Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Bridezillas - Brittany and Kim

Kim,25, is marrying her longtime neighbor and now fiance, Jeremiah, 26. They, literally, grew up across the street from each other. They've been dating for 10 years, and they have a 3-year-old daughter. They admit it was "hate at first sight," but then Kim's cousin expressed an interest in Jeremiah, so Kim decided she wanted him for herself and developed a "crazy psycho stalker crush." She says you know it's love when you "hate someone so much that you can't live without him." I've always said that.

Kim handles stress about as well as any three year old. She cries, screams, yells and throws things. In her first test with stress ... get ready ... a cancelled tanning appointment ... Kim begins her tirade against her family and fiance to help her find a new salon. Forget picking up a phone book and doing it herself, Kim just wants to whine and complain. And, during this incident, we get our first taste of her parents. And they are sour. The mom has a mouth on her ... so we discover quickly where Kim gets her attitude. Her mother, none too attractive and just maybe a little overweight, has the nerve to criticize Kim's appearance by pointing out a tiny zit on her face. Kim, who admits she loves her face, isn't too happy about the criticism. And, honestly, I don't blame her. Be supportive and caring MOM. That's what moms do MOM.

Later, at a family dinner, mom points at herself and tells Kim that "this is you in 10 years." Dad chimes in about how he used to be able to fit mom's butt in one hand, and now he can't even do it with two. "Soup" gold right there. Kim's fiance, jokingly, says Kim was none too pretty when he started dating her so he wasn't in it for looks. He quickly tells her that she is "beautiful now," but the damage is done. Kim, who is sick anyway, leaves for the car. The night was no fun for her.

We find out that Kim wanted a black wedding dress, but her mom wouldn't have it (can't blame her there) so, instead, she decides to wear a black dress at the wedding reception and shows it off to her mom. Her mom tells her she will embarrass them and look like a jackass. Kim responds that they are all a bunch of jackasses anyway. OK, I will agree with her there.

Kim, overwhelmed by the stress of gluing ribbons onto glasses for her reception, wants Jeremiah to help with this chore. Jeremiah, who has been working in the hot sun on a roof all day, wants to play an Xbox game with his little girl. First she throws something at him. As Jeremiah continues to refuse, Kim threatens to ... then does ... slam the Xbox into the ground.

More on Kim next week.

Brittany, the Buddhist wannabe who likes the "idea of it" has all sorts of pet names for her fiance, Michael. Each time she refers to him or wants his attention,she calls him an "idiot" or a "moron." Her returns the favor by calling her "honey." According to Brittany, this guy can't do anything right ... he forgot the keys, he's a terrible driver, he doesn't talk loud enough ... the list of things Brittany doesn't like about him is endless. Again, why does she want to marry him? Actually, he is a sweetheart and deserves better.

At her bridesmaids' dress fitting, Brittany sells her dress from her first wedding to one of her bridesmaids, who is getting married also. The dress doesn't even remotely fit the girl, so I'm not sure why she is buying it. The bridesmaids' dresses are fitting OK, except one is the wrong color. I couldn't really understand what happened there, possibly because of the all drinking going on at the fitting.

Right before the actual wedding, Brittany kicks two bridesmaids (Liz and Ingrid) out of the wedding. One (Ingrid) because of something she said or did (or didn't say or do) to the wedding planner and one (Liz) because she supposedly has a thing for Michael. Then Ingrid is back in. Whew! That was close! Liz, however, has no such luck. Brittany replaces her with her wedding planner that she barely knows and found online. That makes for happy memories ... when your bridesmaid is a complete stranger. Poor Liz is waiting in her car in the parking lot hoping for a last-minute reprieve that never comes.

The wedding is a small, intimate affair with personal vows. Brittany is choked up and can't read hers, so weirdly, the minister reads them to Michael.

Thank goodness it's finally over, but now without last minute drama and firetrucks and who knows what. I was tuned out at this point, and very tired of the mean-spirited Brittany. I wish Michael the best.

More Bridezillas next week.

No comments: