Thursday, September 30, 2010

Teen Mom ... Lashing Out

Catelynn & Tyler

The 12-month pics of Carly are sent to Catelynn and Tyler … and they both picked the same photo  (one with her … without her adoptive parents … and wearing a little hat) as their favorite. The adoption counselor asks them both about their grades and they react confidently.

Then Catelynn says something disturbing. She’s says something about not being able to get to school in the past because her mom was drunk? Did I hear that right? She says she’s learned that she has to call a friend or find another way to school if her mother can’t give her a ride. Just another reason for me to find her mother disgusting. Catelynn says one of the reasons they chose adoption for Carly is so she could finish high school.

She and Tyler go to a community college and visit  with a counselor. Catelynn wants to be an ultrasound tech, and Tyler wants to be an EMT, and then maybe a psychologist. They are very proud of themselves because they will be the first persons in their families to graduate high school, and go to college. How sad is that.

Then reality check. They don’t have enough credits to graduate from high school. And, Catelynn’s grades are not as good as she has been letting on … she tells her mom she doesn’t want to be a “loser” and not graduate from high school. Her mom says “thanks.” At least her mom knows what she is …

I will give these two kids some credit. They don’t pout; they attend graduation and support their friends and talk about how they will be there some day. You gotta like these two.


Maci is living in Nashville near her boyfriend and complains that Ryan hasn’t tried to see Bentley. It’s summer time, so school is out, so basically she is hanging out and seeing her boyfriend all the time. I’m wondering where the money is coming from?

She tries to cook rice and, I guess, chicken. Maci is complaining that the rice is not cooked but then keeps eating it and feeding it to her kid. OK then. She says she wants to keep Bentley with her forever, but she also doesn’t want to keep him from his father.  She isn’t happy about it. She wants to parent with him, and doesn’t want to go to court.

So … she takes Bentley to see Ryan. They actually, shockingly, come to an agreement about the custody arrangement. I think this means they will use a mediator instead of a courtroom. Maci says something about acting like adults … finally.

Everything about Maci is boring me …


She bought a new car. She’s moving in her parents’ rental house. But the most important thing is that she is meeting with her lawyer to see if somehow she can force her deceased boyfriend’s family to submit to DNA testing. She tells her lawyer she has called her three times with no results. However, he calls and  … lo and behold … Kassy (deceased boyfriend’s sister) agrees right away. However,  she wants to meet Sophia. Farrah agrees.

Farrah has a new job as a waitress. (I’m just throwing that in here.) She tells her parents that Kassy has agreed to DNA testing. For some reason, her mom doesn’t trust this family. I wish I knew the history here.

Later, Farrah is studying for culinary school. It’s hard to study with a baby because she “gets into everything.”  Kassy calls and tells Farrah she has some things for Sophia including some pictures.

They meet, and it seems like a friendly reunion. Kassy thinks Sophia looks just like Derek. Kassy tells Farrah that Derek wanted to be there for her “even if the baby wasn’t his.” What’s up with that? Again, I wish I knew the history here.

Later, Farrah calls her mom. She cries. She misses Derek. Her mom tells her she will find someone else. Farrah feels she took Derek for granted, and now he is gone. She’s sad, and I’m sad for her.


Someone I am not sad for is the violent, foul-mouthed and repulsive Amber. Her vile behavior knows no bounds, and now … she actually became so enraged and unrestrained that the show kept flashing messages about  “if you are the victim of domestic violence” and giving us a Web site to visit at This girl is crazy.

Anyway, let’s start at the beginning …  Gary and Amber are living together but not together. Amber and a friend take Leah and her friend’s child to a park. Amber is taking some “self-defense” classes, which is completely ironic since Gary is the one who needs the classes to defend himself against this loon, so she is showing her friend her moves while their children are left to swing alone. Amber, the mother of the year, doesn’t care.

Then, we see Gary’s mom keeping Leah. She buys Leah some crib sheets and then takes Leah and the sheets back to Amber. Leah’s mad because she looks … maybe cause she is … a bad mom because Leah’s bed has no crib sheets. However, she still doesn’t put crib sheets on Leah’s bed. No one can make you look like something  you already are.

Leah climbs on a table. So Amber puts her in bed, without crib sheets, to cry. Gary comes home. Amber gets bleeped every 10 seconds so I don’t know what she is saying, but Gary leaves with Amber. He says he is keeping her for awhile. Amber asks how long (not that I think she cares). He says “forever.” He leaves with Leah. Sometime during this event he tells her he will call Child Protective Services on her.

She immediately calls some friends to come over and console her. I’m surprised she has any friends. Maybe they just want some camera time.

Later, she’s packing Gary’s stuff. He comes over. Bleep (Amber). Amber is having a fit. She punches him in the head. Calls him fat and other names. Kicks him. Bleep. Bleep. Bleep. (Here’s where the “domestic violence” message kicks in …) He doesn’t hit her or even barely try to defense himself. He just leaves with his things.

Gary is the better parent. No question. I’ve said it before. There’s not even a question now. Amber is an immature, vicious, out-of-control and just downright mean high school dropout. She needs to go counseling to learn how to control her anger,  how to parent and how to just be a decent person.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Sister Wives ... Meet Kody & The Wives

I’ve been waiting anxiously for this show. Obviously, it’s been done before … an inside look at polygamist families … the women with their long hair in their long dresses with no make-up and lots and lots of kids. The older, ridiculous and demanding men who use religion as the reason to take on wife after wife after wife.

Let me say something right now. There’s no polygamist that is actually, legally married to all these wives. They may be legally married to the first one, but the rest are just living with them in the eyes of the law.

But now here comes the “Sister Wives.” No long dresses here. Make-up everywhere. They wear jeans! They just want their children to be happy and don’t really care if they live the “lifestyle.” They want to raise moral, ethical, contributing members of society. They want their children to marry who they love. What? A modern-thinking polygamist family?

