Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Bridezillas - Brittany and Kim

Kim,25, is marrying her longtime neighbor and now fiance, Jeremiah, 26. They, literally, grew up across the street from each other. They've been dating for 10 years, and they have a 3-year-old daughter. They admit it was "hate at first sight," but then Kim's cousin expressed an interest in Jeremiah, so Kim decided she wanted him for herself and developed a "crazy psycho stalker crush." She says you know it's love when you "hate someone so much that you can't live without him." I've always said that.

Kim handles stress about as well as any three year old. She cries, screams, yells and throws things. In her first test with stress ... get ready ... a cancelled tanning appointment ... Kim begins her tirade against her family and fiance to help her find a new salon. Forget picking up a phone book and doing it herself, Kim just wants to whine and complain. And, during this incident, we get our first taste of her parents. And they are sour. The mom has a mouth on her ... so we discover quickly where Kim gets her attitude. Her mother, none too attractive and just maybe a little overweight, has the nerve to criticize Kim's appearance by pointing out a tiny zit on her face. Kim, who admits she loves her face, isn't too happy about the criticism. And, honestly, I don't blame her. Be supportive and caring MOM. That's what moms do MOM.

Later, at a family dinner, mom points at herself and tells Kim that "this is you in 10 years." Dad chimes in about how he used to be able to fit mom's butt in one hand, and now he can't even do it with two. "Soup" gold right there. Kim's fiance, jokingly, says Kim was none too pretty when he started dating her so he wasn't in it for looks. He quickly tells her that she is "beautiful now," but the damage is done. Kim, who is sick anyway, leaves for the car. The night was no fun for her.

We find out that Kim wanted a black wedding dress, but her mom wouldn't have it (can't blame her there) so, instead, she decides to wear a black dress at the wedding reception and shows it off to her mom. Her mom tells her she will embarrass them and look like a jackass. Kim responds that they are all a bunch of jackasses anyway. OK, I will agree with her there.

Kim, overwhelmed by the stress of gluing ribbons onto glasses for her reception, wants Jeremiah to help with this chore. Jeremiah, who has been working in the hot sun on a roof all day, wants to play an Xbox game with his little girl. First she throws something at him. As Jeremiah continues to refuse, Kim threatens to ... then does ... slam the Xbox into the ground.

More on Kim next week.

Brittany, the Buddhist wannabe who likes the "idea of it" has all sorts of pet names for her fiance, Michael. Each time she refers to him or wants his attention,she calls him an "idiot" or a "moron." Her returns the favor by calling her "honey." According to Brittany, this guy can't do anything right ... he forgot the keys, he's a terrible driver, he doesn't talk loud enough ... the list of things Brittany doesn't like about him is endless. Again, why does she want to marry him? Actually, he is a sweetheart and deserves better.

At her bridesmaids' dress fitting, Brittany sells her dress from her first wedding to one of her bridesmaids, who is getting married also. The dress doesn't even remotely fit the girl, so I'm not sure why she is buying it. The bridesmaids' dresses are fitting OK, except one is the wrong color. I couldn't really understand what happened there, possibly because of the all drinking going on at the fitting.

Right before the actual wedding, Brittany kicks two bridesmaids (Liz and Ingrid) out of the wedding. One (Ingrid) because of something she said or did (or didn't say or do) to the wedding planner and one (Liz) because she supposedly has a thing for Michael. Then Ingrid is back in. Whew! That was close! Liz, however, has no such luck. Brittany replaces her with her wedding planner that she barely knows and found online. That makes for happy memories ... when your bridesmaid is a complete stranger. Poor Liz is waiting in her car in the parking lot hoping for a last-minute reprieve that never comes.

The wedding is a small, intimate affair with personal vows. Brittany is choked up and can't read hers, so weirdly, the minister reads them to Michael.

Thank goodness it's finally over, but now without last minute drama and firetrucks and who knows what. I was tuned out at this point, and very tired of the mean-spirited Brittany. I wish Michael the best.

