Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Jersey Shore ... Gone, Baby, Gone

We continue where we left off last week with Mike calling Angelina a “ho” and Angelina striking back … literally. Mike tells the camera that Angelina should leave and he’s “the glue” that holds “the family” together.

Then, Mike and Pauly D ask Angelina’s new guy friend to leave so they can attend to “family business.” The Godfathers have spoken, so the guy leaves.

Angelina says she feels “broken down.” She cries and is upset. Mike, who maybe has a heart, asks the other guys if he “should forgive this chick.” I sincerely believe he didn’t want to see her cry.

Pauly D gives us his take. She hit HIM before. Housemates can yell and point fingers, but they can’t hit each other. Ummmm … was I the only one who witnessed Jenni attack Sammi? Or Jenni attack Mike?

Pauly D also says that girls can’t bring random guys home. Not girls. That’s what guys do. Well, that’s what these guys do. They once again mention that Angelina is a “dirty girl.”

Let me say this: Angelina can’t get along with anyone. I used to blame them, but if you are the only one that can’t get along with anyone … you are the problem. Also, she must be FILTHY because everyone keeps mentioning it.

Anyway, Godfather wannabe Mike can’t get over that Angelina hit him, so after telling the guys, he tells Jenni. Jenni — if you remember — hit Mike last season … so she feels a little sorry for Angelina. She tries to have a talk with Angelina, but Angelina is spoiled and can’t keep her mouth shut. Nothing works with this girl.

Then it is my least favorite thing, T-shirt Time, as the group gets ready to party. Samantha, the girl Mike met the night before and now has been invited to a sleepover with Mike, comes over and they sweetly pick out her nightclothes before they leave for the club. Samantha says, “the less clothes the better” as Mike searches to find her a shirt and shorts.

They go to “Klutch” where Angelina finds her steady or her friend or whatever … Jose. Mike and Samantha are dancing, but Mike can’t help but talk to and flirt with other girls.  Samantha gets cranky with one girl and tells her “keep her hands off my man.” Poor Samantha. At least he can be her man for one night.  Finally, everyone goes home and Mike takes the poor, poor girl … who is about to be a chalk mark on the board … to the “smush” room and next thing you know, we hear her moaning. He brought home a screamer. “Mike’s finally found a girl as crazy as him,” says Vinny.


Angelina and Jose sleep in Mike’s bed because her girlfriend is sleeping in her bed. Why in the world would Angelina think that it would be OK with Mike when he basically hates her anyway?

Next morning, Mike gets up and sends Samantha home after breakfast. “Mike’s done with her, “ says Vinny.

Mike is not happy with Angelina. It’s like she wants to fight with him. It’s like she is asking for it. I don’t understand her. So … after she sleeps in his bed … they get in another fight. She tells him to “drop it” and “shut up.” She had said thank you to him, but she never apologized. Mike wants it, but Angelina isn’t going to give it to him (the apology).  He tells her she has a big rear end (my words, not his), and she tells him he has an “ugly face.” Then he pulled her hair, and she cried and told the teacher. (OK, I made that last sentence up.)

Really, this girl does not know when to shut up. I found myself screaming at the TV for her to just SHUT UP. Mike says that Angelina “just doesn’t want to be a part of this family.” There we go with the Godfather references again. Mike, you guys are not a family. You have lived together for eight weeks for two summers. You do not love each other. You are captives on a bizarre reality show. That’s it.

Finally, Snooki is back. She’s made a checklist of the type of guy she wants to find … a tan guido juicehead who has her personality and style. She says she is NOT going to match.com again. OK then. The checklist includes things like he likes to “frolic, likes pickles and likes to sleep in.” Those were my favorites. Every girl wants a guy that frolics and eats pickles.

Later, Mike offers Angelina an olive branch, which she promptly stomps on. “We’re going to dinner at 10 and the club at 12. Do you want to come?” he says. “I’ll decide what I want to do,” says Angelina and then goes on and on with the same nonsense.

Angelina goes to bed and stays, just begging for someone to invite her out with them again. No one does. They go to the club and she packs her bags to leave.

At first I think this is a joke … there is NO WAY she will leave again. Now, I know why there is a new addition to Jersey Shore next season. I just can’t believe she is so stupid.

Anyway, she doesn’t just leave after she packs her bags. She waits for the gang to come home. Obviously, she wants someone to beg her to stay. Again, no one does.

But then, there has to be a fight. Snooki and Angelina get into it because Snooki brings home one of Angelina’s old flames. Snooki attacks and there is a lot of hair pulling. Jenni pulls them apart, as Mike moves the coffee table out of the way. They are not done, and the fight continues as Angelina pounces. (By the way, Angelina just keeps talking while they are fighting … the girl NEVER shuts up.)

As Angelina prepares to leave … finally … she calls everyone “ fake” and says, “I can’t stand any of yous.” That’s not a typo.

I’m glad she’s gone. I’m tired of blogging about that girl.

Next up, Sister Wives.

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