Kody Brown is the long-haired patriarch of this brood, the father of 12, the advertising salesman, the man with the three wives … Meri (wife No. 1 and mother of one), Janelle (wife No. 2 and mother of six) and Christine (wife No. 3 and mother of five with one on the way). Surprisingly, he married them all many years ago and they’ve been living happily in polygamy ever after for many years … but change is going to come in the form of a cute little brunette. More on that later.

During the show, it’s annoying that Kody and the wives and the kids always talk to the camera rather than the camera just following them around. I’m hoping that will change. Kody is full of wit and wisdom on living the “lifestyle.” For example, “love should be multiplied, not divided.” What? That doesn’t even make sense.

And, another one of his funnies — “I’m a repeat offender.”

Conventional wisdom in polygamy world is that if you have one successful marriage, then you will be good with two, then four. Hmmm … In the real world, that’s called divorce and remarriage. It doesn’t mean you are good at marriage, it means you are tired of the first one. Anyway, according to Kody, he couldn’t help all these marriages. He fell in love once, then in fell in love again, then in fell in love AGAIN.

Kody and the wives spend much of the show explaining polygamy to us outsiders. The kids are raised together and the whole group eats together about three times a week. Each wife has her own apartment in the house so — in a way —they live separate lives. Christine raises the kids while Meri and Janelle work. Janelle doesn’t want to be a housewife; she likes her job. Meri is going back to school … studying psychology. Kody, Meri and Christine all come from polygamous families so now I get it.  This is why this all makes sense to them. It’s the way they were raised. Janelle, although Mormon, was not raised in a polygamous household. They consider themselves fundamentalist Mormons. The kids all go to a private school with other kids from polygamous families. I’m not sure where this family lives, but Kody was raised in Wyoming.

So, how does Kody divide his time between the wives? He keeps a schedule! So that every wife gets their fair share of him. That’s sweet.

The wives want the public to know that these are three separate relationships, three separate marriages. Nothing funny going on here. “We don’t go weird,” says Meri. Really? I would disagree.

Each wife says she wants to have a good relationship with the other wives. According to Meri, if you think of it like … “What can I do to help you? What can you do to help me? … the lifestyle works.

Kody tells us that Meri was a friend to both wife No. 2 and wife No. 3 before he fell in love with them. He calls her “the bait.” I bet she liked that. Janelle softens the blow by saying that Meri was in charge of “mergers and acquisitions.”

Christine, the stay-at-home wife, doesn’t have a toaster because “more people die from toasters than sharks.” Even Kody shakes his head at this one. Christine tells us that three people died from shark attacks last year while 257 people were, I guess, electrocuted by a toaster.

So what do I think of all of this? Surprisingly, I think I could be a friend to Janelle. We are both working moms and prefer that lifestyle rather than being a stay-at-home mom. Meri seems accepting of it all; it’s all she’s ever known. I don’t get Christine … she wanted to be a third wife as it “sounded the easiest.” Whatever. I don’t dislike them, and I don’t feel sorry for them. This is the life they chose. Do they seem happy? I think so.

That’s how I feel about them as people. What do I think of this lifestyle choice? I don’t get it at all. I think you would have to have a screw loose to see this as a real marriage. In these "marriages," each wife is the other woman 67 percent of the time. In a real marriage, you are devoted to one person, you spend your life with that person, you share your secrets, you share every day  … you do not share him. The real true intimacy of a relationship does not exist in a plural "marriage." I do not believe you can be really, completely in love with your “husband” or “significant other” and be willing to share him (or her) with another person or two or 10. I just don’t believe it. That’s not love. It’s convenience. It’s compromise. It’s crazy. It’s not love.

Anyway, back to the show. If Kody is in love with these three wives, why is he not satisfied? Why is he still looking? A happy, satisfied, loving husband isn’t always looking for something new and better, something differint, someone else to fall in love with … it just doesn’t work that way. When you are in love, you are in love. You don’t need anyone else. Or maybe I just haven't met the right guy with three wives.

So, I don’t think Kody is in love with anyone … I think this is just the life he leads. He likes having three women. It is what was modeled for him. And, now, after all these years … he is a little bored. So … meet Robin … soon to be the newest wife of the “Sister Wives.” She’s a pretty, petite 30-year-old with long, brown hair and three children. And, Kody, is “in love” again.

More on “Sister Wives” next time.

Jersey Shore ... Dirty Pad

This is the dirty episode. Dirty girls. Dirty mouths. Dirty house. I feel a little dirty just watching.

Last time we saw Vinny getting stood up. We’re still there with sad little Vinny. Angelina and Jose plus Ronnie and Sammi go on a double date. Jose tells Ronnie he only told Angelina to “behave” because she was saying the same thing to him … telling him not to get with other girls. “Jose’s getting played like a piano,” says Ronnie. Sammi says Angelina says one thing, does another. She’s right and more proof of that is coming!

Because Vinny’s date never showed, and the flowers he bought her are turning brown, thoughtful Ronnie leaves a few dollars on Vinny’s bed and gives them to Sammi. Not cool. No one thinks it’s cool except Ronnie who thinks he just did a good deed and got a great deal.

Just recently, we know that Angelina "hooked up" with Vinny. Now she invites Jose to the “smush” room, but she tells the camera they didn’t "smush" because  … well, it’s her time of the month. Jose should thank his lucky stars.

I now know, because they show the audience, that there is a scoreboard in the house and they are keeping track of who is bring home a guest and how often. Angelina tells everyone she "hooked up" with Jose (although she didn’t) … I’m not understanding why she thinks this is a good idea. However, her decision-making has proven to me that her elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top. The guys think Angelina is a tramp. Everyone realizes it is a double standard because of the way they all behave, but no one cares. She still gets the label. However, Snooki has been making some bad decisions of her own, but no one seems to notice.

