Saturday, September 7, 2013

All Good Things Lead to Stress

I know just a little bit about stress. I've been a worrier my entire life. And, I even have a disease that worsens with stress. Type A personalities should not also have diseases worsened by having a Type A personalities.

And, the things that make your life better also make your life more stressed. No wonder everyone wants a therapist or Prozac or Pinot Noir.

Most studies point to a death, illness, loss of job, or moving as the most stressful things in life. I'm talking about those things that are stressful every single day.

Work. If you work hard, get a good education, and start a promising career ... the better you are at that career, the more work will be piled on and the job becomes more and more difficult. And, it's true that being efficient, hardworking and diligent on difficult projects will just lead to MORE overwhelming projects with higher expectations. The other choice is just suck at your job, but that might lead to not having your job and again ... stress. So, maybe being mediocre at your job is the answer?

Kids. If you have children, you probably feel like they make you complete and happy and you can't believe you love them so much ... but having children also begins a lifetime of worry, heartache and actual terror like you never imagined. You want to protect them from bumping their heads and losing their lunch money; from the pain of not making the football team to the disappointment when they don't get their dream job. This is a battle you will lose. You will not always do or say the right thing. They will be mad at you when you try to do the right thing.They will accuse you of being a "smother." They will swear you do not trust them. They will call you a bad mom. They will say things about you that have never crossed your mind and you have never even heard about. And, you can't protect them from everything. There will be broken arms. There will be "mean girls." There will be failures. And that hurts way more and is way more stressful than if those things happened to you.

Relationships. Parents, family, friends, significant others, kids, co-workers ... all these can bring expectations. Call more often. Make the Christmas turkey. Plan the get together. Pay for this THING I have to have. Coach the team. Meet the deadlines. Give a presentation. Be happy. Make me happy. You know what I mean.

Technology. I absolutely love technology, but it adds this constant buzz in my head. Between my iPhone, my iPad, my laptop, my Mac ... I can't get away from work or the news or friends or family or anything. I'm stressed out blogging right now. I should be napping or drinking a mimosa.

Doing the right thing. Whether you are trying to bake cupcakes for your daughter's third grade class Halloween party or planning an anniversary party for your parents on their 40th, someone is going to make you feel guilty. One time I brought doughnuts to my daughter's class party. I did the easy thing. It was an early party and I had to get the kids ready and get to work. Another mom made eggs, bacon and a whole freakin' breakfast buffet. So ANOTHER mom, who brought nothing I might add, made a comment to me about how the short-order-cook-mom was just so awesome and maybe I shouldn't have brought doughnuts. Ouch. I got JUDGED. I kept my mouth shut, but I wish I had said something to both of those moms. Like maybe they should have called the ROOM MOTHER first, so I would have known the plan. So being a good person LIKE A ROOM MOM and KEEPING YOUR MOUTH SHUT is stressful.

So WORK, KIDS, RELATIONSHIPS, TECHNOLOGY, BEING A GOOD PERSON, are all things that are good and bad. Fulfilling and stressful. I guess I am OK with that.

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