Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Those Crazy Wives

I still haven’t found a new reality show to watch, but I’ve watched bits and pieces of the many, many, MANY “wives” shows. There are housewives from Orange County, New York, New Jersey and Atlanta and Beverly Hills (is there another?), there are basketball wives, football wives, rock star wives, and there are probably some more I don’t even know about.  

Let’s start with my favorites. I love Bethenny Frankel from New York because she says what she is thinking, picked a great husband, and has an actual career. I like NeNe and Cynthia from Atlanta because they both make me laugh. I like Jacqueline from New Jersey because she is an innocent … a bunny in the midst of snakes. And, that’s about it. I don’t like any of the basketball, football or rock star wives … but I’ve watched very little of them.

The wives you love to hate. First up  … the countess of New York, LuAnn, the pretentious royalty wannabe. Danielle and Teresa of New Jersey … are the women of New Jersey really that crass, that foul-mouthed, and that useless?

But, the worst of the worst is the phony baloney, narcissistic, plastic-enhanced, bleached blonde Camille Grammer.  She surrounds herself with paid friends (an actual grown-up group of “mean girls”) and a psycho psychic … and is simply all agog with her own conspiracy theory that all women are jealous of her and all men want her. Even though Kelsey Grammer cheated on her and now wants a divorce to marry a much younger woman, I’m still on his side. That’s how bad she is … I would actually take sides with the homewrecker instead of a woman nearer to my age and who is about to be a single mom. I can’t even blame Kelsey after getting a load of this dimwitted bimbo. She’s posed for Playboy, but criticizes others for it. Is just sooooo tired after giving orders to her four nannies, cook, house manager and her plethora of personal assistants who come off like paid cheerleaders … giving Camille a “rah rah” every time she opens her mouth. She can’t keep her hands to herself when men, no matter if they are married or not, are in the room. When she takes time to visit her poor (who had been cancer-stricken) mother, she does it in the nail salon because she is so tired and busy and whiny … let the people come to her please. She has four or five or however many houses to run, and that’s hard work! She’s not crazy about her NY apartment because it’s not “big enough” for her and her nannies and paid staff! Kelsey comes off like a saint for putting up with this idiot for so many years.

And, what’s even worse … she brings on the show that ridiculous fake medium Allison Dubois. I had never heard of her, but I know now she’s the reason for the show “Medium” which is probably going to take a major nosedive if anyone saw her on the “Housewives” show. She comes across like an affected, self-centered, fraudulent braggart who can’t get enough of herself. She makes inappropriate, childish gestures and says things that are downright evil.

For example: “If any of their children disappeared they wouldn't be like, ‘You were wrong,’ they'd be, like, ‘Can you help?’ Pssh, *&$# them.”

My crystal ball tells me that she will be so so sorry for her actions on “Housewives” unless, of course, she’s looking to take her spot among the bad girls of Beverly Hills next season.

Anyway, this woman is a smack-talking imposter. She needs to go back to whatever hole she crawled out of and start tapping into her own head to find her sense of remorse. And, if she really was some type of clairvoyant, why didn’t she use her amazing psychic abilities to predict the backlash that was to come after her appearance on “Housewives” or to tell her dear friend Camille that her husband was about to kick her to the curb for a younger, sweeter, prettier version?

So … that’s that for the housewives. Still looking for the one show to watch!

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