everything.

And back to the wives, Christine is upset that Kody sealed the relationship with Robyn with a kiss. She didn’t kiss him until they were at the altar because she didn’t want to kiss a “married man.” What? Wait a minute. It’s fine to marry him, share him, have intimate relations with him, and have babies with him but NO WAY would she kiss him. He's married for crying out loud! That’s just going too far!

Also, Christine says that Kody is going to see Robyn "too much." And Meri wonders when she will get the attention that Robyn is getting. And, surprisingly, Meri admits that this plural relationship sometimes gets to her, but she stays because she loves Kody and because of her daughter.

In other news, Christine goes to the doctor as she is getting close to delivery time. She has an ultrasound, and it looks like all is well.

One of the daughters, Madison I believe, says she is OK with polygamy, but she doesn’t want it for herself. I do appreciate the fact that this family is not forcing their lifestyle on their children.

Robyn moves to be closer to the family … but she’s not in the house yet because they aren’t married. And, by the way, never really will be … During the move, seems like Meri is doing all the work and actually makes fun of Kody. He takes it OK.

Just a side note: Robyn can’t talk without crying. It’s annoying. Just say it girl!

Next Up: Teen Mom!

Sister Wives ... Courting a Fourth Wife

In this episode, Kody goes a courtin. He keeps saying “courting” like he’s from 1820. And, honestly, sometimes when I listen to these people, I feel like I am in some kind of weird time warp, and I’ve gone to a place where the women have no common sense and the inability to reason and the men have golden locks and soup for brains.

Now that Kody is in a full-court press to get Robyn into the fold, he goes to visit quite often (I’m guessing) at her home five hours away. (I now know they live in Utah … surprise, surprise …  and he must make the trip.) He’s trying to get to know her three kids, and on each trip, he takes members of his family along to get to know her. On this trip, it’s fortunate that he chose two of his older girls to come along because they can babysit her kids while they go out! How handy is that.

Before Kody leaves, one of the wives — maybe Janelle — comments that Kody is busy making sure “all our needs our met.” OK then. I don’t even want to know.

Kody says that although the wives would be comfortable with another wife, they are not so comfortable with a girlfriend. That makes sense.

The current wives all “just love” Robyn. They are happy that she’s choosing to come to a family with three wives.  Meri says, “the more the merrier.” They have all, supposedly, worked through the issues, says Kody, and they have watched him “fall in love with someone else.”

Despite the “issues” being worked out, Robyn says she doesn’t want to hurt anyone. Kody, who seems to almost enjoy this, says, “There is no way around it.”

The first three wives all concede to feeling some jealousy, and then call Robyn the “trophy wife.” Christine admits feeling like she has “lost her best friend” when Kody spends so much time courting Robyn.

Christine also says that Kody is so wonderful that “he deserves a cute girl.” OK, I can’t even take her seriously; does she feel they should reward him? Is Robyn the prize? Is she saying the rest of the bunch aren’t cute girls?

Then, Kody says at one point (prior to finalizing the deal with Robyn I guess) that he broke down at one point and started sobbing in Christine’s room. He left her room in tears, and Christine told him he was “lovesick” for Robyn. And, as we all know, the only way to cure being lovesick is take another wife! I didn’t even make that up. Kody actually said it.

Robyn, the sweet, pretty one by everyone’s accounts (and a big crybaby by my account … seriously, the woman can’t say two words without breaking down), says that this lifestyle makes you a better person and it smoothes the rough spots. She credits Kody’s current wives with making him the great man he is today. Robyn, who is divorced, grew up in a polygamous family. However, she and her husband never added a wife … too much trouble in the first marriage maybe? I wonder what THAT HUSBAND thinks about all this?

Then Robyn quietly admits that Kody is her soulmate. Well, he’s her soulmate 25 percent of the time with 25 percent of his soul. Just my calculation. She knows he is her soulmate because it she had made a list of what she needed in a man and he’s the one. I’d like to see that list. Isn’t it amazing that she just happened to put “three wives and 12 kids” on it?

Anyway, on their date, Kody and Robyn hold hands and he gives her an engagement ring that one of his kids made. I’m guessing it’s not the real one.

Later, Kody says, “I’m in love with Robyn. I’m in love with all of my wives.” Oh yes, it’s so obvious.

Next up, Sister Wives again.

Jersey Shore ... Gone, Baby, Gone

We continue where we left off last week with Mike calling Angelina a “ho” and Angelina striking back … literally. Mike tells the camera that Angelina should leave and he’s “the glue” that holds “the family” together.

Then, Mike and Pauly D ask Angelina’s new guy friend to leave so they can attend to “family business.” The Godfathers have spoken, so the guy leaves.

Angelina says she feels “broken down.” She cries and is upset. Mike, who maybe has a heart, asks the other guys if he “should forgive this chick.” I sincerely believe he didn’t want to see her cry.

Pauly D gives us his take. She hit HIM before. Housemates can yell and point fingers, but they can’t hit each other. Ummmm … was I the only one who witnessed Jenni attack Sammi? Or Jenni attack Mike?

Pauly D also says that girls can’t bring random guys home. Not girls. That’s what guys do. Well, that’s what these guys do. They once again mention that Angelina is a “dirty girl.”

Let me say this: Angelina can’t get along with anyone. I used to blame them, but if you are the only one that can’t get along with anyone … you are the problem. Also, she must be FILTHY because everyone keeps mentioning it.

Anyway, Godfather wannabe Mike can’t get over that Angelina hit him, so after telling the guys, he tells Jenni. Jenni — if you remember — hit Mike last season … so she feels a little sorry for Angelina. She tries to have a talk with Angelina, but Angelina is spoiled and can’t keep her mouth shut. Nothing works with this girl.

Then it is my least favorite thing, T-shirt Time, as the group gets ready to party. Samantha, the girl Mike met the night before and now has been invited to a sleepover with Mike, comes over and they sweetly pick out her nightclothes before they leave for the club. Samantha says, “the less clothes the better” as Mike searches to find her a shirt and shorts.

