Saturday, January 4, 2014


I like the idea of a "new year" and "new year's" resolutions. I want to think of each new year as a fresh start, a time to learn from your mistakes and an opportunity to make changes to your life. I'm not saying I'm an expert at doing any of those things, but I like the idea of it.

I'm not calling the things I want to do in 2014 (or start doing) as a complete list or things JUST for 2014, but I want a redo on some things. So, the new year is a good place to start.
  1. Quit trying to control my kid's lives. If you have children, you know how much you worry, how you want them to learn from your mistakes, how you want to help them with everything. My daughter actually does want to learn from mistakes. She's a more practical person, a reasonable force in my life. My son does not. He wants to make his own mistakes, and learn the hard way. It definitely shows the difference in their personalities. I've got to let go just a little. This is very difficult for me.
  2. Trying to stay positive. I have a stressful job, and there are some new things going on in my industry anyway that make it difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel, so I'm prone to be negative about the whole thing. I'm got to accept things as they are, change what I can and go with the flow. As part of this, I have to "get over" things I have held onto ... petty grudges and little bouts of paranoia. This "positive" resolution is mostly job related. I'm pretty positive about the other aspects of my life.
  3. Be healthy. Sounds good; hard to do. I have a weakness for sweets, so I've got to learn to leave those for special occasions.
  4. Limit Facebook statuses to things that might really be interesting. My daughter actually gave me this idea, and she's right. A few of my FB friends post every little damn thing, even if they make a trip to Target. Or if they exercise (something lots of people do but don't brag about it.) She's right, nobody cares about that.
  5. Spend time with the people I really care about. I'm getting older; no wasted time. I want to spend as much time as possible with my son, my daughter, my boyfriend/life partner (I'm too old to call him my boyfriend but there you are), my family, and those friends I really love and miss. 
  6. And, finally, the most important one, learn to NOT LIVE IN FEAR. I often do not do things I want to do because of what other people might think. I'm not talking about doing stupid or criminal things or acting like a 20 year old when I am 51. I'm talking about the fact that I no longer eat pork, because it's a choice I made, and yet I'm afraid to mention it to my mother as I do not want the questions or the judgement. Silly, but true. I'm talking about not caring what other people think about the books I read, the shows I watch, the clothes I wear, the friends I choose, the life I lead. It's my life so FU if you don't like it. Wow, that felt good. (I do want to point out here that my boyfriend never casts judgement on me. He really does accept me as I am. He's so refreshing!)
Happy New Year! I sincerely home everyone has a good one, and enjoys every minute of it.

Friday, November 15, 2013

Social Media Overload

I am trying not to blog about my children because they don't like it. But it's hard. They are in their 20s, and they are both very independent and do not like to be "smothered."

 I'm not sure why they don't like me to blog about them but I would guess they think 1) I'm going to write something to embarrass them or 2) I am embarrassing to them or 3) They are sick to death of the overexposure this new world of social media brings to them.

My son is a private person (no Facebook even) and my daughter is very selective about what she posts on Facebook. I'm out there EVERYWHERE, and you would think their generation is out there, too, but not so much. Maybe they are suffering from "social media overload." I've also heard it called Facebook Fatigue. But since I don't have it, I hadn't really noticed it. More that the older among us, I believe they are tired of every day in the spotlight.

I never lived my life online. Until now. This is fairly new to me. Facebook wasn't around when my children were little. I would have jumped off a bridge if Pinterest had been around. I just can't and couldn't have lived up. I am just getting the hang of this social media thing, and I like the ability to quickly share photos and news. I remember the days when you had to develop the film, wait a week to get the photos, be disappointed in how they turned out, then take some more, wait again, find a good picture, write and letter and get an envelope and a stamp, then mail the photo to the person you wanted to see it. What a pain.I can appreciate the ease of Facebook and Twitter. I'm enjoying it.

But I wonder about my children. They want some privacy. They don't everyone to know where they are all the time. And it is not out of fear or paranoia, it's out of privacy. They want quiet time. They like to read, watch movies, play basketball with friends. They are already tethered to their phones, and that's probably enough. They can't get away from me. I know how to text. I expect them to text back immediately. I expect them to pick up the phone when I call. My daughter often responds to my texts with a "I'm studying. I will call you later." And my son responds with a terse "Work" or, just as often, "I'm at the library." The library. I remember those. My kids both LIKE the library. They have peace and quiet there.

When I was a teenager, I went out and was supposed to be home at a certain time. My mom just had to wait. When I was in college, she could only catch me if I happened to be in my room. She did not know what I did for weeks. I can keep up with my kids almost hourly. It is what moms want to do, but it must be exhausting for this new generation.

Social media is a part of their lives. It's not special, it's just normal. They have no idea what it's like to NOT have immediate access to friends, family, news, music, videos, movies, clothes, food, to not have immediate access to the media or the news or your friends' every activity.

I do understand oversharing. We all see that alot. Although I love social media,some things are just not meant to be shared with everyone else. Remember to HAVE A POINT. Or a funny story. Or something interesting. The fact that you went to the grocery store or that you think you are going to be bed early is not interesting. Entertain me, don't bore me. Maybe I expect too much. Or maybe I am on social media too much. Whatever ... I like it; no apologies.

Anyway, back to my children. I have to respect that they need some privacy. I've been really trying to not tag them, or LIKE their photos too much. Or monitor their every move. Or text them every hour. Everyone deserves some privacy. It's unfortunate that they have to look for something that should be easily available. They probably have the right idea. It's their lives, their business. If they don't share it, you can't judge it. If they don't tell you about it, it's none of your business.

I guess the time has come where I can learn from my children. That's a great feeling, so I'm sharing it on my blog.