More Bridezillas next week.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Jersey Shore "Crime and Punishment"

The gang is still agog with the fact that Deena pulled a double “robbery” with one half of the oh-so-not-nice twins, Erika. First she stole the girl from Mike, then she later stole the same girl from Vinny. This girl, Erika that is, has no preference on who or when or what she is with … she’s just downright skanky. However, I’m not sure Deena seems any better.

Because the boys (not men, boys) are still in awe over Deena’s robbery; they decide to play a joke on Deena and put her bed in the living room. She literally has a meltdown over it. Jenni, ever the sensible one again, tries to play “roommate matchmaker” and wants everyone to kiss and make up. The guys are on board so it’s done.

And, we’re still going on and on about Snooki’s supposed hook up with Mike. She tells her boyfriend about what Mike is saying and denies to Jionni that it’s true. Her boyfriend takes her side (he seems like a good guy), so Snooki hopes this is all behind her.

Oh, and then there is Ronnie and Sammi. It only takes one night out at the club, with a few drinks down, for Sammi to resort to her old jealous tricks. She sees a girl dancing in the vicinity of Ronnie and just about loses it.  He’s had enough. She does not trust him. I don’t think she ever will. The break up is on, or is it? I can’t tell. They go home, and in their drunken idiocy, Sammi tells Ronnie something that Mike said about Ronnie bringing five girls home when they were in Miami or something like that. Who cares? Mike is always flapping his gums and starting crap. Just ignore him people!

But Sammi can’t ignore it. And, apparently, Ronnie can’t either and starts a fight with Mike … but more on that next week.

In other segments:
• Pauly D, Deena and Snooki have their first day working at the pizza place. Pauly D seems to be enjoying himself while the girls are trying to sneak wine in the back. Busted.
• Jenni hears Ronnie talking on the phone to his “friend” Hannah. They actually consider writing another note.
• Mike and Pauly D bring home two girls from the club, Yab. Thankfully, these girls sobered up and made their parents proud by leaving the hornet’s nest before they became one of many.

Funniest quotes:
Pauly D. pointing our Ronnie to one of the girl visitors: “That’s what happens when you take steroids.”

Mike talking about Deena’s robbery: “Deena has a criminal record. It will be on her record for seven years.”

More  next week.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Bridezillas - Suzy & Nicole; Suzy & Brittany

Sorry, it's been two weeks again so I have to do double duty on my recaps. Personal stuff you know. Now down to business.

Nicole and her reluctant fiance, Mike, are from Loma Linda, Calif. Nicole is a whiner who is in need of attention. The good news is that she is on Bridezillas, and the bad news is that no one who actually really knows her wants to pay any attention to her. Take note that out of the 18 invitees to her bachelorette party, only five showed. And, of those five, no one wanted to stay out late and party with the girl. Her maid of honor, Ashley, is a brave soul and let this silly diva know that ... yes, it's her. Nothing else.

To get what she wants, Ashley whines and cries and whines some more. Case in point. She didn't have enough money to pay for the wedding hall or something so her coordinator forks out the bucks when Ashley whines, acts like a baby, cries fake tears, and whines some more.

The worst thing about Nicole ... she needs her back waxed. That's "Soup Gold" right there. She even wonders why she did it .. it hurt and Mike doesn't seem to mind! After the back waxing, Mike is called to pick her up, and he is tired of her crap. He starts questioning if he even wants to get married. He is sick of her nagging and whining and tells her so. Her response? The price you pay for marrying her. She definitely knows how to entice her man.

At the wedding, Mike shows up, but this guy looks scared to death. He says he feels sick. Mike, I got news for you, you shouldn't marry someone unless you really, really want to do it. You seem reluctant at best.

The marriage happens, and Nicole actually looks pretty when she smiles. Finally. Mike, still wide-eyed from what just happened ... says ...  "I'm trying to do the least amount of thinking as possible." Well, Mike, you and  Nicole will now have something in common.