They go to “Klutch” where Angelina finds her steady or her friend or whatever … Jose. Mike and Samantha are dancing, but Mike can’t help but talk to and flirt with other girls.  Samantha gets cranky with one girl and tells her “keep her hands off my man.” Poor Samantha. At least he can be her man for one night.  Finally, everyone goes home and Mike takes the poor, poor girl … who is about to be a chalk mark on the board … to the “smush” room and next thing you know, we hear her moaning. He brought home a screamer. “Mike’s finally found a girl as crazy as him,” says Vinny.

BY THE WAY, WHERE IS SNOOKI?

Angelina and Jose sleep in Mike’s bed because her girlfriend is sleeping in her bed. Why in the world would Angelina think that it would be OK with Mike when he basically hates her anyway?

Next morning, Mike gets up and sends Samantha home after breakfast. “Mike’s done with her, “ says Vinny.

Mike is not happy with Angelina. It’s like she wants to fight with him. It’s like she is asking for it. I don’t understand her. So … after she sleeps in his bed … they get in another fight. She tells him to “drop it” and “shut up.” She had said thank you to him, but she never apologized. Mike wants it, but Angelina isn’t going to give it to him (the apology).  He tells her she has a big rear end (my words, not his), and she tells him he has an “ugly face.” Then he pulled her hair, and she cried and told the teacher. (OK, I made that last sentence up.)

Really, this girl does not know when to shut up. I found myself screaming at the TV for her to just SHUT UP. Mike says that Angelina “just doesn’t want to be a part of this family.” There we go with the Godfather references again. Mike, you guys are not a family. You have lived together for eight weeks for two summers. You do not love each other. You are captives on a bizarre reality show. That’s it.

Finally, Snooki is back. She’s made a checklist of the type of guy she wants to find … a tan guido juicehead who has her personality and style. She says she is NOT going to match.com again. OK then. The checklist includes things like he likes to “frolic, likes pickles and likes to sleep in.” Those were my favorites. Every girl wants a guy that frolics and eats pickles.

Later, Mike offers Angelina an olive branch, which she promptly stomps on. “We’re going to dinner at 10 and the club at 12. Do you want to come?” he says. “I’ll decide what I want to do,” says Angelina and then goes on and on with the same nonsense.

Angelina goes to bed and stays, just begging for someone to invite her out with them again. No one does. They go to the club and she packs her bags to leave.

At first I think this is a joke … there is NO WAY she will leave again. Now, I know why there is a new addition to Jersey Shore next season. I just can’t believe she is so stupid.

Anyway, she doesn’t just leave after she packs her bags. She waits for the gang to come home. Obviously, she wants someone to beg her to stay. Again, no one does.

But then, there has to be a fight. Snooki and Angelina get into it because Snooki brings home one of Angelina’s old flames. Snooki attacks and there is a lot of hair pulling. Jenni pulls them apart, as Mike moves the coffee table out of the way. They are not done, and the fight continues as Angelina pounces. (By the way, Angelina just keeps talking while they are fighting … the girl NEVER shuts up.)

As Angelina prepares to leave … finally … she calls everyone “ fake” and says, “I can’t stand any of yous.” That’s not a typo.

I’m glad she’s gone. I’m tired of blogging about that girl.

Next up, Sister Wives.

Teen Mom ... Lashing Out

Catelynn & Tyler

The 12-month pics of Carly are sent to Catelynn and Tyler … and they both picked the same photo  (one with her … without her adoptive parents … and wearing a little hat) as their favorite. The adoption counselor asks them both about their grades and they react confidently.

Then Catelynn says something disturbing. She’s says something about not being able to get to school in the past because her mom was drunk? Did I hear that right? She says she’s learned that she has to call a friend or find another way to school if her mother can’t give her a ride. Just another reason for me to find her mother disgusting. Catelynn says one of the reasons they chose adoption for Carly is so she could finish high school.

She and Tyler go to a community college and visit  with a counselor. Catelynn wants to be an ultrasound tech, and Tyler wants to be an EMT, and then maybe a psychologist. They are very proud of themselves because they will be the first persons in their families to graduate high school, and go to college. How sad is that.

Then reality check. They don’t have enough credits to graduate from high school. And, Catelynn’s grades are not as good as she has been letting on … she tells her mom she doesn’t want to be a “loser” and not graduate from high school. Her mom says “thanks.” At least her mom knows what she is …

I will give these two kids some credit. They don’t pout; they attend graduation and support their friends and talk about how they will be there some day. You gotta like these two.

Maci

Maci is living in Nashville near her boyfriend and complains that Ryan hasn’t tried to see Bentley. It’s summer time, so school is out, so basically she is hanging out and seeing her boyfriend all the time. I’m wondering where the money is coming from?

She tries to cook rice and, I guess, chicken. Maci is complaining that the rice is not cooked but then keeps eating it and feeding it to her kid. OK then. She says she wants to keep Bentley with her forever, but she also doesn’t want to keep him from his father.  She isn’t happy about it. She wants to parent with him, and doesn’t want to go to court.

So … she takes Bentley to see Ryan. They actually, shockingly, come to an agreement about the custody arrangement. I think this means they will use a mediator instead of a courtroom. Maci says something about acting like adults … finally.

Everything about Maci is boring me …

Farrah

She bought a new car. She’s moving in her parents’ rental house. But the most important thing is that she is meeting with her lawyer to see if somehow she can force her deceased boyfriend’s family to submit to DNA testing. She tells her lawyer she has called her three times with no results. However, he calls and  … lo and behold … Kassy (deceased boyfriend’s sister) agrees right away. However,  she wants to meet Sophia. Farrah agrees.

Farrah has a new job as a waitress. (I’m just throwing that in here.) She tells her parents that Kassy has agreed to DNA testing. For some reason, her mom doesn’t trust this family. I wish I knew the history here.

Later, Farrah is studying for culinary school. It’s hard to study with a baby because she “gets into everything.”  Kassy calls and tells Farrah she has some things for Sophia including some pictures.

They meet, and it seems like a friendly reunion. Kassy thinks Sophia looks just like Derek. Kassy tells Farrah that Derek wanted to be there for her “even if the baby wasn’t his.” What’s up with that? Again, I wish I knew the history here.

