Thursday, June 21, 2012

The Bachelorette (Emily Maynard) June 18, 2012

They are in Croatia. 

I know this city is old. I know it has history. I just don’t see it as romantic. Maybe it’s just me.

Emily is in a mood. No more playing. Step up or be stepped on. She wants a husband! Her one-on-one dates this time around are for real … and the first guy on the chopping block is sweet, funny Travis. They go “exploring” Croatia. They get ice cream. Emily picks pistachio … ahhh, I should have known. They have a silly, horrible date. And, Travis gets sent packing. He cries because it hurts. Don’t cry, dude. He was in the “friend zone,” but he is a good guy … there is a girl for him … lots of girls out there now.

On the group date … it’s John, Doug, Sean, Jef, Chris and Arie, and they go so the children’s movie Brave … there’s never been a more shameless plug except maybe Diet Coke or Ford on American Idol. I know this is NOT the movie these guys would have picked.

Then they play the “highland games” and they all get to wear kilts. “You know what the difference is between a skirt and a kilt,” says Sean. “Nothing.”

Chris sucks at all the events. Has bad form when shooting the bow and arrow. Goes first at the “log toss” but can’t throw it. And challenges his bigger and badder rival, Doug, to the “pull” thing and loses. All as a good sport.

Sean, however, is an athlete and shows his stuff. Emily thinks he’s hot.

Chris, however, wins the “bravery cup” for putting it all on the line and laughing it off.

During the evening group date, Emily spends time alone with each guy and ….
  • Basically tells Sean to “hang in there” as if there’s something we all don’t know.\
  • Makes out with Arie.
  • Gets a word-lashing from Jef with “we could have the kind of love that people write novels about” or some such nonsense. And then Emily wonders out loud to Jen what took him so long to kiss her. She wants aggressive, in-your-face men. That’s why she likes Arie.
  • But Chris, one of my faves, gets the group date rose. Take that, Arie, you kissin’ freak!

Then, the next one-on-one date is with the charmer, Ryan. They have chemistry. They have a fun day. They laugh. She smiles showing off her beautiful (capped?) teeth.  They have easy conversations. Ryan wonders if she is the woman God has chosen for him.

But, he blows it at the dinner. He reads her a list of all the things he wants in a wife after dinner, probably thinking she fits the bill. It includes stuff like … loyalty, confident, faithful, unselfish, encourager, assertive … all things that benefit him. However, it doesn’t include the one thing that would be at the top of Emily’s list “a loving family.” Ah oh, Ryan.

She likes him but she doesn’t give him the rose. Surprisingly, he almost … but not quite … makes her rethink it. She stands her ground. Wow. She’s tougher than I thought.

He handles it better than I thought. Takes the blow fairly gracefully, and he’s gone.

Then, later … Arie, the snake … makes a trip to Emily’s hotel to tell her she made the right decision (nice work, Arie, warning her AFTER Ryan has left the building), kiss her a few dozen times, and sit on her bed. Yuck! I really do not like this guy.

At the rose ceremony, John and Doug are on the bubble. John wins her over by pulling out the big guns … funeral cards of his grandparents that he keeps in his wallet. He was just waiting for the right moment …

And, Doug, he’s so awkward, but I like him. He’s just so so nervous around her, but I think she wants a very, or somewhat aggressive, guy. He’s not the one.

However, both of their heads are saved from chopping block as everyone gets a rose.

More next week.

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