Brittany, 26, and her sadly sweet fiance, Michael, also 26, are from Dayton, Ohio. As far as I can tell, she doesn't work but collects pennies and quarters and buys a lottery ticket once in awhile. She calls herself a charity, and actually forces Michael (and I guess herself) to donate plasma twice a week for extra cash. Michael works in construction, and works to make Brittany happy. He's got the toughest job in the world. To get the party started, Brittany actually claims that being with Michael "feels like I'm in prison." That's sweet.

Brittany knows her Cs... crying, cussing and constant calling on her stupid cell phone. She's constantly calling and hanging up on Michael who deserves sainthood. He apologizes when he's done nothing wrong. Cleans up her mess when he has a broken finger. Excuses her behavior when she's a drunken mess. Let's her make fun of his sweet vows. (Hey, he tried.) And, listens to her as she claims the signs are not aligned and maybe they should not get married. That would be the best thing ever to happen to Michael.

Three weeks of Suzy is almost worse that three weeks of Tricia if that is possible. She's bold and brash and is constantly threatening death or pain or some sort of maiming to anyone and everyone. Just stay out of her way or face the wrath.

Suzy endears us to her right away ... again ... when she decides to wax her legs (why do all Bridezillas think we want to see them get waxed? What is that?). The truth is that she does need a good waxing (thanks WeTV), and when Suzy discovers that waxing actually hurts ... she resorts to plucking. Yes, plucking. One leg hair at a time. Buy a freakin' razor girl!

Suzy is a bride who doesn't want to be one ... she doesn't want a wedding and now claims she's not sure if she wants a marriage. As they romantically go to get their marriage certificate, with a punch or two and plenty of cussing, Suzy claims she would rather be getting a death certificate for Taylor (that's her fiance).

When Suzy is done fighting with Taylor, she moves on to her mom ... and further angers mom by mocking everything she says. Her mother doesn't help matters by resorting to name calling. Really, mom? Be the mom.

At the rehearsal dinner, the minister goes through the motions and then says ... "Kiss your bride" or as sweet Suzy says "Get you some." Nice. At the rehearsal dinner, Suzy pours ice water on best man Corey because she's sure she's not going to like his wedding toast. Turns out ... later ... it wasn't that bad.

When they are trying to finalize the seating chart, Suzy storms out (not really sure why; it was just too much to take in) and threatens to walk home and then actually starts walking. She can't believe no one is following her. Finally, here comes mom who yells and screams and threatens her so she will get in the car. She does. Where does this girl get her attitude?

Thank goodness, the wedding day arrives and our weeks of Suzy are almost over. Surprisingly, she and Taylor are smiling at the wedding. Their homemade vows are sweet on his part and sour on hers. She can't even be nice to him then. Just when you think she can't go any lower, she punches him in the gut with her heartfelt words of "I may not like you all the time."

By the way, one last thing, Suzy's wedding theme was "Ef it."

Next week, more Bridezillas.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Big Easy Brides 2011 (episode 1)

Big Easy Brides is a new show on WeTV, so I'm going to give blogging about it a try. I'm going to change my blogging habits, slowly but surely, to "relationship or wedding" shows. That's why there will be no more Jersey Shore after this year. I will continue to blog about Bridezillas, and that update will be tomorrow with Suzy, Nicole and Brittany. I'm behind in my Bridezillas blogging because of personal reasons, but I will be getting back on track this week.

Big Easy Brides is about the French Quarter Wedding Chapel in New Orleans, and their motto is "anything goes." It's open 24 hours a day and they do weddings on the fly as well as planned nuptials. It's owned by Tony Talavera (who performs the ceremonies) and his wife, Lou Ann. The staff includes the sarcastic Maria, the wedding planner; sweet Dana, the musician; the incomprehensible Gino, security guard; and the know-it-all new girl, Mia, the photographer.

The show proclaims that New Orleans is the "romance capital of the world" ... Really? Really? I was thinking Paris, but what do I know.