Later, Farrah calls her mom. She cries. She misses Derek. Her mom tells her she will find someone else. Farrah feels she took Derek for granted, and now he is gone. She’s sad, and I’m sad for her.

Amber

Someone I am not sad for is the violent, foul-mouthed and repulsive Amber. Her vile behavior knows no bounds, and now … she actually became so enraged and unrestrained that the show kept flashing messages about  “if you are the victim of domestic violence” and giving us a Web site to visit at loveisrespect.org. This girl is crazy.

Anyway, let’s start at the beginning …  Gary and Amber are living together but not together. Amber and a friend take Leah and her friend’s child to a park. Amber is taking some “self-defense” classes, which is completely ironic since Gary is the one who needs the classes to defend himself against this loon, so she is showing her friend her moves while their children are left to swing alone. Amber, the mother of the year, doesn’t care.

Then, we see Gary’s mom keeping Leah. She buys Leah some crib sheets and then takes Leah and the sheets back to Amber. Leah’s mad because she looks … maybe cause she is … a bad mom because Leah’s bed has no crib sheets. However, she still doesn’t put crib sheets on Leah’s bed. No one can make you look like something  you already are.

Leah climbs on a table. So Amber puts her in bed, without crib sheets, to cry. Gary comes home. Amber gets bleeped every 10 seconds so I don’t know what she is saying, but Gary leaves with Amber. He says he is keeping her for awhile. Amber asks how long (not that I think she cares). He says “forever.” He leaves with Leah. Sometime during this event he tells her he will call Child Protective Services on her.

She immediately calls some friends to come over and console her. I’m surprised she has any friends. Maybe they just want some camera time.

Later, she’s packing Gary’s stuff. He comes over. Bleep (Amber). Amber is having a fit. She punches him in the head. Calls him fat and other names. Kicks him. Bleep. Bleep. Bleep. (Here’s where the “domestic violence” message kicks in …) He doesn’t hit her or even barely try to defense himself. He just leaves with his things.

Gary is the better parent. No question. I’ve said it before. There’s not even a question now. Amber is an immature, vicious, out-of-control and just downright mean high school dropout. She needs to go counseling to learn how to control her anger,  how to parent and how to just be a decent person.

Sister Wives ... Meet Kody & The Wives

I’ve been waiting anxiously for this show. Obviously, it’s been done before … an inside look at polygamist families … the women with their long hair in their long dresses with no make-up and lots and lots of kids. The older, ridiculous and demanding men who use religion as the reason to take on wife after wife after wife.

Let me say something right now. There’s no polygamist that is actually, legally married to all these wives. They may be legally married to the first one, but the rest are just living with them in the eyes of the law.

But now here comes the “Sister Wives.” No long dresses here. Make-up everywhere. They wear jeans! They just want their children to be happy and don’t really care if they live the “lifestyle.” They want to raise moral, ethical, contributing members of society. They want their children to marry who they love. What? A modern-thinking polygamist family?

Kody Brown is the long-haired patriarch of this brood, the father of 12, the advertising salesman, the man with the three wives … Meri (wife No. 1 and mother of one), Janelle (wife No. 2 and mother of six) and Christine (wife No. 3 and mother of five with one on the way). Surprisingly, he married them all many years ago and they’ve been living happily in polygamy ever after for many years … but change is going to come in the form of a cute little brunette. More on that later.

During the show, it’s annoying that Kody and the wives and the kids always talk to the camera rather than the camera just following them around. I’m hoping that will change. Kody is full of wit and wisdom on living the “lifestyle.” For example, “love should be multiplied, not divided.” What? That doesn’t even make sense.

And, another one of his funnies — “I’m a repeat offender.”

Conventional wisdom in polygamy world is that if you have one successful marriage, then you will be good with two, then four. Hmmm … In the real world, that’s called divorce and remarriage. It doesn’t mean you are good at marriage, it means you are tired of the first one. Anyway, according to Kody, he couldn’t help all these marriages. He fell in love once, then in fell in love again, then in fell in love AGAIN.

Kody and the wives spend much of the show explaining polygamy to us outsiders. The kids are raised together and the whole group eats together about three times a week. Each wife has her own apartment in the house so — in a way —they live separate lives. Christine raises the kids while Meri and Janelle work. Janelle doesn’t want to be a housewife; she likes her job. Meri is going back to school … studying psychology. Kody, Meri and Christine all come from polygamous families so now I get it.  This is why this all makes sense to them. It’s the way they were raised. Janelle, although Mormon, was not raised in a polygamous household. They consider themselves fundamentalist Mormons. The kids all go to a private school with other kids from polygamous families. I’m not sure where this family lives, but Kody was raised in Wyoming.

So, how does Kody divide his time between the wives? He keeps a schedule! So that every wife gets their fair share of him. That’s sweet.

The wives want the public to know that these are three separate relationships, three separate marriages. Nothing funny going on here. “We don’t go weird,” says Meri. Really? I would disagree.

Each wife says she wants to have a good relationship with the other wives. According to Meri, if you think of it like … “What can I do to help you? What can you do to help me? … the lifestyle works.

Kody tells us that Meri was a friend to both wife No. 2 and wife No. 3 before he fell in love with them. He calls her “the bait.” I bet she liked that. Janelle softens the blow by saying that Meri was in charge of “mergers and acquisitions.”

Christine, the stay-at-home wife, doesn’t have a toaster because “more people die from toasters than sharks.” Even Kody shakes his head at this one. Christine tells us that three people died from shark attacks last year while 257 people were, I guess, electrocuted by a toaster.

So what do I think of all of this? Surprisingly, I think I could be a friend to Janelle. We are both working moms and prefer that lifestyle rather than being a stay-at-home mom. Meri seems accepting of it all; it’s all she’s ever known. I don’t get Christine … she wanted to be a third wife as it “sounded the easiest.” Whatever. I don’t dislike them, and I don’t feel sorry for them. This is the life they chose. Do they seem happy? I think so.