While at work, Pauly D’s new girlfriend, Rocio, comes to visit. He likes her because “she’s not a whore, not a stalker.” And, he would definitely know the first one. He doesn’t want to rush things and turn her into a stalker. He says he has a tendency to do that to girls.

Back at the house, Angelina is on the phone and eating cereal. What is her obsession with cereal? Every time they show this girl, she’s eating cereal. Anyway, she was supposed to wake Snooki up to go get a manicure and pedicure with Jenni. She doesn’t do it because the cereal was calling, I guess. Jenni has to get a pedi and mani to “look good for her boyfriend.” Now I know her secret!

Tom, Jenni’s boyfriend, comes to visit. Within two seconds, they are in a fight because she a phone number in her “book” that he asked her not to take with her to Miami. He threatens to leave. For once, Jenni remains calm and the boyfriend stays.

That evening, the guys are getting ready to go out and it’s “T-shirt time.” They go to a place called Dream. Snooki is having no luck here. She’s talking to this guy in a suit, and he asks her the unfortunate question if there has ever been a time when she “just wanted to kill something?” “Right now,” says Snooki. Perfect.

Mike  has found a girl he thinks is “smokin’ hot” … so much that he can’t even wait to take her home. And, sadly, she doesn’t care. He takes her to the bathroom to “do his thing” but, thankfully, security stops them. Then, while trying to get her out of the bar, he loses her in the crowd. I’m thinking she’s dodged a bullet. It’s her lucky night.

At the bar, Angelina is seen dancing with a guy Snooki has previously “hooked up with.” Pauly D questions her about it because he doesn’t want her to “get an infection.” These guys can’t stand Angelina because she is way too much like them.

Ronnie and Sammi. Remember them? They are in love again, confessing it. Just letting you know.

The guys are alone for once, but Snooki hops in bed with Vinny and Tom and Jenni are together.

Next morning, off to GTL (gym, tan and laundry) for the guys.

Back at the house, Angelina wakes up to a filthy house. Dishes in the sink, trash everywhere. She starts to clean up, but the phone rings and she’s distracted. She and her friend Gina make plans to go the beach and off they go. Housework forgotten.

The guys return. First thing, they see a note on the door that says something like the following … Samantha … I met you last night … and here’s my number. Pauly D and Vinny think the note is FOR Sammi, but the note is from a Samantha, which happens to be the girl Mike “lost” at the club. She narrowly escapes and then the next day she is SOBER and she STILL seeks him out knowing he only wants one thing from her? I’m sure she’ll get exactly what she deserves.

Mike translates the note for us. “Here’s my number. Please call me so we can bang real quick.” Oh Lord, help us all.

Mike gives Samantha a call … “Hey baby.” “Do you have plans tonight?” She says no. “Now you have plans with me.” Gives her the details, which include coming to their house about 11 p.m., going to the club and then having a “sleepover.”  “Miss you.”

Seriously? Sammi tells him, “You creep me out” after hearing that phone call. It was creepy. And, just plain silly.  Do girls really find this guy attractive? Believable? Sane? I think Mike is a “lucky” man because Mike is a “famous” man. Girls really don’t fall for this crap, right?

I will give Mike credit for one thing; he took a look around the house and started cleaning up. Took out the trash. Washed down the counters. Swept the floor. He left the dishes for Angelina. Then, I’m sorry to say, he headed for the bathroom. He found something disgusting on the floor … decided it was Angelina’s and put in under her pillow (after showing it to everyone first).

Angelina comes home with her friend, Gina, and a new guy she met at the beach. This should be fun. They find the disgusting thing in her bed. She knows Mike put it there because he likes to "prank" her.

When the guys come in, Mike says to Angelina that she needs to do the dishes, but she tells him that she already did her share by “taking out the garbages.” OK, seems like a lie to me but whatever.  They get in to a fight and Mike calls her, among other things, a “dirty little hamster” and “the dirtiest girl I have ever met” and I think he might know about this one. She calls him “Popeye on crack.” That was funny. Her friends are telling her to chill. She’s losing it, and gets up and smacks Mike.

Wow. More next time.

(One more thing, Angelina … quit touching your hair!! It’s so annoying.)

(And one more thing, I hope I have events in order on this blog ... I got distracted from all the "dirty.")

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Teen Mom ... Trial and Error

Catelynn & Tyler

Catelynn's mom has been out of town (thank God), and now Catelynn, rather than throwing a party or acting a fool like a good teenager, is cleaning up the house before her mom returns so her mother might, hopefully, be happy with Catelynn for once.

Mom doesn't seem to care much about the clean house or the stories about Carly. She just looks angry (and tired and maybe hungover) when Catelynn and Tyler go on and on about Carly's love of strawberries and spaghetti and whatever. She does not comment.

Catelynn and Tyler give up. They talk about how they are making Carly a scrapbook.

For some reason, Tyler's dad (April's boyfriend or husband or whatever ... so Catelynn's stepdad or whatever) violated the court order not to contact April (this is Catelynn's mom if you are keeping up) and now is back in jail.

Catelynn and her mom talk to an attorney who wants $1,500 for his services. They don't have the money. So there you have it. April is rude to the attorney. This woman has no manners, no class, no nothing. She is embarrassing.

Catelynn tells Tyler the story and he reminisces that his dad has been in jail during all the important events of his life. Tyler has no sympathy and says that his dad got himself in this situation, he can get himself out. Good for Tyler.


She's gonna move no matter what. She's determined to take Bentley and live near her boyfriend. In this episode, Maci and new boyfriend Kyle are declaring their love for one another. I can't figure out how long they have known each other? I've lost track. How long have they been together? Doesn't seem like long ... but you can't tell.