In this episode, we get to know (kinda) four couples. First there is Luke and Veronica, who seem very much in love and want a Small Family Wedding at the chapel. What we don't know at first is that Luke's mom is going to try to bust up the wedding because Luke and Veronica are second cousins. Ewwww! The wedding goes on, so I guess it's legal.

Then there is Damian and Biba who want a Pub Crawl Wedding. Basically, they get married en route through a bunch of bars in New Orleans. The lovely evening ends with the bride drunk and throwing up and the groom getting in a fight.

And, in the middle of the night for an immediate 2 a.m. wedding, storms in Jasmine and Michael. Jasmine really wants this to happen. However, when the wedding planner wants to take Michael in the back and help him get ready, Jasmine shows her jealous streak. And, then to make sure drunken Jasmine has a little hissy fit, Maria flirts with Michael and gets him to show off his muscles (he's a personal trainer, of course). The whole drunken group ends up getting thrown out, but I am going to blame this one on Maria.

And, finally, the wedding to end all weddings. The Trailer Park Wedding to be held, you guessed it, outside the couple's trailer in their trailer park. It's exactly like it sounds. As sweet as Selena and Bobby are, this wedding is almost indescribable. Tell me which of these things below would have given away the theme.

1. Bride has bad teeth (sorry, it's true) and is wearing a pink dress from a second-hand store. She also has on flip-flops.
2. The groom doesn't have a suit or even a nice pair of khakis.
3. The wedding is outside with lawn chairs. None of which match. Some do recline though.
4. There are two grown men sitting in kiddie pools.
5. The male guests are wearing shorts, carrying beer cans, and are really, really sweaty.
6. Female guests are actually smoking during the ceremony.
7. When the trailer park owner decides there will be no alcohol at the wedding, the 20 guests dwindle to three. One of which is just standing there. He's not even enjoying a lawn chair! I'm not sure he even knows where he is ...
8. There is a raunchy boob cake.
9. There are beer cans tied to the back of the couple's four wheeler.
10. The bride's closest friends seem to be the staff of the wedding chapel.

This show is interesting, and I may continue to blog about it. I'm not crazy about some of the staff members, but the couples could be interesting and the owners seem a little quirky. And, I always like that.

Jersey Shore 2011 - Episode 3 ... Twinning

This episode with the not-really-kids-anymore Jersey Shore gang was full of the "ick" factor. Let's recap all the trashy moments.

1. Deena tries to pick up or talk to or give her number to an Italian "Lean Cuisine" waiter at a restaurant. She's halfway successful because he shows up later at the bar where she and the rest of the gang are partying. She takes him home to cuddle, while Vinny and Pauly D try to give her some space, and the guy ends up sneaking out in the middle of the night. Running for his life.

2. After Mike (an episode back) tells Ronnie he has "hooked up" with Snooki while she was with her current boyfriend; Ronnie decides to pay him back for last season and tell Sammi and Jenni. It takes Jenni approximately five seconds to tell Snooki. Snooki denies it. Mike says it's true. I don't know. Or care. However, this is probably what will end her relationship with Jionni. Just guessing here.

3. Mike has a stalker, and it's twins. Brittany, the loose one, and Erica, supposedly the virgin. So, we see Erica go from hanging on her own sister to hugging on Mike to kissing Deena (yes, Deena). She actually ends up going home with Deena. However, Deena leaves the room for one minute, and Erica has moved on to Vinny, then back to Deena when she returns and then back to Vinny when Deena changes her mind. Every time I watch this stuff, all I can think about are the poor parents. What are they thinking? These girls are really, really sleazy. And, I'm  including Deena in that bunch.

4. Ronnie and Sammi are back together. Let the fireworks begin. And because of this hook up, Pauly D has the best line of the night ... "If you are thinking suicide over someone else's relationship, that's how bad it is."

More next week.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Jersey Shore 2011 - More Than Like A Friend

I'm officially bored with the Jersey Shore gang. Definitely my last season to blog about them. They aren't really interesting, and it's the same old crap week after week. Get drunk, fall down, act a fool, hook up with some pathetic fame-hungry girl ... or one of the girls in the house, eat, go to the gym, get a fake tan, and bore me to tears.

