Man, I hate this show. But here goes ...
Wedding No. 1
Morgan and Jeff, a Northern California couple looking for a unique wedding experience, ask the folks at the French Quarter Wedding Chapel to arrange it. They have been wanting to get married for a long time so they decided to elope to New Orleans. Morgan loves Jeff because he's a "guy's guy" and Jeff loves Morgan because she "lets me be me." Can you say "Jeff might be self-centered so how long will this marriage last" three times fast? They take a boat ride on the bayou and get married on a rickety old dock. Done.
Wedding No. 2
Shay and Aaron are a nurse/cowgirl and bull rider in love. For the wedding ceremony, lots of drunken guests and a groom in chaps. Let me say it again. Chaps. Wait ... did I mention that was ALL he was wearing on his lower half? We didn't get a view (thankfully) but the guests got an eye-full. One female liked it so much that she gave his bottom a two-handed slap. Bride no likey. A fight breaks out. Can you say "staged?"
Wedding No. 3
Candy and Trent are looking for something "darker and heavier" at their heavy metal nuptials inside the chapel. So ... the bride makes her entrance from a casket, and everyone is dressed in leather and no lace. Except the bride's mother ... who shows up in a traditional dress. She's not crazy about the guests. "These are the kind of people I ran from as a kid." The dark chocolate cake. "A wedding cake should be white." And the groom who dedicated the ceremony to satan because he's a "fan" of his work. "What did he say?"
What mother wouldn't be a little disappointed in THIS for her daughter? She tells her daughter she's making a terrible mistake. I would put my money on the mom.
Wedding No. 4
Kai and Sarah are a comic book designer and corporate lawyer in love. Can you see where this is going? Wait, you know she's the lawyer, right? Sarah, and her parents, want Kai to sign a prenuptial agreement. Kai don't wanna. His parents don't want him to either. However, the second generation lawyer says there will be no wedding if there is no prenup. He caves and the wedding goes on. I would hire her.
Wedding No. 5
Allison and Bridgette want a "gay pride wedding that's festive and with rainbows." Everyone is on board and fine with it and all that (this is 2011) ... except that Allison hasn't told her parents that she is in love with a woman. When told, mom takes it pretty well and eventually shows up at the chapel wedding. Apparently, dad didn't take it as well and he's a no show.
After the wedding, they have a parade in white dresses through the streets of New Orleans. It starts pouring down rain, but it ends with a rainbow so all's well with the couple. Almost. Then, some drunken goon starts shouting remarks at the couple and promptly gets a beat down by two of their bestest friends. No harm done. The little umbrella didn't seem to injure him ... so all that's hurt in the end is everyone's feelings.
More next week.