Maci tells Ryan she's moving and basically where he can stick it ... Ryan doesn't like it ... so you know fireworks are coming in future episodes. Ryan accuses her of taking Bentley away from his family and of thinking of no one but herself.

She moves anyway. We see Kyle putting Bentley's crib together. How sweet. I'm not sure what Maci wants, but Ryan is Bentley's father ... Not Kyle as much as she wants him to be.


Money woes again. The scam that was pulled on her has really hurt. She is moving into her mom's rental house. Decides to get money advice from dad, and he tells her that Sophia deserves Social Security benefits from her deceased father. I think that's right and fair.

Farrah talks to the attorney and decides to pursue this .. she gets her and Sophia "DNA tested" and expects her deceased boyfriend's family to do the same to prove paternity. I guess they agreed originally, but no one shows up to the DNA testing place. Farrah is rightfully upset.

She needs money. She's looking for help. I feel sorry for her in a way.


Lovely, sweet Amber and the chunk of burning love Gary. Oh yes, my favorite TV couple. Oh wait, they broke up again. Oh wait, they are just living together. Oh wait, he loves her. And wait, she wants to hit him. I love the Merry-Go-Round relationship!

So, Gary tried to live with his mom. She won't let him because he needs to be with his family, he fights with his brother ... whatever. He decides to ask Amber if he can stay there until he finds his own place. This guy is a glutton for punishment.

Amber is studying for her GED as Leah walks around in her shoes. This baby is precious ...

Gary shows up and Amber reluctantly agrees to let him stay there BUT THEY ARE NOT BACK TOGETHER. They get in a fight after Gary finds a knife laying around with Amber's leftover food. He's afraid Leah could have found it. Amber, sweet as ever, gets bleeped as this is somehow his fault that she is such a slob.

Gary's looking for a place and doesn't want to share any details with Amber including who he might be living with ... that's top secret info. He tells her is taking Leah with him. Amber kicks him out again (after threatening to hit him) for keeping his possible roommate situation from her ... and Gary takes Leah with him this time.

Gary visits with a friend and tells the friend he wants to work things out with Amber; he wants to be with his family. His friend tells him that Amber doesn't love him and he should probably lose her. His friend has no love for Amber ... gee, that's so hard to understand.

Gary goes back to Amber again. She lets him stay out of "pity" she says. He says "thank you." She tells him to putt Leah to bed. He does it. OMG ... he is pathetic. She is mean.

OK, Amber shouldn't be a mom. She is too immature and selfish and ridiculous. Gary shouldn't be a dad because he is too immature and lazy and ridiculous. However, they are parents so they need to grow up and act like adults. I have to admit that I felt sorry for Gary, and I stick by my last blog ... he is probably the better parent of the two. How sad is that.

Next up ... Sister Wives or Jersey Shore. I gotta do a better job of keeping up blogging. This is hard work!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Why I Blog About Reality TV

People may wonder why I choose to blog about reality TV. Is my own life that boring? Good one. Maybe. Should I look at myself first before judging others? I do. I have plenty of faults. What’s the interest?

I just feel like it. I do what I want. I spent many years NOT doing what I wanted, and now I will do what I want no matter what anyone thinks. I choose not to blog about my kids or my family or my friends because they are not public figures, and they have not opened themselves up to that. They wouldn’t like it. I respect that. I tried it with my kids … it didn’t work.

Here’s the deal. I enjoy reality TV shows. They are funny and entertaining and sometimes sad and always shocking. They entertain me. I like to be entertained. So, I like to watch them and I like to write … so there it is. I don’t write about “Jersey Shore” because I want to be like Snooki or because I hate Snooki or because I am judging Snooki (or the rest of them) …I write about her because she shocks me. She is someone I do not understand … I find her interesting and fascinating. It’s like she is from another planet … I do not know anyone like her and never have. Obviously, I don’t know her ... I just know what I see on TV.

I was never a “Teen Mom,” but I find their stories interesting. However, I do not want to glorify teen pregnancy … I do not think they have it easy. I hope they don’t think that. I’ve written about “Bridezillas” because they put on a show, and “Hoarding: Buried Alive” because they are sad … and I will start blogging about “Sister Wives” … a show about a polygamous family on TLC. Again, I know I will find this brood shocking and will want to blog about them.

I will comment on what I think about the people and the antics I see on certain reality TV shows. Bottom line.

Having said that … if you are on a reality TV show … be ready for what that means. The lack of privacy, the criticism, the rudeness of couch critics like myself. If you go on TV and put yourself out there, you better expect that people will comment about you, about your looks, about your life, about your choices. You basically asked for it. You may not like what I say. I may not always be right, and I may not always see the whole picture because of the editing or whatever … but I will comment on what I see. However, it’s just my opinion. You don’t have to agree.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Coming Soon ... New Look for My Blog

It helps to have friends.

Obviously, I need help with this blog. It looks horrible. I'd tell more people about and show it off if it looked nice. It will soon because I have a friend who is going to help. It's going to look awesome because he is amazing ...!!! You'll see soon enough.

FiascoSauce is going be beautiful!!!!

Teen Mom ... Hello and Goodbye

Catelynn & Tyler

I know this show is supposed to be about each "mom" but I always include Tyler in the title because this seems to about him as much as it is about Catelynn. They are both in the same situation. In this episode, the witch that Catelynn calls mom is heading to Vegas. Good riddance. She leaves her young son, Nick, with Catelynn and Tyler until the grandfather shows up to pick him up. I am assuming that Nick is both Catelynn and Tyler's brother because he is probably the child of Butch and April. And April is Catelynn's mom and Butch is Tyler's dad. It's all a little too hillbilly here.