This past week, we find out they get to work in a pizzeria. OK. Then, we now know officially that Sammi and Ron still have a thing for each other, but they are fighting it. Harder for her than him. We know that Mike is, without a doubt, the sleaziest person in the house ... or maybe even alive. He picks up some girl, then tries to "get with" Snooki by sweet talking her about how much he cares about her like "more than like a friend" and how she is so special and blah blah blah. Is she really buying his baloney? I think he just wants to prove he can get her if he wants, and for an added bonus, he can ruin the relationship she has with the boy back home! Deena wants to be with Pauly D, and Pauly D wants as far away from her as possible. Who can blame him?

Jenni seems to be the only sane one left. She's loyal to her boyfriend, tries to make peace in the house, does her own thing, and seems the most normal one of all. Who would have thought? I don't have much to say about Vinnie except that he, along with Jenni, may be the only things good about this show.

More next week if I can stomach it.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Bachelor Pad 2011 — Season Premiere

This is the first time I’ve watched this show, so I haven’t blogged about it nor did I understand the rules until this episode. I watch (not sure I’m a fan) The Bachelor and The Bachelorette shows, so this seemed like a good “blog fit” for me.

However, you know Winston Churchill’s famous quote … “Those that fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” That could be about me … and watching anything with the word “bachelor” in it. I hated the season with Jake and Vienna (they are both fame hungry egomaniacs), and now I’m basically forced to watch them all over again on the Bachelor Pad. Same drama, same crap. I should have known.

Now about the show. Basically, it seems to pair up couples for contests (pick your poison), and then sends the winners on dates for possible love connections. The group also gets to vote off two contestants each week (guys vote off the girls, and girls vote off the guys). That’s how I understand it.

Here’s a few other things I learned about this year’s cast:
  1. Kasey and Vienna are a couple, considered the “power couple” on the show. We all know Vienna, and Kasey is the goofball that got the tattoo on Ali’s season. He is a sucker as well as a weirdo.
  2. Jackie hates Michelle.
  3. Gia hates Vienna.
  4. Vienna “still” hates Jake. I’m thinking there’s something else going on there.
  5. Erica hates work.
  6. Holly hates commitment.
  7. Blake (remember him from this past bachelorette?) calls Erica a “little thick” for him. I agree she’s thick in the head. But, does he think that this skinny girl is fat?
  8. Rated R Reality Star Justin is still a joke.
  9. And then there are the others: Graham, Alli, Michael, Ella, Kirk, Melissa, William and our sweet Ames. Ames barely speaks in this cast of misfits. Why is he here?
  10. And, BTW, Ames has made an early love connection with Jackie. All good, I guess.

The couples pair up for the first contest. The guys are in a harness and they literally have to hold on to their partner (suspended in mid air) as long as possible. Last couple hanging wins. The final two, it figures, are Jake and Jackie and Kasey and Vienna. I found myself cheering for Jake and Jackie. They win. Vienna acts like a big baby, blames Kasey, causes drama, whatever. She is using this guy, just like she used Jake to get her 15 minutes.

Jackie and Jake go on a date. As part of the date, they get to give a rose to someone at the house and “save” them from elimination. It was almost unbearable to watch Jake give the rose to Vienna … supposedly trying to make amends. I think they still have feelings for each other. I also think it was a stupid move. We’ll see if it comes back to haunt him.

The rest of the show (freakin’ whole hour; it was pure torture) is spent watching the players strategize about whom to vote off. Justin and Alli end up getting the most votes, and they have to leave. Justin acts really classy, refuses to say goodbye, steals Jake’s rose, typical stuff .. while Alli just goes away. We’ll forget about her soon enough.

I think, as a contestant on this show, you have to form alliances or really fly under the radar. If my radar theory is true; congratulations to Ames.

