Saturday, September 18, 2010

Jersey Shore ... All In The Family

After the hook up between Angelina and Vinny, Snooki calls Angelina a whore. Snooki. Who just picked up some random guy at the club. Snooki. Who also has slept with Vinny. Snooki. Who kinda defines the word.

For some reason, everyone in the house also now thinks Angelina is a whore. The guys have no trouble with Vinny's behavior. No trouble with their own behavior. I guess picking up random girls every other night that they don't know and don't care about is OK. I'm not excusing Angelina's behavior, but they can't point fingers.

Anyway, Mike points out that Angelina has just proven the "whore equation." When you treat a girl nice (Jose), buy her things, take her out, she will end up treating you bad. She will end up acting like a whore with some other dude that doesn't care about her and treats her bad. I think that is what he meant. I think he is saying that women are whores and prefer to be treated as such. Thanks Mike. Mike calls Angelina a "hypocritical whore" for talking dirt about Vinny and then hooking up with him. Vinny is forgiven, of course. Everyone thinks Angelina HAS to tell Jose what happened. I think Snooki and Jenni should write Jose a note.

It just so happens that the day after Angelina and Vinny do the deed, Vinny's family is coming to visit AND it is Jose's birthday. It does seem kind of weird and awkward that Angelina is introducing Jose to Vinny's family.

Vinny's family is there. They have a big Italian meal cooked by Vinny's mom. Lots of courses. Breaks between courses. There's this weird Uncle there who talks funny.

After dinner, it's time for volleyball in the hot tub. Everyone knows that the hot tub is an appropriate place for volleyball. Jenni, for the first time, gets in the hot tub. She obviously wants to give the old men a thrill. And, even Vinny admits, they look like super models to these guys.

During the hot tub volleyball game, Angelina hits the ball and it accidentally hits Snooki in the face. Snooki causes drama cause Angelina, of course, has amazing accuracy with a volleyball and did it on purpose. Angelina can't do nothing right.

Then, we're back clubbing at Tantra! Pauly D and Mike pick up a couple of girls. The girl that Mike picks up was the same girl that Vinny was trying to pick up ... so Mike teaches him a lesson. Take that Vinny. Mike gets the tramp. Angelina also picks up a new guy ... Alex!

Now, it doesn't work out so good for Pauly D and Mike because the girls go home, get in bed with them, start foolin' around in the same room (I can not understand this AT ALL) ... and then the girls have a change of heart. They have boyfriends! They shouldn't be doing this! They leave. They are finally sobering up.

But Mike and Pauly D still want girls to come over. By this time, it's 6:30 a.m. They both make numerous phone calls looking for company. Pauly D finds a willing participant. Unbelievable. He wants her to bring a friend for Mike. However, she shows up empty handed. This skank and Pauly D hop in bed and Mike makes a sandwich and grabs a "front row seat for a slam session." A threesome once removed.


Anyway, next night. Everyone's out again. Mike, is turning into a sissy like Vinny, tells Jose that if Angelina doesn't tell him something, he will. Angelina fesses up to Jose then that she and Vinny hooked up. Jose says he doesn't want to be played. Too late.

I'm sorry, but there are a bunch of little tattletale girls in this house. The only man in this house in Angelina.

At Tantra, Vinny thinks he's in love. Another classy girl this time because she's a dancer there! Ramona. He actually wants to take her out on a date ... something these guys rarely do. Pauly D also meets a girl at the Club that he actually wants to get to know. He wants to date her and "wife her up." Doesn't want to just smush. Good for her. Her name is Rosio or Rosie or something.

They ask the girls out and Vinny is very excited. He is soooo bad at asking girls out. Sounds like a complete idiot on the phone. Pauly D actually acts like he's done this before. The guys go and get haircuts, new clothes and even flowers for their double date. Then, Vinny's girl cancels. No reason. Just does. He's upset, but then he calls her later and begs ... literally begs ... her to reconsider. She does. Game on.

Pauly D's date shows up ... but Vinny's is a no show. He gets stood up by the dancer Ramona. She's the smartest person I have seen on this show.

Favorite Lines .... This one from Vinny: "I would treat some girls like my mother." Really?
This one from Mike: "Angelina is the Staten Island Ferry. Everyone gets a free ride."

Favorite New Phrase: "Wife her up." That's when they want to treat a girl real nice.

Goodness. I'm looking forward to blogging about the wholesome goodness of Gary from Teen Mom. I feel icky right now.

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