Anyway, Catelynn and Tyler are preparing for the birthday of Carly, the child they gave up for adoption. They buy the 1-year-old a necklace and send it to her through the adoption agency. Again, they buy a 1-year-old a necklace. It just shows how clueless they really are.

Poor Catelynn cries for the lost relationship with her mother. She should just forget it. It is not worth it. Her mother is a lost cause.

On Carly's birthday, they call her parents, Teresa and Brandon, who seem very nice and give them an update on how much Carly enjoyed her cake and other bits of information. It's interesting how much they seem to miss Carly. Is this for the show? Is this for real? They seem genuine. It's sad that of all these teen moms, they might have actually tried the hardest had they kept their baby. However, they made the right choice.


Farrah has money woes.

So, the mother she seems to hate offers to let her live in a rental house across the street from them. She's also helping with the baby. Farrah hates her parents so much that she can't decide what to do. However, she also needs her parents for financial support and babysitting help.

She's talking to her hairstylist and friend about all this ... looking for advice ... and talking about what a great mother she is (as she ignores her baby who is throwing hair products all over the floor) and she does realize that to take her parents up on their offer of the rental house will be giving up some of her privacy. She seems willing to do it.

On her birthday, her parents try to have a little party and take Farrah and Sophia to the zoo. They get in some sort of argument on the way there. Farrah is disrespectful. The car busts a hose. Somehow even that is her parents' fault. Farrah always is upset with them.

Later, she gives her mother some "rules" if she is going to rent from them. Her mother asks her what it would take to make her happy. Farrah responds that she should know.

There's something going on here, and I don't get it. I'm missing something.


Maci does love Bentley, and she has a point about Ryan. He finished high school and did his thing while she gave up everything for Bentley. She has always been there. Now, he wants more time with Bentley. She feels like it's not fair. She love Bentley and wants him with her. She also wants to move and be near her boyfriend. She doesn't care what Ryan or anyone else wants. I understand her point that she deserves some happiness and deserves to have what she wants. Just because she has a child shouldn't stop her from living her life.

I understand Ryan. He's grown up a little. He does want to be a father now. It will be harder for him if Bentley lives farther away. He does have rights.

It's difficult.

Maci gets an apartment. Pays the deposit. Signs the lease. THEN .. she tells her parents. Her dad doesn't like it. Her mom wonders about the seriousness of the relationship between Kyle and Maci. I'm with her. They don't like any of it, but it's a done deal.


And now, my favorite teen parents, Amber and Gary. They are the reason that they should force all teens to take birth control. Poor, poor little Leah. She is precious, and doesn't deserve these two idiots as parents.

First off, they are taking dance lessons because they want to dance at their wedding that's not been set but is taking place in two, no four, no 20 months. Depends on who you ask. Gary is dancing. Please Lord no. Make him stop. Amber says Gary dances like a caveman. No, Amber, a caveman would be an upgrade for you.

Then, we find out that Gary has a job! He stocks shelves! We also get to see Gary without a shirt and find out that he also has boobs! Thanks MTV! While he is getting ready for work, he wakes up Leah which really makes Amber mad ... and no one likes a mad Amber. He leaves Leah crying in her bed. And, Amber screaming in her bed. Fun times.

Then, throughout the day, we get to watch Amber screaming at poor little Leah because she is a tired baby. She calls her a brat. She blames Gary.

When Gary comes home, she blames Gary for Leah's "lack of discipline." She's a baby. She thinks Leah should be "smacked." Gary does not want to smack her. Amber starts cussing and the bleeping starts. Gary tells her to quit cussing. She says that also is his fault.

OMG. Without a doubt, Amber is the worst mom of the bunch. I'm actually starting to like Gary now. And, I may regret this later, I believe ... he's the better parent of the two. There, I wrote it.

Gary leaves the house and leaves Leah there. He tells his mom he wishes he had not left Leah. I wish he had not left Leah either.

More Jersey Shore next time.

Jersey Shore ... All In The Family

After the hook up between Angelina and Vinny, Snooki calls Angelina a whore. Snooki. Who just picked up some random guy at the club. Snooki. Who also has slept with Vinny. Snooki. Who kinda defines the word.

For some reason, everyone in the house also now thinks Angelina is a whore. The guys have no trouble with Vinny's behavior. No trouble with their own behavior. I guess picking up random girls every other night that they don't know and don't care about is OK. I'm not excusing Angelina's behavior, but they can't point fingers.

Anyway, Mike points out that Angelina has just proven the "whore equation." When you treat a girl nice (Jose), buy her things, take her out, she will end up treating you bad. She will end up acting like a whore with some other dude that doesn't care about her and treats her bad. I think that is what he meant. I think he is saying that women are whores and prefer to be treated as such. Thanks Mike. Mike calls Angelina a "hypocritical whore" for talking dirt about Vinny and then hooking up with him. Vinny is forgiven, of course. Everyone thinks Angelina HAS to tell Jose what happened. I think Snooki and Jenni should write Jose a note.

It just so happens that the day after Angelina and Vinny do the deed, Vinny's family is coming to visit AND it is Jose's birthday. It does seem kind of weird and awkward that Angelina is introducing Jose to Vinny's family.

Vinny's family is there. They have a big Italian meal cooked by Vinny's mom. Lots of courses. Breaks between courses. There's this weird Uncle there who talks funny.

After dinner, it's time for volleyball in the hot tub. Everyone knows that the hot tub is an appropriate place for volleyball. Jenni, for the first time, gets in the hot tub. She obviously wants to give the old men a thrill. And, even Vinny admits, they look like super models to these guys.

During the hot tub volleyball game, Angelina hits the ball and it accidentally hits Snooki in the face. Snooki causes drama cause Angelina, of course, has amazing accuracy with a volleyball and did it on purpose. Angelina can't do nothing right.

