Jersey Shore 2011 - "And the Wall Won"

Ronnie 0. Mike 0. Wall TKO.

According to the promos, Mike and Ronnie have a battle royal. Not so much. They have a little tussle, but prior to that ... Mike is so enraged that he hits his own head against the concrete wall. So, basically, Mike beat himself up. Sent himself to the hospital. Gave himself a "slight concussion and neck sprain." After he returns from the hospital, he mopes around feeling sorry for himself because the gang's all gone (doing laundry or at the gym or something). Pauly D finally comes home and gets a look at Mike's outfit.

According to Pauly D, the fashionista, "You don't wear sunglasses with a neck brace. That looks ridiculous." However, we know that gelling your hair until it stands straight up looks cool.

After the fight, everyone is crying. Everyone is upset. Most people seem to blame Sammi. Ronnie feels bad and apologizes to everyone. To remind everyone, they got in a fight because Sammi told Ronnie that Mike said something. Yeesh.

So, Sammi and Ronnie break up for the 42nd time. He admits he's been calling girls (actually one I believe) while he's been in Italy. Sammi is heartbroken ... again ... so she leaves all the gifts that Ronnie has purchased her (a purse, earrings, some clothes) on his bed. He finds them there and dumps them in the trash. She gets them out of the trash because she doesn't want the stuff thrown away. She was just making a point.

Later, after a night on the town with the guys, Ronnie laves a grenade alone at the bar and decides he would rather be with Sammi. He buys her flowers and gives them to her at the house and the first words that pop out of her mouth are "Did you bring a girl home?" Not "thank you." Not "how sweet." Not "I love you, too." Ronnie doesn't take her reaction well, and takes the flowers back and into the trash they go. Sammie goes dumpster diving once again and retrieves the flowers.

In other news, we learn:

• Snooki's boyfriend doesn't like dirty talk. That makes him a normal person, and makes me wonder what he is doing with Snooki who apparently even talks dirty to herself.
• Pauly D, when drunk, also doesn't mind throwing a few punches (although he admits later he is not a fighter). Some guy at a bar keeps yelling "Che Sosa?" (which I think means "What?" or literally "What thing?" ) at Pauly D and even makes a throat-slashing gesture. Pauly D wants to take him on, but the almost-fight is stopped.

Next week, looks like Snooki is in a brawl. A new fight every week!!