Friday, May 13, 2011

Mad About Housewives

 I’m not an avid, dedicated or even regular watcher of the “Housewives” (not worried about whether they are from Orange County or New Jersey). It’s not because I’m not infatuated (not quite in love yet) with them because I am. It’s because I can’t remember when they are on … there are too many of these shows so I can’t keep up.
However, I’ve watched some of the housewives in action, and as such, have a few opinions. My favorite groups are from Orange County and New York because they are the meanest, snobbiest, most hateful, most aggressive, most narcissistic of the bunch.
Let’s start with Orange County. I’m so sick of Vicky. You have a job. We get it. You support your family. We know. You make the money. Yessss. I got news for you Vicky. You may be the only one of your flighty friends that works for a living, going to an 8 to burning-the-midnight-oil kind of job. But you are not alone. There are many, many women out there working for a living. You are not special.
Tamra — I appreciate that Tamra is in love. I love romance. I actually like Eddie. He’s good looking and seems very nice. They are a little over the top, but I get it. However, an “in love Tamra” doesn’t equal a “nice Tamra” Come on girl, where’s the love for everybody else?
 Gretchen — Boring. Silly. Talks too much. LOUD. She and Tamra are a lot alike. Lose Slade.
 Alexis — Really? Really!!!? She is beautiful, and actually pretty sweet. Why is she with that control freak Jim? It tells me that you can seem to have it all, and still be insecure enough to want a man around. Any man.
 Peggy — Peggy does seem like a typical OC bleached blonde with a rich husband and a fancy car. But, her husband is a little weird.
 My favorite men on the show are Donn (Vicky, really, you expect way too much from this guy. He actually treated you right, and you didn’t appreciate it. I can’t wait to see whom you hook up with next.) And, Eddie … for now.  The other men, I don’t understand. I THINK these women could do better. But, in defense of them, you can’t decide who you love and why.
 Are there other women on the OC? I don’t even know. Can’t remember.

Now, NYC.

Ramona — Please just shut up. I get a headache listening to you blabbering on and on about who has offended you, who doesn’t appreciate you, who you don’t like, who has offended a friend of yours, who you think might be offended. Enough already. Take a deep breath. Ramona actually does have a great husband and kid. However, she speaks before she thinks. She is very rude to the other women, and I don’t think she would appreciate it if she were treated the same way. That comment to LuAnn about being a “weekend mom” was just out of line. And, she always wants to stir up trouble. She is looking for it.
Luann — I used to hate Luann and think she was a pretentious snob. Now … she’s my favorite. Love has done her good. We’ve been introduced to a kinder, gentler, even prettier (which is weird) LuAnn, and I’m all about it. She is the voice of reason, the hostess with the heart … I like her!
Sonya — Another reversal. I liked Sonya last season, and now I think she is a camera-loving, bossy know-it-all with a sharp tongue without wit to match. Go away.
Kelly — Still crazy after all these seasons. I miss Bethenny.
Alex — Alex thinks she is smart (I don’t know), beautiful (not), admired (not again), and has a great husband (double not). She is way more pleased with herself most of the time that anyone else could ever be. And, really, a model?
Jill — Where has she been this season? Looking forward to her drama with all the other women. She gets her feelings hurt very easily. Toughen up, girl!
Cindy — The new girl. She is a typical new girl thrown in with all the mean girls. They don’t want to accept her, they are jealous of her, they are worried about how much time she might get in front of the camera (watch out Sonya), and they want to break her spirit right away. I like her more every time one of these egomaniacal New Yorkers tries to keep her down.

Until next time.

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