Saturday, September 24, 2011

Bridezillas "Frankie and Marissa"

Marissa, 22, and Jonathan, 23, believe they have a dysfunctional but fun relationship. Jonathan is a tree farmer and hip-hop artist. We'll see. Marissa, who I THINK has three children from three other men and a child of Jonathan's, actually seems to have all their names tattooed on her bad little self. I couldn't quite understand all the relationships and children and tattoos, but you get the picture.

Three weeks prior to the wedding, she finds out that Jonathan is cheating on her. That doesn't change her mind about getting married. Then, Jonathan, writes and performs a ridiculously horrible rap song he has written for her. If THAT didn't send her packing, nothing will.

Marissa and Jonathan are writing their own vows. He thinks he's a song writer so this should be easy for him, right? He starts off with "I love yo face" so it's going really well.

The wedding does actually take place despite the gaggle of kids, a ripped wedding dress, the lack of alcohol at the reception, the cheating' and the horrible music choices.

Frankie/Ray Ray
Frankie is getting married to Robbie (remember them from last week?). At her bridal shower, she wants it to be "nice and elegant." That means people waiting on her. It apparently does NOT mean that you can't have paper plates or plastic tablecloths or cussing or raunchy party games. It also does NOT mean that the bride must keep her cool and be thankful for her gifts. She comes unglued when she gets a coffee pot as a gift because her husband-to-be drinks coffee, but she does not. I don't think she even understands the reasoning behind showers and gifts.

In other Frankie news:

  • She wants the more expensive photographer even though she can't afford it. However, after seeing the samples from the cheaper photographer, I think she's right.
  • She forces one of her bridesmaids to get her ears pierced. Literally holds her down.
  • She still doesn't have her wedding dress three days prior to the wedding. She ordered it online from far far away. 
  • And, because of the dress, she doesn't want to go to the reception hall and pick the menu. Say what? What kind of catering service lets you select the menu three days prior to the wedding? I'm thinking KFC or Pizza Hut. We'll see next week.

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