Next week, I will try to watch again.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Jersey Shore 2011 - Episode 1, Italia!

The Jersey shore misfits are back, and they are sharing their partying, fighting, ignorance and drinking with the rest of the world ... poor Italy.

For the first time (in a long time), everyone is getting along. The guys are good, meet up at Vinnie's house and fly and arrive together to their new temporary house Italy. The girls have a slumber party at Deena's house, before they (and their 75 suitcases), make the flight to Italy. It's a race to get to the house first so they can pick rooms and roommates. Because the girls arrive in Milan for some reason, the guys get to choose. The roommates end up being Ronnie and Mike; Vinnie, Pauly D and Deena, and Jenny, Sammi and Snooki.

Here are some things to remember as this season gets started. Jenny is still with Roger and she looks great, very thin and toned. Snooki has a boyfriend, too. I think his name Jionni. I don't even care because I think we can call him gone. Sammi and Ronnie are not together but seem to be getting along. Vinny has what he calls a beard. Not really a beard. And, surprise, Pauly D and Snooki are the only two that know how to drink a stick shift so they are the drivers this season. Snooki finally feels useful.

The first night they drink to their new surroundings, and take a walking tour of Florence. The second night they hit the club, and we see what is on Mike's mind (Snooki) and Deena's (Pauly D). Both Mike and Deena are forcing themselves onto unwilling companions, and you can see it. Pauly D looks pained when "forced" to kiss Deena. Doesn't look good for her. Mike is telling Ronnie that he and Snooki have had a "thing" during the off season, and it looks like it wants to take it to the cameras.We'll see what happens.

This season looks like fun.

Bridezillas: Tricia & Danni & Suzy

Because I am two weeks behind now on my Bridezillas updates, I am going to combine two episodes and try to make this short. It won't be sweet. I still have other shows to blog about!

As we catch up with Tricia, she and Jesse make amends (after the bachelorette party episode), by getting matching tattoos ... with the date of their wedding. At least it is small so it won't be hard to laser off after this marriage takes a nosedive. Yes, I'm predicting it now.

Tricia is color blind. She can't see that her hair is already two colors when she blames her hairdresser for her  two-toned roots. She can't see that her bouquet is white when it actually is white. She can't see, because of a drunken haze on her wedding day, that stealing flowers from a grave site (for her bridesmaids to carry) might be slightly inappropriate. And, she can't see that getting sloppy drunk on your wedding day might make you look like a fool. And, by the way, isn't she only 19?

At the end of the drunkfest-type wedding, Tricia announces that she and Jesse are "a disgusting, burpy, drunk couple." I agree.

Danni, the former beauty queen with attitude, is 26 and from Minneapolis. She is marrying Marlon, 28. She declares that people must call her "the most beautiful bride" when they speak to her and is also flabbergasted by the reality that nobody cares as much about her wedding day as she does. She has a list of rules a mile long that all her cronies must follow, and they do try to cater to her unreasonable demands.

Danni is trying to lose weight so she eats about 3 pounds of cake. She wants her brothers to support her on her wedding day so she gives them a nice long lecture. She doubles her wedding budget from $15,000 to $30,000. She makes her best gay guy friend attend her "waxing." She can cuss like a sailor (or a bridezilla). And, most importantly, she wants everyone to tell her she is pretty, skinny and just the best thing ever!

I will give Danni some credit. She was annoying as hell throughout the episode, but she actually looked appropriate and pretty in her wedding dress. (She is a former beauty queen and knows how to carry herself.) And, the vows between her and Marlon were sweet and sincere. She cried, and I think she is genuinely in love.

Suzy, 19, and her military man, Taylor, 20, are getting married in their home state of Texas. I think, unless it is an act, that Suzy is one of the worst bridezillas ever. She seems unstable even.

She doesn't want a wedding and is doing this for Taylor. She claims that people are afraid of her. I am. She cries when frustrated and hits when angry. She's like a 2-year-old in a 19-year-old's body. She is violent and spoiled. Sounds fun, huh?

