Sunday, April 11, 2010

What do I owe my children?

How much do you really owe your kids? I know people who say they are done raising them at 18, and after that ... the kids are on their own. I know others who don't seem to ever be done with the "raising" and have children close to 30 that they still provide for (I'm talking financially and every other way).

I guess I am kind of in the middle. I want to help my kids through college ... undergraduate. I guess I feel if they want to continue on and on through grad school, they need to find their own way. Also, as a single mom with limited financial resources, I can only help so much with anything. I help my son with his college expenses and I will help my daughter as much as I can. I think they feel I owe them more ... I wish I had more to give. It's not their fault. Prior to my divorce, they never worried about money. I doubt I ever mentioned it very much. Now, it worries me so it worries them. It's no fun to worry about money.

So what do I really owe them? I love them, and I wish I could make their lives as easy as possible. However, at the same time, having a job and being responsible builds character. I think it makes you stronger. It makes you understand how hard it is to earn a dollar. Maybe I should quit thinking that I "owe" them something as it relates to money and concentrate on what I owe them as a parent ... love, attention, discipline and patience. That's probably better. I need to do a better job at "owing" them that.