Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Jersey Shore "Where is my boyfriend?"

Snooki and Deena were hauled off to jail after rear-ending a police car, but they were released with just a fine and … now …. No license for Snooki. They lost the only other driver who kinda knew  how to drink a stick shift.

So, we’re waiting on the arrival of Snooki’s boyfriend, Jionni, from Jersey. Roger, Jenni’s boyfriend, can’t get off work so no trip to Italy for him. Because Jenni is upset, the girls decide a night out is what Jenni needs. Just the girls … so Jenni, Sammi and Deena hit the bars. They guys also head out on the town, and decide to bring home some new friends.

However, in the meantime … our little meatball is home waiting on Jionni. And, just to spice up the evening ... Mike’s little stalker, Brittany, shows up. Snooki puts her in Mike’s bed for a skanky little surprise for Mike. Then Mike brings Girl From Club home. However, a bird in the hand is worth two in the … so Mike sends Girl From Club home.

Finally, Jionni arrives and Snooki seems beyond happy. However, when they head out to the club and she gets drunk and does a little “sexy dance” and shows her booty … Jionni has had enough.  He storms off into the night. So after only about six hours in Italy … about three of which he is roaming the streets of Florence … he hits the door leaving Snooki to cry in her pillow.  “See ya. You’re single” were his final words to the tear-covered Snooki.

What’s weird about this is that … the girls seem to be more on Jionni’s side and the boys seem to be on Snooki’s side. However, would they want their girlfriend behaving like that? Think Ronnie? Would you? Think Vinnie … really? We all know if Snooki wants to have a serious relationship, she better learn to curb her drinking just a tad. And Jionni, did you just meet her?

Most memorable quotes of the show:

  • Snooki — “He’s like crocodilly but alive.” (Comparing Jionni to her much-loved stuffed animal.)
  • Jenni — “At least I can say I got to walk in Florence barefoot.” (Jenni when chasing Jionni through the streets.)

Most memorable non-meatball moments of the show:

  • Mike suddenly thinks he’s Crouching Tiger as he kicks the thin air constantly to show his weird-pigeon toed kung fu moves. He also has become paranoid and believes Jionni, who is completely clueless, is out to get him. Jionni doesn’t take the kung fu bait, and escapes unharmed. However, I do think the wall is out to get Mike.
  • Jenni spray tans Snooki’s butt. Now, they are BFFs forever!

More next week.

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