That’s how I feel about them as people. What do I think of this lifestyle choice? I don’t get it at all. I think you would have to have a screw loose to see this as a real marriage. In these "marriages," each wife is the other woman 67 percent of the time. In a real marriage, you are devoted to one person, you spend your life with that person, you share your secrets, you share every day  … you do not share him. The real true intimacy of a relationship does not exist in a plural "marriage." I do not believe you can be really, completely in love with your “husband” or “significant other” and be willing to share him (or her) with another person or two or 10. I just don’t believe it. That’s not love. It’s convenience. It’s compromise. It’s crazy. It’s not love.

Anyway, back to the show. If Kody is in love with these three wives, why is he not satisfied? Why is he still looking? A happy, satisfied, loving husband isn’t always looking for something new and better, something differint, someone else to fall in love with … it just doesn’t work that way. When you are in love, you are in love. You don’t need anyone else. Or maybe I just haven't met the right guy with three wives.

So, I don’t think Kody is in love with anyone … I think this is just the life he leads. He likes having three women. It is what was modeled for him. And, now, after all these years … he is a little bored. So … meet Robin … soon to be the newest wife of the “Sister Wives.” She’s a pretty, petite 30-year-old with long, brown hair and three children. And, Kody, is “in love” again.

More on “Sister Wives” next time.

Jersey Shore ... Dirty Pad

This is the dirty episode. Dirty girls. Dirty mouths. Dirty house. I feel a little dirty just watching.

Last time we saw Vinny getting stood up. We’re still there with sad little Vinny. Angelina and Jose plus Ronnie and Sammi go on a double date. Jose tells Ronnie he only told Angelina to “behave” because she was saying the same thing to him … telling him not to get with other girls. “Jose’s getting played like a piano,” says Ronnie. Sammi says Angelina says one thing, does another. She’s right and more proof of that is coming!

Because Vinny’s date never showed, and the flowers he bought her are turning brown, thoughtful Ronnie leaves a few dollars on Vinny’s bed and gives them to Sammi. Not cool. No one thinks it’s cool except Ronnie who thinks he just did a good deed and got a great deal.

Just recently, we know that Angelina "hooked up" with Vinny. Now she invites Jose to the “smush” room, but she tells the camera they didn’t "smush" because  … well, it’s her time of the month. Jose should thank his lucky stars.

I now know, because they show the audience, that there is a scoreboard in the house and they are keeping track of who is bring home a guest and how often. Angelina tells everyone she "hooked up" with Jose (although she didn’t) … I’m not understanding why she thinks this is a good idea. However, her decision-making has proven to me that her elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top. The guys think Angelina is a tramp. Everyone realizes it is a double standard because of the way they all behave, but no one cares. She still gets the label. However, Snooki has been making some bad decisions of her own, but no one seems to notice.

While at work, Pauly D’s new girlfriend, Rocio, comes to visit. He likes her because “she’s not a whore, not a stalker.” And, he would definitely know the first one. He doesn’t want to rush things and turn her into a stalker. He says he has a tendency to do that to girls.

Back at the house, Angelina is on the phone and eating cereal. What is her obsession with cereal? Every time they show this girl, she’s eating cereal. Anyway, she was supposed to wake Snooki up to go get a manicure and pedicure with Jenni. She doesn’t do it because the cereal was calling, I guess. Jenni has to get a pedi and mani to “look good for her boyfriend.” Now I know her secret!

Tom, Jenni’s boyfriend, comes to visit. Within two seconds, they are in a fight because she a phone number in her “book” that he asked her not to take with her to Miami. He threatens to leave. For once, Jenni remains calm and the boyfriend stays.

That evening, the guys are getting ready to go out and it’s “T-shirt time.” They go to a place called Dream. Snooki is having no luck here. She’s talking to this guy in a suit, and he asks her the unfortunate question if there has ever been a time when she “just wanted to kill something?” “Right now,” says Snooki. Perfect.

Mike  has found a girl he thinks is “smokin’ hot” … so much that he can’t even wait to take her home. And, sadly, she doesn’t care. He takes her to the bathroom to “do his thing” but, thankfully, security stops them. Then, while trying to get her out of the bar, he loses her in the crowd. I’m thinking she’s dodged a bullet. It’s her lucky night.

At the bar, Angelina is seen dancing with a guy Snooki has previously “hooked up with.” Pauly D questions her about it because he doesn’t want her to “get an infection.” These guys can’t stand Angelina because she is way too much like them.

Ronnie and Sammi. Remember them? They are in love again, confessing it. Just letting you know.

The guys are alone for once, but Snooki hops in bed with Vinny and Tom and Jenni are together.

Next morning, off to GTL (gym, tan and laundry) for the guys.

Back at the house, Angelina wakes up to a filthy house. Dishes in the sink, trash everywhere. She starts to clean up, but the phone rings and she’s distracted. She and her friend Gina make plans to go the beach and off they go. Housework forgotten.

The guys return. First thing, they see a note on the door that says something like the following … Samantha … I met you last night … and here’s my number. Pauly D and Vinny think the note is FOR Sammi, but the note is from a Samantha, which happens to be the girl Mike “lost” at the club. She narrowly escapes and then the next day she is SOBER and she STILL seeks him out knowing he only wants one thing from her? I’m sure she’ll get exactly what she deserves.

Mike translates the note for us. “Here’s my number. Please call me so we can bang real quick.” Oh Lord, help us all.

Mike gives Samantha a call … “Hey baby.” “Do you have plans tonight?” She says no. “Now you have plans with me.” Gives her the details, which include coming to their house about 11 p.m., going to the club and then having a “sleepover.”  “Miss you.”

Seriously? Sammi tells him, “You creep me out” after hearing that phone call. It was creepy. And, just plain silly.  Do girls really find this guy attractive? Believable? Sane? I think Mike is a “lucky” man because Mike is a “famous” man. Girls really don’t fall for this crap, right?

I will give Mike credit for one thing; he took a look around the house and started cleaning up. Took out the trash. Washed down the counters. Swept the floor. He left the dishes for Angelina. Then, I’m sorry to say, he headed for the bathroom. He found something disgusting on the floor … decided it was Angelina’s and put in under her pillow (after showing it to everyone first).

Angelina comes home with her friend, Gina, and a new guy she met at the beach. This should be fun. They find the disgusting thing in her bed. She knows Mike put it there because he likes to "prank" her.