Suzy and Taylor's best man and best friend, Corey, have no love for one another. She lectures the best man about the rules, and tells him that her husband-to-be will, undoubtedly, always choose her before him. I'm not so sure. Taylor is much more excited to see Corey than Suzy when he arrives in town from his military base for the wedding.

Here are the things that Suzy doesn't like: old people at her wedding, her father-in-law or pretty much anyone in Taylor's family, getting her hair cut, breaking a nail (she literally broke a nail on Taylor's face), or her mother. There's probably more.

One last thing about Suzy before we have to finish with her in the next episode. Her husband-to-be was supposed to buy her a plane ticket so she can join him on base after the wedding. He hasn't done so, and his excuses are pretty lame. Suzy's mom can't wait for her to go, and Taylor is acting like he wants her to stay. We'll see what happens. Please don't send her here.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

The Bachelorette — Episode 10 (I declare Ben the winner!)

Love or nothing. That’s what J.P. said he was going to experience on The Bachelorette. Ultimately, he got the girl and the love. Sweet Ben got nothing.

However, I am declaring Ben the winner. Now, he can actually find real love … not some TV two-month stunt love. Ben, ultimately, showed class and very little anger at Ashley. Hurt feelings, yes. He has been my favorite for the last several episodes and watching him on the final show just sealed the deal. Honesty, I think he got the better end of this deal, and he’ll see that as time goes by. Ashley is spoiled and needy.

Let’s recap a little. This was the show where Ben and J.P meet the parents, have a final date, pick the ring, and possibly propose. Unbelievably, Ashley actually got two proposals. They were both “smitten” and had declared their love for her. I am hoping Ben can be the next bachelor, but he’s probably too sweet and nice and noncontroversial. Bring on Bentley or Ryan P.!

J.P.’s visit with Ashley’s family didn’t go so well. The parents seemed to like him, but the sister was not into him. She didn’t think Ashley was herself around him and he didn’t bring out the “fun” Ashley. He was too grown-up, demure and serious. Makes me like him more. And, their final date didn’t seem to go so well either. Serious and boring.

ABC was setting me up! They thought I would believe that J.P. wasn’t the chosen one. Sorry ABC, you need better “leak” coverage. The spoilers were all right.

However, Ben’s visit with the family went exceedingly well. The whole family loved him. They thought he fit right in. The sister felt like he and Ashley were a great match. Then, the date … a sexy mud bath where they rubbed mud all over other, and in Ashley’s case, all over herself. I almost couldn’t watch. She literally made a lewd comment about Ben. She couldn’t keep her hands off of him. I’m wondering how J.P. felt watching that scene?

Ashley confessed it was a battle of her heart vs. her head. J.P. … Heart. Ben … Head. The heart should probably win each time, so I don’t blame her for her choice.

At the rose ceremony, Ashley looked “bridal” in her off-white dress. Both guys looked great. Ben shows up first, so we’re sure he’s headed home. Before Ashley can speak, and obviously before he noticed the look on her face, he gets down on one knee and proposes. YOU know this is not going to turn out good for him (thanks spoilers), and it’s heartbreaking to know what is coming next. He doesn’t say much except that he is very shocked and walks away (he SHOULD be shocked after the mud bath date … what guy wouldn’t think he was the one?).  Ashley chases him down and wants to tell him how great he is and on and on, and he tells her not to sugarcoat it. He just wants AWAY at that point. He gets away, never cries and handles it well. Ashley cries and, honesty, seems to feel bad. I will give her that.

After lots of kissing and handholding, J.P. had to know what was coming next. He declares his love again, and she declares hers, REO Speedwagon is back on, and he proposes. She accepts. All’s right on The Bachelorette.

On the after show, Ashley says she wants to live a humble life, and they are going to  live in New York (his hometown). I really hope they are happy together. That is sincere. I do believe everyone deserves a shot at love.

Next up, Bachelor Pad? Should I or shouldn’t I? I will watch one episode and see ..