Sunday, July 24, 2011

Bridezillas - Danyelle and Gloria

There are very few "bridezillas" that are featured on this show for only one week or for three weeks. Lucky for us, this week features both. Danyelle has the distinction of having her entire wedding recapped in one show, while we are forced to watch one more week of the "Bro Ho" Tricia next week. At least we only have 30-minute increments of Tricia, while her poor groom-to-be is sentenced to a lifetime.

Danyelle, 28, is marrying the strait-laced military man, Will, also 28. They live in Illinois, and actually went to high school together. He felt it was love "at second sight" because he didn't like her when she was "too skinny." Although she's still thin, I guess an extra 10 pounds put him over the edge. Will says of Danyelle, "I love her, but I don't like her." He describes being under pressure to propose marriage, while she demands that he "say you weren't under pressure." He calls her bossy, demanding and deadly. Will says all this with a straight face. Never cracks a smile. I respect him; he knows what he has signed up for.

Danyelle makes her bridesmaids weigh in (while literally batting the fat out of them with an actual bat on actual parts of their bodies she finds "a little much" and those are my words, and they are much kinder than hers).

She wants a million dollar wedding on a thousand dollar budget, so Danyelle has enlisted the help of her mom's friend, Linda, to do a lot of things for free ... the invitations, the veil, the bouquets, and the list goes on and on. Danyelle does not appreciate Linda's generosity and you get nowhere with logic on this one ... Danyelle doesn't understand the word "free" or "grateful" or "thankful" and keeps insisting Linda should appreciate her business. She doesn't like the free bouquets, as they are not want she wants. And, then there's a throwdown between mom and Linda when it's discovered that Linda burnt a hole in the veil. I think she did it on purpose. I would have stuck the thing down the garbage disposal.

On the day before the wedding at the nail salon, Danyelle can't relax because Will didn't pick up his tux so she's threatening to cancel the wedding (by the way, as a bridezilla, you have to do this at least once). Also, mom keeps telling her she will have to pay her back for the wedding if she doesn't go through with it. Everyone is messing up her "aura" and then Danyelle tells her mom that that she should reimburse HER for all the joy and happiness she has brought to her mom's life. My favorite line of the night.

All's well that ends well, and Danyelle and Will's rainy wedding night seems to have Danyelle in a good mood as she looks forward to a lifetime of happiness. Will, ever the realist, points out that they will probably have fights. I love this guy.

Then, there's the Bro Ho Tricia. She was on last week, this week and we get her again next week. Yuck. Anyway, first up ... Tricia "invites" her bridesmaids to help her make centerpieces for the wedding but only the glutton-for-punishment Ashley and her baby girl show up to help. For giving up her day, Ashley is tackled, pushed and cussed out for numerous minor infringements (ie. the baby stomps on a feather and eats another one or something like that). Then, she locks Tricia outside for maybe two seconds. At that point, Tricia actually chases Ashley down. I found myself yelling, "Run Ashley Run" at the TV. What is wrong with me? More importantly, what is wrong with Ashley? She needs a new best friend. Tricia makes the baby cry when she sees her mommy tackled, and she continues to use foul language in front of the baby. Again, what is wrong with Ashley? We all know Tricia is a loon.

Tricia needs money. She has stuff to buy for the wedding. She needs food. She needs to get her nails done And, most importantly, she wants a new dress for her bachelorette party. She tends to dress "inappropriately" ... again, my words. So Jesse, the future groom, wants her to tone it down. Prior to her dress shopping trip, she takes out $300 from his checking account, and it puts him over the edge. Their rent check then bounces. Tricia doesn't care. She has super short and tight dresses to try on, and she does. They are all two sizes too short, too tight and too small. She doesn't buy anything. Thank goodness.

For her bachelorette party, Tricia and three or four or whatever of her friends go to a club where they dance with and grope each other all night. Jesse follows them, and he's none too happy because they were not supposed to go to a club. According to Tricia, he's "off the charts" pissed.

We'll see what happens next week.

1 comment:

Kelly said...

I agree. My bad for not mentioning the treatment of that baby more. It was beyond the pale. Thanks for commenting.