When the guys come in, Mike says to Angelina that she needs to do the dishes, but she tells him that she already did her share by “taking out the garbages.” OK, seems like a lie to me but whatever.  They get in to a fight and Mike calls her, among other things, a “dirty little hamster” and “the dirtiest girl I have ever met” and I think he might know about this one. She calls him “Popeye on crack.” That was funny. Her friends are telling her to chill. She’s losing it, and gets up and smacks Mike.

Wow. More next time.

(One more thing, Angelina … quit touching your hair!! It’s so annoying.)

(And one more thing, I hope I have events in order on this blog ... I got distracted from all the "dirty.")

Teen Mom ... Trial and Error

Catelynn & Tyler

Catelynn's mom has been out of town (thank God), and now Catelynn, rather than throwing a party or acting a fool like a good teenager, is cleaning up the house before her mom returns so her mother might, hopefully, be happy with Catelynn for once.

Mom doesn't seem to care much about the clean house or the stories about Carly. She just looks angry (and tired and maybe hungover) when Catelynn and Tyler go on and on about Carly's love of strawberries and spaghetti and whatever. She does not comment.

Catelynn and Tyler give up. They talk about how they are making Carly a scrapbook.

For some reason, Tyler's dad (April's boyfriend or husband or whatever ... so Catelynn's stepdad or whatever) violated the court order not to contact April (this is Catelynn's mom if you are keeping up) and now is back in jail.

Catelynn and her mom talk to an attorney who wants $1,500 for his services. They don't have the money. So there you have it. April is rude to the attorney. This woman has no manners, no class, no nothing. She is embarrassing.

Catelynn tells Tyler the story and he reminisces that his dad has been in jail during all the important events of his life. Tyler has no sympathy and says that his dad got himself in this situation, he can get himself out. Good for Tyler.

Maci

She's gonna move no matter what. She's determined to take Bentley and live near her boyfriend. In this episode, Maci and new boyfriend Kyle are declaring their love for one another. I can't figure out how long they have known each other? I've lost track. How long have they been together? Doesn't seem like long ... but you can't tell.

Maci tells Ryan she's moving and basically where he can stick it ... Ryan doesn't like it ... so you know fireworks are coming in future episodes. Ryan accuses her of taking Bentley away from his family and of thinking of no one but herself.

She moves anyway. We see Kyle putting Bentley's crib together. How sweet. I'm not sure what Maci wants, but Ryan is Bentley's father ... Not Kyle as much as she wants him to be.

Farrah

Money woes again. The scam that was pulled on her has really hurt. She is moving into her mom's rental house. Decides to get money advice from dad, and he tells her that Sophia deserves Social Security benefits from her deceased father. I think that's right and fair.

Farrah talks to the attorney and decides to pursue this .. she gets her and Sophia "DNA tested" and expects her deceased boyfriend's family to do the same to prove paternity. I guess they agreed originally, but no one shows up to the DNA testing place. Farrah is rightfully upset.

She needs money. She's looking for help. I feel sorry for her in a way.

Amber

Lovely, sweet Amber and the chunk of burning love Gary. Oh yes, my favorite TV couple. Oh wait, they broke up again. Oh wait, they are just living together. Oh wait, he loves her. And wait, she wants to hit him. I love the Merry-Go-Round relationship!

So, Gary tried to live with his mom. She won't let him because he needs to be with his family, he fights with his brother ... whatever. He decides to ask Amber if he can stay there until he finds his own place. This guy is a glutton for punishment.

Amber is studying for her GED as Leah walks around in her shoes. This baby is precious ...

Gary shows up and Amber reluctantly agrees to let him stay there BUT THEY ARE NOT BACK TOGETHER. They get in a fight after Gary finds a knife laying around with Amber's leftover food. He's afraid Leah could have found it. Amber, sweet as ever, gets bleeped as this is somehow his fault that she is such a slob.

Gary's looking for a place and doesn't want to share any details with Amber including who he might be living with ... that's top secret info. He tells her is taking Leah with him. Amber kicks him out again (after threatening to hit him) for keeping his possible roommate situation from her ... and Gary takes Leah with him this time.

Gary visits with a friend and tells the friend he wants to work things out with Amber; he wants to be with his family. His friend tells him that Amber doesn't love him and he should probably lose her. His friend has no love for Amber ... gee, that's so hard to understand.

Gary goes back to Amber again. She lets him stay out of "pity" she says. He says "thank you." She tells him to putt Leah to bed. He does it. OMG ... he is pathetic. She is mean.

OK, Amber shouldn't be a mom. She is too immature and selfish and ridiculous. Gary shouldn't be a dad because he is too immature and lazy and ridiculous. However, they are parents so they need to grow up and act like adults. I have to admit that I felt sorry for Gary, and I stick by my last blog ... he is probably the better parent of the two. How sad is that.

Next up ... Sister Wives or Jersey Shore. I gotta do a better job of keeping up blogging. This is hard work!

Why I Blog About Reality TV

People may wonder why I choose to blog about reality TV. Is my own life that boring? Good one. Maybe. Should I look at myself first before judging others? I do. I have plenty of faults. What’s the interest?

I just feel like it. I do what I want. I spent many years NOT doing what I wanted, and now I will do what I want no matter what anyone thinks. I choose not to blog about my kids or my family or my friends because they are not public figures, and they have not opened themselves up to that. They wouldn’t like it. I respect that. I tried it with my kids … it didn’t work.

Here’s the deal. I enjoy reality TV shows. They are funny and entertaining and sometimes sad and always shocking. They entertain me. I like to be entertained. So, I like to watch them and I like to write … so there it is. I don’t write about “Jersey Shore” because I want to be like Snooki or because I hate Snooki or because I am judging Snooki (or the rest of them) …I write about her because she shocks me. She is someone I do not understand … I find her interesting and fascinating. It’s like she is from another planet … I do not know anyone like her and never have. Obviously, I don’t know her ... I just know what I see on TV.

