Sunday, February 12, 2012

The Bachelor, Episode 6

The remaining girls ... oh, and Ben ... are in Panama ... and there is one group date, the much-wanted one-on-one date, and the dreaded two-on-one date where one girl goes home.

As the show starts, Ben is reading from the standard script ..."there are women here I can see myself with for the rest of my life" and my personal favorite "love is in the air." Ouch. That one actually hurt.

Kacie B. gets the first date ... it's a one-on-one, her second and the girls are JEALOUS. I think Ben likes her. They are going to rough it. A helicopter and camera crew take them out into the middle of nowhere on some island (this is so stupid, it is almost unbearable). So, Ben, Kacie, the producers, the helicopter crew, the camera crew and whoever else are trying to make it alone. He tells her to bring three things. She wisely brings a stuffed monkey, a corkscrew (I needed the wine), and some candy. He brings a machete, some matches and some wire or rope or something else to hang himself. Anyway, they cut down coconuts, catch a fish, build a fire ... and head back to the resort in the helicopter. A fancy dinner, some talking and Kacie gets a rose. "From one to wonderful, today was fantastic," gushes Kacie.

On the group date goes Courtney, Jamie, Emily, Nicki, Lindzi and Casey S. He shows up in a canoe on the river (by the way it has a motor ... it's not like he was paddling the damn thing), but the girls go on and on about how manly he is as they head downstream) and they just happen to come upon a village full of women in beaded bikini tops and men in loin cloths (who want to share their clothing with the new arrivals). Shockingly, the beaded tops won't completely cover enhancements, but Courtney doesn't care and she lets it all hang out. And, Ben, playing the village fool, wears the loin cloth. The other girls show more modesty and keep their own tops. Courtney wins this round because Village Idiot Ben can't keep away from Courtney. He appreciates that she got caught up in the spirit of the moment and the village dancing and all that. By the way, Ben should keep his clothes on. He spent maybe NO percent of time working out and getting in shape compared to previous bachelors. He is not a hot-bodied bachelor. So the girls should let the fake panting about his body go ... it doesn't play real.

Despite Courtney's nakedness, Ben shows the love to Lindzi and she gets the group date rose. Courtney is not distracted by that and still issues a room invite for the evening to Ben. He doesn't take her up on it, and we get a view of Courtney alone and sad in her room talking about how she's always been mistreated by men. Hmmmm Wonder why?

On the two-on-one date, it's a weird salsa dancing exhibition between Ben, Blakeley and Rachel that's a little too creepy for my taste. And it gets even creepier when Blakeley gets Ben alone and pulls out a scrapbook she's been making of her life with Ben ... what it's like, what it could be like. OK, stalker ... you are now going home. And, she does. The rose goes to Rachel.

OK, let's talk about two other strange "events" of this show.

The producers discovered that Casey S. may still be in love with an ex-boyfriend, and may not really be "completely there" for Ben. She may be using Ben to get over this ex. Wait a minute. Who cares? Don't they all have ex-relationships in their lives? And, by the way, didn't Ben just recently propose to a girl named Ashley so maybe he's the one using the show to get over someone? Whatever. Ben was rude to her, and they sent her home abruptly. And, Chris Harrison, what a loser. I got news for everyone. No one is there to find love. No one does. It's a show. It's about fame, fortune and winning. Get over yourselves.

And, Emily, trying to be nice to Courtney, apologized to her and told her maybe she had misjudged her. Courtney, because Emily and EVERYONE is right about her, immediately didn't forgive her and said something rude and acted crazy. So there. Ben, you get what you deserve.

Finally, in the most awkward moment ever on The Bachelor ... we got to see Jamie act out her sixth-grade fantasy moment with Ben, a play-by-play on how-to-kiss-someone-you-are-not-really-attracted-to-with-10-cameras-in-your-face. She couldn't let well enough alone and leave the show with some class and dignity with no one talking about what a fool she made of herself ... no, she had to get down in the mud with everyone else. Even Ben couldn't take it, and had to stop her.

No rose for Jamie.

More next week. However, I just want to say one thing. It seems like with every bachelor or bachelorette, I like them with they are a CONTESTANT and then I can't stand them when they become the bachelor or bachelorette. It always happens. I'm scared because the next bachelorette is Emily Maynard, and I'm afraid we will see her true colors. They are all playing a part. Some are just better at it than others.

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