Then, we're back clubbing at Tantra! Pauly D and Mike pick up a couple of girls. The girl that Mike picks up was the same girl that Vinny was trying to pick up ... so Mike teaches him a lesson. Take that Vinny. Mike gets the tramp. Angelina also picks up a new guy ... Alex!

Now, it doesn't work out so good for Pauly D and Mike because the girls go home, get in bed with them, start foolin' around in the same room (I can not understand this AT ALL) ... and then the girls have a change of heart. They have boyfriends! They shouldn't be doing this! They leave. They are finally sobering up.

But Mike and Pauly D still want girls to come over. By this time, it's 6:30 a.m. They both make numerous phone calls looking for company. Pauly D finds a willing participant. Unbelievable. He wants her to bring a friend for Mike. However, she shows up empty handed. This skank and Pauly D hop in bed and Mike makes a sandwich and grabs a "front row seat for a slam session." A threesome once removed.


Anyway, next night. Everyone's out again. Mike, is turning into a sissy like Vinny, tells Jose that if Angelina doesn't tell him something, he will. Angelina fesses up to Jose then that she and Vinny hooked up. Jose says he doesn't want to be played. Too late.

I'm sorry, but there are a bunch of little tattletale girls in this house. The only man in this house in Angelina.

At Tantra, Vinny thinks he's in love. Another classy girl this time because she's a dancer there! Ramona. He actually wants to take her out on a date ... something these guys rarely do. Pauly D also meets a girl at the Club that he actually wants to get to know. He wants to date her and "wife her up." Doesn't want to just smush. Good for her. Her name is Rosio or Rosie or something.

They ask the girls out and Vinny is very excited. He is soooo bad at asking girls out. Sounds like a complete idiot on the phone. Pauly D actually acts like he's done this before. The guys go and get haircuts, new clothes and even flowers for their double date. Then, Vinny's girl cancels. No reason. Just does. He's upset, but then he calls her later and begs ... literally begs ... her to reconsider. She does. Game on.

Pauly D's date shows up ... but Vinny's is a no show. He gets stood up by the dancer Ramona. She's the smartest person I have seen on this show.

Favorite Lines .... This one from Vinny: "I would treat some girls like my mother." Really?
This one from Mike: "Angelina is the Staten Island Ferry. Everyone gets a free ride."

Favorite New Phrase: "Wife her up." That's when they want to treat a girl real nice.

Goodness. I'm looking forward to blogging about the wholesome goodness of Gary from Teen Mom. I feel icky right now.

Jersey Shore ... Sleeping With The Enemy

The fight continues between Sammi and Jenni. I gotta admit after seeing THIS episode and reliving the beginning of the fight that ... Vinny is an instigating little sissy. Just saying.

Anyway, Jenni admits she wrote the note telling Sammi all about Ronnie's bad behavior. During the fight, Jenni gets the first knockdown. Looks like she breaks a nail or two on Sammi's nose. Sammi gets a right cross to Jenni's head. There's some massive hair pulling. Vinny, Angelina and Ronnie try to break up the fight. After the fight is broken up, Jenni throws something at Sammi.

Then, Ronnie and Vinny get into it. I would be afraid if I was Vinny. Then, Vinny, starts blaming it all on Angelina. Somehow, everything is Angelina's fault.

(By the way, there's some unknown suspected ho hanging around the background all this time.)

Then, Snooki accuses Angelina of being there when they wrote the note and of telling them what to put in the note. Now, she wasn't there. I don't remember her telling them what to put in the note although she might have given them the information for the note. There's a little bit of a difference to me.

While Ronnie is making a sandwich, war continues to break out among the girls. I just want to say SHUT UP SNOOKI. Snooki seems to be mad because Sammi still loves Ronnie. Well, she does.

(Never mind about the suspected ho, I just remembered Mike's sister is in town.)

Jenni and Snooki go outside to cool off and for some reason, Jenni comes back in the house. Sammi is laughing at her. So is Ronnie. So, Jenni reacts the only way she knows how and starts throwing punches and plates. Sammi throws the plate back at her.

Jenni and Snooki decide that Sammi just looks stupid for staying with Ronnie and sticking with Angelina. They look like rocket scientists for the brilliant note idea.
Sammi is pretty proud of her first fight.

The next morning, there are hair extensions, nails and tuna fish everywhere. The place is a mess. Jenni, Ronnie and Sammi are supposed to go to work. Ronnie and Sammi go, but Jenni calls in to tell her boss that can't work because she broke a nail. Really? Even Sammi can't believe it. I can't believe it. At least make up a better excuse. I was afraid of Jenni because she acts so mean and bitchy and tough. Now I know that breaking a nail brings her to full stop. I'm not afraid anymore.

That afternoon, Vinny, Mike and Angelina have to work and Angelina's new semi, kinda maybe boyfriend dude stops by and brings her a present ... a Fossil watch. When Angelina is showing off the watch to the guys later, they absolutely think that poor Jose is getting played. He's buying her presents and isn't getting to "hit that." Pauly D can't believe it. Ronnie calls Jose "a pro." They are all pretty impressed with the watch thing. They can't believe how Angelina is holding out.

It looks like the note has not slowed down Ronnie and Sammi. They seem closer that ever. Going on dates. Smushing. (I know what the means now.) After all the drama, everyone even goes out to play pool. Even Snooki and "The Beast" as Sammi calls Jenni show up. At this point, Sammi does believe that Angelina gave the other girls information for the note. I say whatever. So does Sammi.

Later, Angelina and Vinny get into a fight AGAIN. During this scene, there's a lot of bleeping going on. However, Angelina says she hates him and she's going basically going to ruin him in Staten Island. He calls her ugly, some other names, says she's fat, and gives her the lovely name of "Staten Island Dump."