I was never a “Teen Mom,” but I find their stories interesting. However, I do not want to glorify teen pregnancy … I do not think they have it easy. I hope they don’t think that. I’ve written about “Bridezillas” because they put on a show, and “Hoarding: Buried Alive” because they are sad … and I will start blogging about “Sister Wives” … a show about a polygamous family on TLC. Again, I know I will find this brood shocking and will want to blog about them.

I will comment on what I think about the people and the antics I see on certain reality TV shows. Bottom line.

Having said that … if you are on a reality TV show … be ready for what that means. The lack of privacy, the criticism, the rudeness of couch critics like myself. If you go on TV and put yourself out there, you better expect that people will comment about you, about your looks, about your life, about your choices. You basically asked for it. You may not like what I say. I may not always be right, and I may not always see the whole picture because of the editing or whatever … but I will comment on what I see. However, it’s just my opinion. You don’t have to agree.

Coming Soon ... New Look for My Blog

It helps to have friends.

Obviously, I need help with this blog. It looks horrible. I'd tell more people about and show it off if it looked nice. It will soon because I have a friend who is going to help. It's going to look awesome because he is amazing ...!!! You'll see soon enough.

FiascoSauce is going be beautiful!!!!

Teen Mom ... Hello and Goodbye

Catelynn & Tyler

I know this show is supposed to be about each "mom" but I always include Tyler in the title because this seems to about him as much as it is about Catelynn. They are both in the same situation. In this episode, the witch that Catelynn calls mom is heading to Vegas. Good riddance. She leaves her young son, Nick, with Catelynn and Tyler until the grandfather shows up to pick him up. I am assuming that Nick is both Catelynn and Tyler's brother because he is probably the child of Butch and April. And April is Catelynn's mom and Butch is Tyler's dad. It's all a little too hillbilly here.

Anyway, Catelynn and Tyler are preparing for the birthday of Carly, the child they gave up for adoption. They buy the 1-year-old a necklace and send it to her through the adoption agency. Again, they buy a 1-year-old a necklace. It just shows how clueless they really are.

Poor Catelynn cries for the lost relationship with her mother. She should just forget it. It is not worth it. Her mother is a lost cause.

On Carly's birthday, they call her parents, Teresa and Brandon, who seem very nice and give them an update on how much Carly enjoyed her cake and other bits of information. It's interesting how much they seem to miss Carly. Is this for the show? Is this for real? They seem genuine. It's sad that of all these teen moms, they might have actually tried the hardest had they kept their baby. However, they made the right choice.

Farrah

Farrah has money woes.

So, the mother she seems to hate offers to let her live in a rental house across the street from them. She's also helping with the baby. Farrah hates her parents so much that she can't decide what to do. However, she also needs her parents for financial support and babysitting help.

She's talking to her hairstylist and friend about all this ... looking for advice ... and talking about what a great mother she is (as she ignores her baby who is throwing hair products all over the floor) and she does realize that to take her parents up on their offer of the rental house will be giving up some of her privacy. She seems willing to do it.

On her birthday, her parents try to have a little party and take Farrah and Sophia to the zoo. They get in some sort of argument on the way there. Farrah is disrespectful. The car busts a hose. Somehow even that is her parents' fault. Farrah always is upset with them.

Later, she gives her mother some "rules" if she is going to rent from them. Her mother asks her what it would take to make her happy. Farrah responds that she should know.

There's something going on here, and I don't get it. I'm missing something.

Maci

Maci does love Bentley, and she has a point about Ryan. He finished high school and did his thing while she gave up everything for Bentley. She has always been there. Now, he wants more time with Bentley. She feels like it's not fair. She love Bentley and wants him with her. She also wants to move and be near her boyfriend. She doesn't care what Ryan or anyone else wants. I understand her point that she deserves some happiness and deserves to have what she wants. Just because she has a child shouldn't stop her from living her life.

I understand Ryan. He's grown up a little. He does want to be a father now. It will be harder for him if Bentley lives farther away. He does have rights.

It's difficult.

Maci gets an apartment. Pays the deposit. Signs the lease. THEN .. she tells her parents. Her dad doesn't like it. Her mom wonders about the seriousness of the relationship between Kyle and Maci. I'm with her. They don't like any of it, but it's a done deal.

Amber

And now, my favorite teen parents, Amber and Gary. They are the reason that they should force all teens to take birth control. Poor, poor little Leah. She is precious, and doesn't deserve these two idiots as parents.

First off, they are taking dance lessons because they want to dance at their wedding that's not been set but is taking place in two, no four, no 20 months. Depends on who you ask. Gary is dancing. Please Lord no. Make him stop. Amber says Gary dances like a caveman. No, Amber, a caveman would be an upgrade for you.

Then, we find out that Gary has a job! He stocks shelves! We also get to see Gary without a shirt and find out that he also has boobs! Thanks MTV! While he is getting ready for work, he wakes up Leah which really makes Amber mad ... and no one likes a mad Amber. He leaves Leah crying in her bed. And, Amber screaming in her bed. Fun times.

Then, throughout the day, we get to watch Amber screaming at poor little Leah because she is a tired baby. She calls her a brat. She blames Gary.

When Gary comes home, she blames Gary for Leah's "lack of discipline." She's a baby. She thinks Leah should be "smacked." Gary does not want to smack her. Amber starts cussing and the bleeping starts. Gary tells her to quit cussing. She says that also is his fault.

OMG. Without a doubt, Amber is the worst mom of the bunch. I'm actually starting to like Gary now. And, I may regret this later, I believe ... he's the better parent of the two. There, I wrote it.

Gary leaves the house and leaves Leah there. He tells his mom he wishes he had not left Leah. I wish he had not left Leah either.

More Jersey Shore next time.

Jersey Shore ... All In The Family

After the hook up between Angelina and Vinny, Snooki calls Angelina a whore. Snooki. Who just picked up some random guy at the club. Snooki. Who also has slept with Vinny. Snooki. Who kinda defines the word.

For some reason, everyone in the house also now thinks Angelina is a whore. The guys have no trouble with Vinny's behavior. No trouble with their own behavior. I guess picking up random girls every other night that they don't know and don't care about is OK. I'm not excusing Angelina's behavior, but they can't point fingers.

