Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Bridezillas —Krystal and Gabrielle

We’re back to Krystal and her beer-drinking bunch. First up, Mom. Krystal’s mom is upset because Krystal has invited her father to the wedding. Now, that makes sense. After all, they have been divorced for 16 years or more so there is obviously a lot of pent-up hostility there.

Mom and Dad “accidently” run into each other and Krystal’s house when dad stops by to drop off a suitcase and mom drops by apparently for no reason. Out of the blue, mom announces to dad (who does not care with the rest of us) that she has a boyfriend and that he, yes HE, needs to move on. After all that, dad asks Krystal sarcastically if he can bring his girlfriend to the wedding. That would be a no. Mom says it’s because there are “No skanks allowed.” Hmmm. Mom keeps going on and on and on finally crosses the line with Krystal when she calls dad a “pervert” and even worse. Mom gets kicked out. Thank goodness. She threatens to stay away from the wedding. No one cares.

Other highlights prior to the wedding:
• Krystal searches online for vows. She obviously wants them to be very heartfelt.
• She decides to get a tattoo to prove her love on her forearm with their favorite song lyrics … “Forever your fighting partner.” You’d think he wouldn’t like it. He loved it so much it made him cry.

Finally, they are heading to the wedding … in a TROLLEY no less. The groomsmen get kicked off the trolley for vulgar language, smoking and who knows what. Krystal talks nice for two seconds to the trolley driver and everybody is back on … and then she out-cusses them all. Nice.

Then, the wedding. Everybody’s doing shots. Getting drunk. Oh boy. At the end of the night in the final interview, Krystal’s new hubby shows his ass to the camera. Literally.

And then Gabrielle.  I missed the first few minutes of the show so I didn’t catch her husband-to-be’s name. Gabby is bossy and likes to incite fights between her friends. She treats her bridesmaids as errand girls. She lies to her wedding planner.

For example, her fiancé made it clear they could not afford a rehearsal dinner, but because Gabby wanted one, and she hoped money would fall out of the sky, she didn’t tell the wedding planner who ordered the food. Then, at the last minute, Gabby has to cancel the dinner and acts like she never really said she was having the rehearsal dinner in the first place. Not. Really. True.

More next week.

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