Then, the group goes clubbing again at Tantra. Vinny picks up what he describes as a "really classy girl." She works at Hooters. Takes her home.

Snooki picks up some guy named Dennis. Takes him home. When they get there, the guy wants to make tacos and Snooki wants to cuddle. It seems like the poor guy is doing anything to avoid the alone time with her.

This is all very oh-so-disgusting to me. They do not know these people. They do not care about these people. If you were watching this, would you really want to date Snooki or Vinny or Mike or Pauly D? They are disease-magnets.

Another night, another club. Jose tells Angelina to "behave" and she responds with a sarcastic "OK, Daddy." The boy is a little slow and doesn't seem to get it and then he says, "I like it when you call me Daddy." WHAT?!? OK, freak. Lose him Angelina. The watch ain't worth it.

While the rest of the gang go out, Snooki and Jenni stay in. Snooki wants to invite Dennis over again so she can "get it in." I'm a little lost here again, but I THINK I know what that means. They have to disinfect the "community smush room" so Snooki can enjoy it with her new man. Dennis comes over and brings a "man grenade" for Jenni. Jenni is having none of it, and this dude is dismissed quickly. He was a little strange looking.

Out at the club, the dueling duo of Angelina and Vinny are drinking, and then because drinking makes you forget who you HATE, they hook up. On the ride home, the are smooching in the back seat and Pauly D tells the driver to pull over so Vinny can buy her a Fossil watch. Nice.

Favorite Line This Week comes from Snook Dog: "I'm not white. I'm tan. I put that on some job applications."

Another Reason to Dislike Vinny: When Sammi and Ronnie come home from a date, he's asking Sammi "Are you mad at me?" This guy is a girl.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Teen Mom ... Senior Prom


It’s Amber’s birthday so lovely, lovely Gary made breakfast … looking handsome in his wife-beater no less. Gary offers Amber an even better present and offers to babysit so she can go out with her friends and “dance.” The real gift is time away from him.

Later, as she’s getting ready to go and he’s off to pick up the birthday cake, Gary’s sweet little friend calls him a “bitch” for babysitting his OWN KID and tells him not to watch Leah. And, since Gary is definitely his own man, he stands up to Amber and tells her to go find a babysitter. He ain’t doing it. Gary proves once again he is a big fat loser jerk.

Amber screams into the phone that he should get lost. We can only hope. But no. He comes home with the cake. All’s forgiven. They have a stupid party. She does get to go dancing with her friends. What does she see in this guy?


The county prosecutor tells Farrah to “give and take” when it comes to her mom. Farrah is still not talking to her mom, but it looks like Farrah does need her help. We see her leaving her baby, Sophia, alone on the countertop. We see Farrah taking advantage of her friend’s offers to babysit.

Farrah does invite her mom to her therapy session. Her mother is clinging to the baby. Mom says she wants Farrah to be happy, but Farrah sits with her arms crossed and is very closed to her mom. Farrah says she wants to be closer to her mom but acts another way. She’s not sure what she wants. Even the therapist is losing patience with Farrah.

Farrah decides to meet her mom for some coffee. They make some small talk. Mom offers to watch Sophia to help Farrah out. Farrah needs the help and accepts the offer. Thank goodness.


Ryan, Bentley’s real father, not her boyfriend who she wants to make Bentley’s father, now wants more time with Bentley. He’s gotten wind that Maci may want to move. Bentley actually seems to enjoy the time with his dad and cries a little when he leaves him. Ryan is going to take her to court to keep her from moving and get more time with Bentley. Maci is upset. Is she upset because she wants more time with Bentley? Or because she can’t move to be near her boyfriend?

We’ll see.

Catelynn & Tyler

Does Catelynn’s mom know she is on camera? Is this woman really this mean? This stupid? It’s hard to imagine. While trying on prom dresses, April (Catelynn’s devilish mom) tells Catelynn that she doesn’t like the red one. So what. Mom, ever supportive, gets mad for no reason simply because Catelynn does like it. I guess Catelynn is not allowed to have an opinion. Mom leaves the store. Catelynn continues to shop with her friend. She obviously feels bad because her mother left.

When she goes to the car, she immediately tells her mom she is sorry and her mom politely tells her to get in and shut up. She then tells her and her friend that they are “ignorant bitches” and they are “rude” and “don’t ask my opinion if you don’t want it.” Catelynn should take her up on that. There’s only one person here who is ignorant and rude and bitchy.

April then calls Catelynn “Miss Perfect” and “a bitch.” This woman has problems. Someone should call child social services on her. She’s downright abusive to Catelynn.

Her friend has probably hit the problem right on the money. She thinks April is jealous of Catelynn. Catelynn has a life. She’s happy. She did the right thing by her own baby. It’s a sad thing to see a mother so unhappy about her child making good choices.

April is mean and angry and ugly and hateful. Catelynn is too nice and too forgiving. Unless they are editing something out that I’m not seeing, this is not a good situation for Catelynn.

Catelynn goes to prom. Her mom shows up to take a few pictures. She and Tyler get named King & Queen. OK then.

Next … back to the Jersey Shore.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Jersey Shore ... Not So Shore

It was looking pretty good that this season the girls were going to act like ladies and let the boys take the heat. Jenni's got a boyfriend, Angelina can't get a date, and Sammi is just brokenhearted ... but then there is Snooki. In this episode ... VERY first scene ... she's looking for a warm bed, and Vinny accommodates her. He tells the cameras later that he is "DTS" which means "down to snuggle" with Snooki, and he's not going to turn it away if she's throwing it at him. It kinda looked like she might have been.

Then, as she described the romantic scene to Sammi later, she actually, really says ... it was like a watermelon in a whaaat? I'm too old. I can't even go there.