Anyway, Mike points out that Angelina has just proven the "whore equation." When you treat a girl nice (Jose), buy her things, take her out, she will end up treating you bad. She will end up acting like a whore with some other dude that doesn't care about her and treats her bad. I think that is what he meant. I think he is saying that women are whores and prefer to be treated as such. Thanks Mike. Mike calls Angelina a "hypocritical whore" for talking dirt about Vinny and then hooking up with him. Vinny is forgiven, of course. Everyone thinks Angelina HAS to tell Jose what happened. I think Snooki and Jenni should write Jose a note.

It just so happens that the day after Angelina and Vinny do the deed, Vinny's family is coming to visit AND it is Jose's birthday. It does seem kind of weird and awkward that Angelina is introducing Jose to Vinny's family.

Vinny's family is there. They have a big Italian meal cooked by Vinny's mom. Lots of courses. Breaks between courses. There's this weird Uncle there who talks funny.

After dinner, it's time for volleyball in the hot tub. Everyone knows that the hot tub is an appropriate place for volleyball. Jenni, for the first time, gets in the hot tub. She obviously wants to give the old men a thrill. And, even Vinny admits, they look like super models to these guys.

During the hot tub volleyball game, Angelina hits the ball and it accidentally hits Snooki in the face. Snooki causes drama cause Angelina, of course, has amazing accuracy with a volleyball and did it on purpose. Angelina can't do nothing right.

Then, we're back clubbing at Tantra! Pauly D and Mike pick up a couple of girls. The girl that Mike picks up was the same girl that Vinny was trying to pick up ... so Mike teaches him a lesson. Take that Vinny. Mike gets the tramp. Angelina also picks up a new guy ... Alex!

Now, it doesn't work out so good for Pauly D and Mike because the girls go home, get in bed with them, start foolin' around in the same room (I can not understand this AT ALL) ... and then the girls have a change of heart. They have boyfriends! They shouldn't be doing this! They leave. They are finally sobering up.

But Mike and Pauly D still want girls to come over. By this time, it's 6:30 a.m. They both make numerous phone calls looking for company. Pauly D finds a willing participant. Unbelievable. He wants her to bring a friend for Mike. However, she shows up empty handed. This skank and Pauly D hop in bed and Mike makes a sandwich and grabs a "front row seat for a slam session." A threesome once removed.

Wow.

Anyway, next night. Everyone's out again. Mike, is turning into a sissy like Vinny, tells Jose that if Angelina doesn't tell him something, he will. Angelina fesses up to Jose then that she and Vinny hooked up. Jose says he doesn't want to be played. Too late.

I'm sorry, but there are a bunch of little tattletale girls in this house. The only man in this house in Angelina.

At Tantra, Vinny thinks he's in love. Another classy girl this time because she's a dancer there! Ramona. He actually wants to take her out on a date ... something these guys rarely do. Pauly D also meets a girl at the Club that he actually wants to get to know. He wants to date her and "wife her up." Doesn't want to just smush. Good for her. Her name is Rosio or Rosie or something.

They ask the girls out and Vinny is very excited. He is soooo bad at asking girls out. Sounds like a complete idiot on the phone. Pauly D actually acts like he's done this before. The guys go and get haircuts, new clothes and even flowers for their double date. Then, Vinny's girl cancels. No reason. Just does. He's upset, but then he calls her later and begs ... literally begs ... her to reconsider. She does. Game on.

Pauly D's date shows up ... but Vinny's is a no show. He gets stood up by the dancer Ramona. She's the smartest person I have seen on this show.


Favorite Lines .... This one from Vinny: "I would treat some girls like my mother." Really?
This one from Mike: "Angelina is the Staten Island Ferry. Everyone gets a free ride."

Favorite New Phrase: "Wife her up." That's when they want to treat a girl real nice.

Goodness. I'm looking forward to blogging about the wholesome goodness of Gary from Teen Mom. I feel icky right now.

Jersey Shore ... Sleeping With The Enemy

The fight continues between Sammi and Jenni. I gotta admit after seeing THIS episode and reliving the beginning of the fight that ... Vinny is an instigating little sissy. Just saying.

Anyway, Jenni admits she wrote the note telling Sammi all about Ronnie's bad behavior. During the fight, Jenni gets the first knockdown. Looks like she breaks a nail or two on Sammi's nose. Sammi gets a right cross to Jenni's head. There's some massive hair pulling. Vinny, Angelina and Ronnie try to break up the fight. After the fight is broken up, Jenni throws something at Sammi.

Then, Ronnie and Vinny get into it. I would be afraid if I was Vinny. Then, Vinny, starts blaming it all on Angelina. Somehow, everything is Angelina's fault.

(By the way, there's some unknown suspected ho hanging around the background all this time.)

Then, Snooki accuses Angelina of being there when they wrote the note and of telling them what to put in the note. Now, she wasn't there. I don't remember her telling them what to put in the note although she might have given them the information for the note. There's a little bit of a difference to me.

While Ronnie is making a sandwich, war continues to break out among the girls. I just want to say SHUT UP SNOOKI. Snooki seems to be mad because Sammi still loves Ronnie. Well, she does.

(Never mind about the suspected ho, I just remembered Mike's sister is in town.)

Jenni and Snooki go outside to cool off and for some reason, Jenni comes back in the house. Sammi is laughing at her. So is Ronnie. So, Jenni reacts the only way she knows how and starts throwing punches and plates. Sammi throws the plate back at her.

Jenni and Snooki decide that Sammi just looks stupid for staying with Ronnie and sticking with Angelina. They look like rocket scientists for the brilliant note idea.
Sammi is pretty proud of her first fight.

The next morning, there are hair extensions, nails and tuna fish everywhere. The place is a mess. Jenni, Ronnie and Sammi are supposed to go to work. Ronnie and Sammi go, but Jenni calls in to tell her boss that can't work because she broke a nail. Really? Even Sammi can't believe it. I can't believe it. At least make up a better excuse. I was afraid of Jenni because she acts so mean and bitchy and tough. Now I know that breaking a nail brings her to full stop. I'm not afraid anymore.

