Tuesday, May 29, 2012

The Bachelorette Emily Maynard (May 28, 2012)

I missed last week, but I don't think I really missed anything. You know what I mean. I don't even know who went home. I don't even care. Who would have I thought I would miss the days of Bentley, or Ames, or even ... God forbid ... Courtney ... but I do. This season has all the excitement of an insurance seminar. So far, a real snoozefest. But, let's recap last night anyway. Try to stay with me.

Emily had one-on-one dates with Chris and Arie. They both got entertained by country music stars, Chris by someone I don't know and Arie by Dolly Parton. Both got kisses and both got roses. I felt like Emily had some chemistry with both of them. I prefer Chris as Arie seems a little toooo smooth. He's a cool guy, but is he playing a part? Hard to tell. Emily is worried that Chris is too young. He's 25. She's 26. I really see her point. NO, I don't. His age is a "red flag" to her. The fact that they are both on this show is a "red flag" to me.

Emily claims guys like Arie are hard to find. Maybe. I don't trust any of their motives at this point. He says she has "1,000 percent exceeded my expectations." I wonder what his expectations were? Do they even know who they will be "dating" when they apply to be on the show? I don't think so.

Then, there is the group date which, as usual, includes a bunch of guys. Not Kalon. Get to that in a minute. They get to a park and she hands them a football, and they think it's a game. It's not. She's brought four of her friends to interview them and determine which of them is "worthy of being my husband."

By the way, Emily is making no bones about it. She is looking for a husband in this mess. A husband and a father for her daughter.

During the "interview process" ... looks like Doug, Tony, Jef and Sean come out on top. They definitely know how to talk to the "moms." After the interview, the producers bring out a crop of kids for the guys to entertain and they all do their best except Ryan, who decides to intervene in the "girl talk" between Emily and her friends. He makes the mistake of talking about how he would feel if Emily gained weight. "I would love you, but I wouldn't love on you." Bad move, Dude. Emily didn't like it either.

Pre-rose ceremony, there are some bad moves all around:

  • Tony cries for his kid. Emily decides he's really not the guy for her and, since he misses his kid so much, sends him home.
  • Alessandro tells Emily being with her and her daughter would be a "compromise" and she thinks it would be an "honor." He gets shown the door.
  • Kalon tells Emily his true feelings, and thus, shows his true colors by "interrupting" her and telling her to "let him finish." He was not happy to be excluded from all the dating. She says she likes "tall, skinny and funny" but not "tall, skinny and condescending." He's lucky to get to stick around. He will not last. He is strictly for entertainment purposes.
  • Emily makes out with Arie at the party. Not nice, Emily.

Party MC Steve does not get a rose and also gets sent home. He was weird anyway. Sean gets an early rose also along with Chris and Arie. Those three have staying power. Next week might get interesting with some drama with Chris and Doug and issues with Ryan.

One good thing about Emily. She dresses a little more demurely than previous bachelorettes ... so far. I may eat my words with that one. One bad thing about Emily. She is still kissing everyone. Come on.

More next week.


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