Later, Angelina, Snooki and Jenni head for the beach and the talk turns to Sammi and Angelina seems to be the only one who actually understands what is wrong with Sammi ... "She's head over heels in love with the guy." Yes, Virginia, Sammi is in love with Ronnie. Desperately. Sadly. No one seems to understand this. While the girls are at the beach, Sammi is back at the house cyring over Ronnie again ... this time to Mike. Mike tells her to believe the letter. Sammi obviously doesn't want to ... she wants to believe Ronnie.

Even later, Snooki decides to tell all to Sammi and sends Angelina in the house (the other girls are outside) to get her. Sammi refuses to come out. I just don't think she really wants to hear it. And when Jenni comes in ... we finally get a real taste of the Jenni we all fear in the night as she tells Sammi to watch her tone. This girl is scary, and she's in Sammi's face telling all about Ronnie. The whole time Ronnie is screaming, "I was single. I was single." Sammi is screaming, "Who wrote the note?"

Sammi feels alone and isolated. Sadly, it's Ronnie that goes to check on her. She tries to talk to Snooki and Jenni and, once again, they leave her hanging. Just tell her you wrote the note. Please.

Later in the episode, the whole gang goes out on the town. Mike brings home a blonde girl, and then puts her alone in a the "smoosh" room ... I think. Is there really a room for what I think this means? She's alone in there just sitting and waiting and sitting and waiting. Mike fixes himself some food, then checks on her. Finally, he spends some time with her. Then leaves her alone again. Then calls her a taxi and sends her on her way. We don't know her name. I doubt he does. He looks like a jerk. She looks pathetic.

On Sunday night, the girls make dinner and the tension is getting worse between Jenni and Sammi. Sammi refuses to eat the food that Jenni makes. You can see what's coming and we didn't need the promos for it.

Once again, the gang goes out. This time, Mike finds another blonde. However, not so fast. The rest of the gang is PRETTY SURE this blonde is a guy. "If you have to think about it ... it is." This blonde is sporting a choker and gloves (sure signs of a tranny). Mike, I think, finally figures it out.

Pauly D. gets so drunk this evening out that he has to be helped home, and he's making nice with Angelina on the way home. Vinny makes a comment that "Pauly would have hooked up with me, he's so drunk." And, if you had put a choker on him, Mike also would have found him attractive.

After they arrive home, Vinny, the tattletale, hears Angelina make some comment about something that Jenni said to her boyfriend on the phone. Whatever. Jenni heads to the living room to scare Angelina. She does. Sammi's feeling brave and makes a smarty pants comment to Jenni and there you go. Next thing you know, there's a fight. Jenni strikes first and there's some punching and the show ends ... we'll see more next time I'm sure.

Next up ... Teen Mom. I missed Bridezillas this week!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Teen Mom … Trial & Error

Amber & Gary

Thank goodness for Gary. He makes every episode fun! Amber has decided that she’s sick and tired of Gary being the “educated” one in the family … with his high school diploma and all (forget that she’s the one with the job), and she’s looking into either going back to school or getting her GED. Because getting her GED seems to be the easier and cheaper way to go, that’s Gary’s preference.

So, she tells Gary she has to study. She may have to quit her job to study. He may have to GET A JOB. He’s all about it. He says he’ll take her to dinner if she passes … with his charm and good looks no doubt.

So Amber takes a practice GED test online … and fails. Gary can’t believe it. He can’t marry someone who isn’t “on her game.” Gary … the guy without a job, who needs to lose 100 pounds or so and needs a good wax job and has the personality of a doorstop … wants a wife who is “on her game.” I think Amber should be on the lookout for a guy “on his game” who maybe graduated from technical school or something. Gary better look out.

Oh, and something else. After she fails the test, Amber wonders if there are some “smart pills” she can take to help her pass the test. Gary, the brainiac of the two, tells her to listen to Mozart. That’ll do it. Forget studying. Neither one of them came up with that idea.


Poor Farrah. She has no money. I know these girls must get paid for this show, but Farrah can’t afford a babysitter soooo her friend is now babysitting Sophia for her.

This same helpful friend suggests that Farrah get a life other than school, work and Sophia and try … speed dating! And, Farrah finds, you meet exactly the kind of guys you would expect to meet. The first guy wonders if she is into yoga, the second guy is into cats himself, and the third guy became catatonic at the mention of the kid. And, sadly, Farrah liked him the best.

Farrah decides that as far as dating, she is “not going to wait around and not going to look.” Now, how does that work exactly?


Maci has decided to wants to transfer to a college near her new love, Kyle. She’s been at her current college for three semesters, and two of those semesters, we find out from her counselor “have not been successful” so she has only nine hours to take along for the ride. Because she is intent on the move, she and Kyle spend time looking at daycares in the new town and during this daycare tour, Bently calls Kyle “dada.”

I can’t tell if Kyle wants to be a dad, is being forced to be a dad, or is simply along for the ride because he is in love with Maci or the camera or what is going on here. I guess we’ll find out.

Catelynn & Tyler

There can’t be any doubt in anyone’s mind now that Catelynn made the right decision to give her baby up for adoption so she could have a better life after you get a bird’s eye view of the white trash world she lives in with her mother.

When stepdad, Butch, goes to rehab … nice … chain-smoking mom simply loses it. She accuses Catelynn, in her kind way with every other word bleeped out, of not helping around the house, not cleaning up after the pets, and not communicating appropriately. OK then. She ‘s also still mad at Catelynn for giving up the baby for adoption.

Catelynn tries. She does the dishes. Picks up doggy doo doo. She tells Tyler that she wants to have a good relationship with her mom.

Catelynn’s situation is depressing, and her mother is a train wreck.

Speaking of train wrecks … I’ll be blogging about Jersey Shore next.