That afternoon, Vinny, Mike and Angelina have to work and Angelina's new semi, kinda maybe boyfriend dude stops by and brings her a present ... a Fossil watch. When Angelina is showing off the watch to the guys later, they absolutely think that poor Jose is getting played. He's buying her presents and isn't getting to "hit that." Pauly D can't believe it. Ronnie calls Jose "a pro." They are all pretty impressed with the watch thing. They can't believe how Angelina is holding out.

It looks like the note has not slowed down Ronnie and Sammi. They seem closer that ever. Going on dates. Smushing. (I know what the means now.) After all the drama, everyone even goes out to play pool. Even Snooki and "The Beast" as Sammi calls Jenni show up. At this point, Sammi does believe that Angelina gave the other girls information for the note. I say whatever. So does Sammi.

Later, Angelina and Vinny get into a fight AGAIN. During this scene, there's a lot of bleeping going on. However, Angelina says she hates him and she's going basically going to ruin him in Staten Island. He calls her ugly, some other names, says she's fat, and gives her the lovely name of "Staten Island Dump."

Then, the group goes clubbing again at Tantra. Vinny picks up what he describes as a "really classy girl." She works at Hooters. Takes her home.

Snooki picks up some guy named Dennis. Takes him home. When they get there, the guy wants to make tacos and Snooki wants to cuddle. It seems like the poor guy is doing anything to avoid the alone time with her.

This is all very oh-so-disgusting to me. They do not know these people. They do not care about these people. If you were watching this, would you really want to date Snooki or Vinny or Mike or Pauly D? They are disease-magnets.

Another night, another club. Jose tells Angelina to "behave" and she responds with a sarcastic "OK, Daddy." The boy is a little slow and doesn't seem to get it and then he says, "I like it when you call me Daddy." WHAT?!? OK, freak. Lose him Angelina. The watch ain't worth it.

While the rest of the gang go out, Snooki and Jenni stay in. Snooki wants to invite Dennis over again so she can "get it in." I'm a little lost here again, but I THINK I know what that means. They have to disinfect the "community smush room" so Snooki can enjoy it with her new man. Dennis comes over and brings a "man grenade" for Jenni. Jenni is having none of it, and this dude is dismissed quickly. He was a little strange looking.

Out at the club, the dueling duo of Angelina and Vinny are drinking, and then because drinking makes you forget who you HATE, they hook up. On the ride home, the are smooching in the back seat and Pauly D tells the driver to pull over so Vinny can buy her a Fossil watch. Nice.

Favorite Line This Week comes from Snook Dog: "I'm not white. I'm tan. I put that on some job applications."

Another Reason to Dislike Vinny: When Sammi and Ronnie come home from a date, he's asking Sammi "Are you mad at me?" This guy is a girl.

Teen Mom ... Senior Prom

Amber

It’s Amber’s birthday so lovely, lovely Gary made breakfast … looking handsome in his wife-beater no less. Gary offers Amber an even better present and offers to babysit so she can go out with her friends and “dance.” The real gift is time away from him.

Later, as she’s getting ready to go and he’s off to pick up the birthday cake, Gary’s sweet little friend calls him a “bitch” for babysitting his OWN KID and tells him not to watch Leah. And, since Gary is definitely his own man, he stands up to Amber and tells her to go find a babysitter. He ain’t doing it. Gary proves once again he is a big fat loser jerk.

Amber screams into the phone that he should get lost. We can only hope. But no. He comes home with the cake. All’s forgiven. They have a stupid party. She does get to go dancing with her friends. What does she see in this guy?

Farrah

The county prosecutor tells Farrah to “give and take” when it comes to her mom. Farrah is still not talking to her mom, but it looks like Farrah does need her help. We see her leaving her baby, Sophia, alone on the countertop. We see Farrah taking advantage of her friend’s offers to babysit.

Farrah does invite her mom to her therapy session. Her mother is clinging to the baby. Mom says she wants Farrah to be happy, but Farrah sits with her arms crossed and is very closed to her mom. Farrah says she wants to be closer to her mom but acts another way. She’s not sure what she wants. Even the therapist is losing patience with Farrah.

Farrah decides to meet her mom for some coffee. They make some small talk. Mom offers to watch Sophia to help Farrah out. Farrah needs the help and accepts the offer. Thank goodness.


Maci

Ryan, Bentley’s real father, not her boyfriend who she wants to make Bentley’s father, now wants more time with Bentley. He’s gotten wind that Maci may want to move. Bentley actually seems to enjoy the time with his dad and cries a little when he leaves him. Ryan is going to take her to court to keep her from moving and get more time with Bentley. Maci is upset. Is she upset because she wants more time with Bentley? Or because she can’t move to be near her boyfriend?

We’ll see.

Catelynn & Tyler

Does Catelynn’s mom know she is on camera? Is this woman really this mean? This stupid? It’s hard to imagine. While trying on prom dresses, April (Catelynn’s devilish mom) tells Catelynn that she doesn’t like the red one. So what. Mom, ever supportive, gets mad for no reason simply because Catelynn does like it. I guess Catelynn is not allowed to have an opinion. Mom leaves the store. Catelynn continues to shop with her friend. She obviously feels bad because her mother left.

When she goes to the car, she immediately tells her mom she is sorry and her mom politely tells her to get in and shut up. She then tells her and her friend that they are “ignorant bitches” and they are “rude” and “don’t ask my opinion if you don’t want it.” Catelynn should take her up on that. There’s only one person here who is ignorant and rude and bitchy.

April then calls Catelynn “Miss Perfect” and “a bitch.” This woman has problems. Someone should call child social services on her. She’s downright abusive to Catelynn.

Her friend has probably hit the problem right on the money. She thinks April is jealous of Catelynn. Catelynn has a life. She’s happy. She did the right thing by her own baby. It’s a sad thing to see a mother so unhappy about her child making good choices.

April is mean and angry and ugly and hateful. Catelynn is too nice and too forgiving. Unless they are editing something out that I’m not seeing, this is not a good situation for Catelynn.

Catelynn goes to prom. Her mom shows up to take a few pictures. She and Tyler get named King & Queen. OK then.

Next … back to the Jersey Shore.