Because I am two weeks behind now on my Bridezillas updates, I am going to combine two episodes and try to make this short. It won't be sweet. I still have other shows to blog about!
As we catch up with Tricia, she and Jesse make amends (after the bachelorette party episode), by getting matching tattoos ... with the date of their wedding. At least it is small so it won't be hard to laser off after this marriage takes a nosedive. Yes, I'm predicting it now.
Tricia is color blind. She can't see that her hair is already two colors when she blames her hairdresser for her two-toned roots. She can't see that her bouquet is white when it actually is white. She can't see, because of a drunken haze on her wedding day, that stealing flowers from a grave site (for her bridesmaids to carry) might be slightly inappropriate. And, she can't see that getting sloppy drunk on your wedding day might make you look like a fool. And, by the way, isn't she only 19?
At the end of the drunkfest-type wedding, Tricia announces that she and Jesse are "a disgusting, burpy, drunk couple." I agree.
Danni, the former beauty queen with attitude, is 26 and from Minneapolis. She is marrying Marlon, 28. She declares that people must call her "the most beautiful bride" when they speak to her and is also flabbergasted by the reality that nobody cares as much about her wedding day as she does. She has a list of rules a mile long that all her cronies must follow, and they do try to cater to her unreasonable demands.
Danni is trying to lose weight so she eats about 3 pounds of cake. She wants her brothers to support her on her wedding day so she gives them a nice long lecture. She doubles her wedding budget from $15,000 to $30,000. She makes her best gay guy friend attend her "waxing." She can cuss like a sailor (or a bridezilla). And, most importantly, she wants everyone to tell her she is pretty, skinny and just the best thing ever!
I will give Danni some credit. She was annoying as hell throughout the episode, but she actually looked appropriate and pretty in her wedding dress. (She is a former beauty queen and knows how to carry herself.) And, the vows between her and Marlon were sweet and sincere. She cried, and I think she is genuinely in love.
Suzy, 19, and her military man, Taylor, 20, are getting married in their home state of Texas. I think, unless it is an act, that Suzy is one of the worst bridezillas ever. She seems unstable even.
She doesn't want a wedding and is doing this for Taylor. She claims that people are afraid of her. I am. She cries when frustrated and hits when angry. She's like a 2-year-old in a 19-year-old's body. She is violent and spoiled. Sounds fun, huh?
Suzy and Taylor's best man and best friend, Corey, have no love for one another. She lectures the best man about the rules, and tells him that her husband-to-be will, undoubtedly, always choose her before him. I'm not so sure. Taylor is much more excited to see Corey than Suzy when he arrives in town from his military base for the wedding.
Here are the things that Suzy doesn't like: old people at her wedding, her father-in-law or pretty much anyone in Taylor's family, getting her hair cut, breaking a nail (she literally broke a nail on Taylor's face), or her mother. There's probably more.
One last thing about Suzy before we have to finish with her in the next episode. Her husband-to-be was supposed to buy her a plane ticket so she can join him on base after the wedding. He hasn't done so, and his excuses are pretty lame. Suzy's mom can't wait for her to go, and Taylor is acting like he wants her to stay. We'll see what happens. Please don't send her here.