My usually sweet, always passionate and highly sensitive daughter told me last night that she didn't want to live a "life of medocrity," well, like her mother. She implied that while I may be content worrying about bills and money and my job and the simple things in life in general ... she wants more than that. She wants the big city, the bright lights, the fame, the fortune, the beautiful and intelligent people, something more than our town has to offer. Something more than I, or possibly anyone she currently knows, can give her. She has a need that we just can't fulfill. She wants something intangible, and it's hard for her to know just what it is ... or where to find it.
Her desires make me want to laugh and cry at the same time. She reminds me so much of myself at her age. I would write in my diary that I didn't want to live the life of my stay-at-home mother, that I wouldn't be satisfied with just being, just taking care of kids and a husband, spending my days reading cookbooks, ordering from an Avon catalog and gossiping with those who would listen. I wanted to move away, and back in the day, I wanted to be a flight attendant, and then later, a journalist. My daughter wants to be a rock and roll journalist (and really, she's an awesome writer, and I believe, her dream is more than just a dream, it is attainable for someone like her ... someone with real talent and drive).
Now, I'm a realist and it's hard to explain to my beautiful daughter, the dreamer, that sometimes life just happens and you make the best of things and you learn to live and love the life you have, not the life you once desired. Things don't always turn out the way we planned, but that doesn't mean it's not good. We can't judge other people's choices, and we all make choices that are the best for us. My mom actually followed her heart's desire as she wanted to be a mom and a wife ... I just didn't know that. And, she was ... and is ... a good mom. What I wanted changed, and it is still changing.
My desire for my daughter is a life fulfilled and, of course, not a life of mediocrity.