Saturday, September 24, 2011

Big Easy Brides "Swamp Wedding"

Here we go with the fun from the French Quarter Wedding Chapel ...

Wedding No. 1
Megan and Chris, one of the drunkest couples I've ever seen on this show who  ...  and I'm pretty sure they won't remember this in the morning ... request a quickie marriage at a bar where they happen to be drinking. A "dive bar" wedding ... one of the many themes for New Orleans traditional nuptials. After the "marriage ceremony" the bride decides to donate her bra to the collection that the bar owner has hanging from the ceiling. (creepy) So, the bride goes topless for a minute or two. Then, the beer is getting the best of her and she needs to make a quick trip to the restroom and while on her way, a bar patron (female) shouts her best wishes ... "Congratulations on your skank wedding." The bride promptly beats her up. Wedding party over.

Wedding No. 2
Jasmine and Michael want to tie the knot after knowing each other for one month. She's a typical mail-order bride. No seriously, he found her online and brought her to the United States from the Philippines. At first, Michael's brother doesn't like it, but then decides she's "pretty hot looking" and maybe he'll find a bride online himself ...

Wedding No. 3
Dianna and Casey. They are some weird, outer space alien-lovin' couple. I don't even know what else to say.

Wedding No. 4
Rob and LaKeisha ... poor LaKeisha ... she believes the "witch" she has hired (Lady Mimi) can remove the demons from this man who can't stop cheating on her. LaKeisha, I don't believe the witch or the marriage or you yourself can stop this man from his cheatin' ways. Good luck.

Wedding No. 5
Now, for the finale, the featured "swamp wedding." The scary swamp couple, Andrew and Susie, have come in from their bayou habitat to meet with the wedding chapel staff. I honestly believe this might be the first time this couple has come out of the swamp. I'm not kidding. They live off the land and LOVE chitlins (pig intestines), alligator and grits and want that tasty menu at their wedding. She also adores sunflowers so sunflowers will adorn her hair. If someone can get a brush through it. For the wedding music, they want old-time country music and that famous wedding song, Jingle Bells.

Of course, it's not a featured wedding on Big Easy Brides without some fake drama so the drama here is Andrew's ex who calls and shows up to ruin the big day. Fortunately, Maria (wedding planner) is there to save the day and actually has the nerve to say "Nobody comes in and ruins a wedding that I am planning." Really? That's what this show is about. That's what happens in practically every wedding. So shut up.

By the way, for their wedding garb, Susie wore ankle booties, a veil, a yellow sundress of some sort while Andrew dressed up his overalls with a jacket.

This show annoys me to no end because everyone is TRYING to act, they create fake drama, and it's not really that entertaining. This is my one and only season to blog about it, but it may not be around next year anyway. I know one thing from watching this show, I would never get married anywhere near that place.

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