Wedding #1
Richard and Karen, who have been drinking, and their friends, who also have been drinking, show up in the middle of the night ... wearing togas no less ... and want to get married. They have known each other between 8 and 10 months. No one is really sure. The ceremony is performed, and then there's a big drunk toga-filled dog pile. And, like any newlyweds, they want to celebrate their nuptials by streaking down Bourbon Street. Groom goes first, and the rest follow. I hope they didn't spend their honeymoon in jail. I also hope they actually remember they are married.
Wedding #2
Tim and Brandy, who are bodybuilders, wear tiny little bikinis (yes, even him) for their big day. Guests, too. From a distance, Brandy looks a little younger than she actually is ... I believe. You know I have high definition TV right? I can see everything. So watch out reality show divas ... I see the real you. Anyway, in the middle of the "I dos" ... the maid of honor stops the wedding, she and the bride step out, and we find out that she also is in love with the bride. This was very contrived, and I didn't buy a word of it. These ladies are terrible actresses. After that ridiculousness, the wedding continues, and we have two more people that are going to fight over who keeps the dining room set in two years. If that.
Weddings #3 and #4
The wedding chapel staff are challenged to find some people to marry on a slow day. So ... we get Teresa and Robert, who are simply renewing their vows after 30 years of marriage. And, we have Alex and Steph, a same-sex couple, who are ready to tie the knot. No drama here and no fireworks. Just two couples declaring their commitments to each other in the Chapel. Although I don't think you can "remarry" someone legally, and I don't think same-sex marriages are legal in Louisiana, these two weddings were the most "real" and probably have the most staying power.
Wedding #5
And, finally, the reason we are all here, to celebrate the union of ... Chassidy and Nick. These two, young and pierced and stupid, live somewhere in the bayou. Now, try to keep up. Nick, who is nothing to look at or hear and I wonder if he even has a job, has a baby with Chassidy's best friend, Angel, whom Nick calls "The Thing." Chassidy also thinks she is pregnant (thus, the wedding). The Chapel's Maria, the wedding planner, wonders ... along with the rest of us ... what is so attractive about this guy? So she asks the girls ... Is the sex that good? They both admit they have had better. Right on TV.
Then on the wedding day, with the groom in jeans and a T-shirt, and the bride in a short, tight white dress with pink straps, Angel drops a video bombshell. She has Nick on her phone kissing another girl! The night before! Even before this shocking news, the bride already is saying she's not 100 percent sure she wants to marry this guy.
So, a few minutes pre-wedding, Chassidy pretty much wants out, and to guarantee it, Jaelyn shows up (that's the girl in the kissing video) to fight for her (and Chassidy's ... and Angel's) man. Chassidy doesn't put up much of a fight, and tells Jaelyn she can have him. Wedding off. Food and music and alcohol on. (This is Louisiana.)
And, to end the show, we see Jaelyn comforting (and kissing) the distraught Nick ... who maybe really wanted to marry Chassidy? Oh well. Now he has Jaelyn!
Next week, more Big Easy Brides.
Sorry I'm late with this blog; it's hard to work and parent and blog and live. I'm trying to get more organized.
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