Friday, February 24, 2012

The Bachelor, Episodes 7 and 8

Episode 7

We are in Belize.

I wasn't sure if I was watching "Fear Factor" or "The Bachelor" because in this episode, Ben was determined to make sure all the girls were scared out of their wits on the dates with him. Because that will prove true love. If you can conquer your fears for him, he will pick you. Not really. He's just making you think that.

First date. Lindzi gets to jump out of a helicopter for Ben. She's afraid of heights but so so what. They jump into the "blue hole."

Second date. Sweet Emily. She gets to dive into the ocean and catch her own dinner. Lobster.

Third date. Courtney. They climb a Mayan temple with a million stairs that are straight up and they are sweating buckets. And, Courtney starts talking. She's telling Ben every random thought that has ever crossed her mind including that she wasn't sure if she wants to take him home and then wants him to make her feel better about the relationship ... and it almost sounds like a threat? Does she understand the rules of the show? He makes the decisions here. You would think a normal guy wouldn't like that, and would not take kindly to her attitude. But Ben ain't no normal guy. He ignores the warnings signs again, and he tells Courtney he appreciates her honesty. "I want a woman who's got a little edge," says Ben. Most people don't call that an "edge" Ben.

Courtney is a female Bentley. The difference is that Ashley figured it out, and Ben isn't smart enough to do so. The whole time she is blowing smoke to Ben, he doesn't see it at all. While they are sitting on top of the temple, Ben claims he feels close to his father (who has passed on) and says his dad would be proud. The problem is that his dad is seeing things that Ben is not.

Courtney then tells the camera "Goodbye" as if speaking to the other girls. And, "I  hate you all." OK.

By the way, all three of these one-on-one dates were horrible. I would have wanted to go home if I were one of these girls. Climbing a temple, killing my own dinner, trying to conquer my fear of heights ... forget it.

And, then the group date. Kacie, Nicki and Rachel. They get to swim with sharks! Nicki and Kacie take it in stride while Rachel looks sick to her stomach. He caters to her the whole time, swimming with her, holding her hand, whatever. It doesn't help. At the end of the group date, Kacie gets the rose.

While they are all waiting for the rose ceremony, Courtney is saying things like ..."Ben's not the only guy in the world" and "he's not our only shot at love." I wonder what he thinks about that if she's "the one." The other girls seem to think he is. Anway, Rachel and Emily did not get a rose. Down to the Final Four and hometown dates.

Episode 8, Hometown Dates

This is going to short and sweet because I actually fell asleep. I was so bored. I am going to link you to my friend Matthew's blog because he did a long recap.

Ben went to Lindzi's home first. Parents with a long marriage. Nice family. Good visit.

Then to Kacie's hometown. I didn't think this went well. Her parents were very protective, and they let their feelings be known. They wanted him to let her down NOW if it wasn't going anywhere. They were very skeptical and rightly so. Smartest of the bunch. I think he listened.

Nicki's parents were divorced but seemed to get along fine. Again, a nice, boring family. She did make him go shopping for cowboy boots with her. That was strange.

And, finally, Courtney. She made him participate in a mock wedding and declared her love for him. He seemed open to all the ridiculousness.

Kacie didn't get a rose. She was very upset, and wondered what was wrong with her. Nothing dear. It's him, not you.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

The Bachelor, Episode 6

The remaining girls ... oh, and Ben ... are in Panama ... and there is one group date, the much-wanted one-on-one date, and the dreaded two-on-one date where one girl goes home.

As the show starts, Ben is reading from the standard script ..."there are women here I can see myself with for the rest of my life" and my personal favorite "love is in the air." Ouch. That one actually hurt.

Kacie B. gets the first date ... it's a one-on-one, her second and the girls are JEALOUS. I think Ben likes her. They are going to rough it. A helicopter and camera crew take them out into the middle of nowhere on some island (this is so stupid, it is almost unbearable). So, Ben, Kacie, the producers, the helicopter crew, the camera crew and whoever else are trying to make it alone. He tells her to bring three things. She wisely brings a stuffed monkey, a corkscrew (I needed the wine), and some candy. He brings a machete, some matches and some wire or rope or something else to hang himself. Anyway, they cut down coconuts, catch a fish, build a fire ... and head back to the resort in the helicopter. A fancy dinner, some talking and Kacie gets a rose. "From one to wonderful, today was fantastic," gushes Kacie.

On the group date goes Courtney, Jamie, Emily, Nicki, Lindzi and Casey S. He shows up in a canoe on the river (by the way it has a motor ... it's not like he was paddling the damn thing), but the girls go on and on about how manly he is as they head downstream) and they just happen to come upon a village full of women in beaded bikini tops and men in loin cloths (who want to share their clothing with the new arrivals). Shockingly, the beaded tops won't completely cover enhancements, but Courtney doesn't care and she lets it all hang out. And, Ben, playing the village fool, wears the loin cloth. The other girls show more modesty and keep their own tops. Courtney wins this round because Village Idiot Ben can't keep away from Courtney. He appreciates that she got caught up in the spirit of the moment and the village dancing and all that. By the way, Ben should keep his clothes on. He spent maybe NO percent of time working out and getting in shape compared to previous bachelors. He is not a hot-bodied bachelor. So the girls should let the fake panting about his body go ... it doesn't play real.

Despite Courtney's nakedness, Ben shows the love to Lindzi and she gets the group date rose. Courtney is not distracted by that and still issues a room invite for the evening to Ben. He doesn't take her up on it, and we get a view of Courtney alone and sad in her room talking about how she's always been mistreated by men. Hmmmm Wonder why?

On the two-on-one date, it's a weird salsa dancing exhibition between Ben, Blakeley and Rachel that's a little too creepy for my taste. And it gets even creepier when Blakeley gets Ben alone and pulls out a scrapbook she's been making of her life with Ben ... what it's like, what it could be like. OK, stalker ... you are now going home. And, she does. The rose goes to Rachel.

OK, let's talk about two other strange "events" of this show.

The producers discovered that Casey S. may still be in love with an ex-boyfriend, and may not really be "completely there" for Ben. She may be using Ben to get over this ex. Wait a minute. Who cares? Don't they all have ex-relationships in their lives? And, by the way, didn't Ben just recently propose to a girl named Ashley so maybe he's the one using the show to get over someone? Whatever. Ben was rude to her, and they sent her home abruptly. And, Chris Harrison, what a loser. I got news for everyone. No one is there to find love. No one does. It's a show. It's about fame, fortune and winning. Get over yourselves.

And, Emily, trying to be nice to Courtney, apologized to her and told her maybe she had misjudged her. Courtney, because Emily and EVERYONE is right about her, immediately didn't forgive her and said something rude and acted crazy. So there. Ben, you get what you deserve.

Finally, in the most awkward moment ever on The Bachelor ... we got to see Jamie act out her sixth-grade fantasy moment with Ben, a play-by-play on how-to-kiss-someone-you-are-not-really-attracted-to-with-10-cameras-in-your-face. She couldn't let well enough alone and leave the show with some class and dignity with no one talking about what a fool she made of herself ... no, she had to get down in the mud with everyone else. Even Ben couldn't take it, and had to stop her.

No rose for Jamie.

More next week. However, I just want to say one thing. It seems like with every bachelor or bachelorette, I like them with they are a CONTESTANT and then I can't stand them when they become the bachelor or bachelorette. It always happens. I'm scared because the next bachelorette is Emily Maynard, and I'm afraid we will see her true colors. They are all playing a part. Some are just better at it than others.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

The Bachelor 2012, Episode 5

Ben and his girls are in Puerto Rico, and as one of my fellow employees pointed out, it is reminiscent of the final scene in “Silence of the Lambs” and as another pointed out, “Maybe Ben will eat Courtney.”

Unfortunately, it almost seemed the other way around.

The first date goes to Nicki, and they spend a rain-soaked day wandering the streets, then buying new clothes, and then an evening unburdening themselves of her lost marriage and his whatever. I had a hard time paying attention. She did get a rose.

Then, the group date was an invitation teasing that “diamonds are a girl’s best friend” and it was actually a baseball diamond. They got to go through drills, then select teams then play a game with Ben as the pitcher. I was surprised that many of these girls are athletes … most of them. Not Casey S. Lindzi, thanks to Ben, got to play for both teams. That meant she got to go on an evening dinner date with Ben and the “winning team.” The losing team ended up in tears and cussing and lots and lots of blaming.

The other individual date when to the personal trainer, Elyse, and Ben wasn’t feeling it during dinner … so she went packing. The tears didn’t keep Ben from sending her home. “What did I do wrong?” … she asked. Why do women always ask that question? Like, somehow, if a man doesn’t like you, it is your fault. Maybe it is his fault. Maybe he isn’t worth the effort. Maybe there was no chemistry for either of you. Maybe you didn’t do anything wrong. Maybe you are too strong, too nice, too virginal, too sweet, too smart, too ambitious, too hard-working, too pretty, too awesome for him!

Anyway, I will let that go.

Later in the evening, Courtney, unfortunately, caught Ben in a vulnerable moment (after the Elyse incident) and talked him into skinny-dipping. She didn’t tell the other girls. Neither did he. He later seemed to feel a little guilty about it and said that he and Courtney shared an “intimate moment” but he didn’t want it to keep it from remembering there were other girls around. Hmmmm …

Ben. Ben. Ben. You are a bad boy.

Courtney. Courtney. Courtney. We know what you are.

At the rose ceremony, I was hoping he might send her home and put all the spoilers to shame, but I’m worried that Ben might be an old-fashioned guy and feel he has to marry the girl he has done the deed with … so Jennifer got the boot.

We’ll see what  happens. A short recap this week because I had a hard time watching this train wreck, and Ben is still boring me.